Hi, do you have some headcanons about bottom Sirius? He doesn't let anyone notice, but Remus has always known, and when they're together for the first time and he ends in that position, thousands of doors to pleasure open.
ah, i could truly go on forever about this. thank you for giving me the space to just absolutely drown in this thought 😈
before remus, sirius probably associated being on the bottom with being vulnerable, maybe even “weak”, and the thought of someone else being in control, physically dominating him, was anathema to his self-image. he’d often joke about being too much of a “top dog” to ever be anything else, a shield for this secret yearning
the very first time remus gently pushes him onto his back, sirius’ hands tremble from a mix of anticipation and nervousness. he doesn’t resist, but there’s be a split second of breath-holding, a silent question in his eyes like is this okay? will you still love me when i'm like this? (remus’ reassuring kiss and his soft “always” is the answer)
when remus is above him, making love to him slowly, their eyes meet, and sirius' are wide, dilated with pleasure. remus sees all the trust, the adoration, and it fuels every thrust. sirius might have to break eye contact occasionally because he’s overwhelmed, burying his face in remus' neck, but he always returns to it, needing to be seen
sirius, who craves attention and adoration in all forms, utterly melts when remus whispers things like “you're so good for me, baby”, or “god, you feel incredible”, especially when remus is deep inside him
and it's not just the words. it's the rumble of remus’ chest against his, the hot breath on his ear, the perfect timing. it hits a primal nerve
sirius makes the sounds he never knew he could make. gone are the cocky laughs and witty remarks; what escapes him are deep, guttural moans, soft whimpers, breathless gasps, sounds that he's never allowed anyone to hear
sirius as a bottom would find ways to exert a different kind of control. he might arch his hips violently, silently demanding more, deeper, faster. he might grab remus’ ass, pulling him down, kinda guiding remus to take him in the exact way he needs
sometimes, without a word, remus would gently pin sirius’ wrists above his head, holding them with one hand while the other roams. it’s just enough restraint to make sirius feel utterly helpless and utterly open
in the height of it, sirius isn’t able to articulate words. it’ll be a tight grip on remus’ back, a desperate arch of his hips, a frantic shake of his head against the pillow, or just a small sound that remus instantly understands as “more” or “don't stop”
i also think that for sirius, who spent so much of his life feeling empty or hollowed out by his family, the feeling of being completely filled by remus would be profoundly spiritual as well as physical
sirius discovers the exquisite sensitivity of his own skin with remus. every brush of remus’ stomach against his, every graze of hair, every drop of sweat, would be amplified. his nerve endings would be alight, making him very aware of his own body. he has never had such experience before
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