Monzanita

Monica - She/Her - 34 - Homesteader - Herbalist - Witch 🏳️‍🌈

[monzanita]

For Pride Month I broke up with my CisHet boyfriend because I realized he was too uncomfortable in queer spaces and I was uncomfortable having him around too.

[anxietyproblem]

[anxietyproblem]

[monzanita]

I had to evacuate my own house because my dumb ass let my teens buy Axe Body Spray

[monzanita]

Feeling sad as I have seemed to scared off all of my friends.

Some I couldn't spend time with without always thinking about my ex-wife.

Some I asked too many favors.

Some I didn't give enough favors, although they gave me few.

Some I didn't reach out enough during my seasonal depression and now that spring is here I'm getting brushed off.

Some I think are scared off because I started dating a man. It makes me wonder if we were ever friends or was I just someone they wanted to date. Others it's because he's too rough around the edges and doesn't fit in with the queerness easily. He tries but it's foreign to him. For that I wonder if a guy is worth losing friends over but also how good were those friends if it makes this a breaking point?

I have tried to find new friends but it's awkward and difficult. I know it will happen eventually but right now the sting of being lonely hurts.

[monzanita]

Tis the season of finding all my lost garlic

[monzanita]

I just want a house that makes sense to live in and doesn't have stupid appliances and amenities that just break. Like I can pay a lot of money to fix up my old mobile home or pay a lot of money to buy a new one and then still have to pay to fix everything that breaks in it. I would rather haul water from a well outside than worry about my dishwasher leaking or pipes bursting and rotting my floors. But people say I can't raise my kids like that.

[monzanita]

My dishwasher (2023) has been leaking. This led to me tearing up my floors (2021) and my entire life (1990)

[wetheurban]

Do more of what gives you peace.

[monzanita]

It's gardening, and my back and shoulders are killing me!

[monzanita]

When I started dating a woman, I had close female friend tell me she was disappointed that I never dated her.

When I started dating a man, a close male friend dropped off the face of the earth and doesn't interact with me at all anymore despite being neighbors.

[monzanita]

When I was with my ex-wife I was trying to figure out if I was bi or a lesbian. There was a questionnaire that asked if I would ever date a man again. At the time my answer was ew, no and enough of the other questions pointed me to labeling myself as a lesbian. I also knew that sexuality is a spectrum so although I wasn't as gay as my gold-star wife I could still fall under the category as lesbian. Now that I'm back to dating a man I realize that I chose a label with very limited information and I based it off of who I was in that relationship. I'm a different person now and can see myself better in a whole picture sort of way. I still feel gross about the fact that I took place in bi-erasure in myself. Although I tried to make sure I never invalidated any other bis.

[monzanita]

One kid added a Wifi extender and labeled it FBI Van #4653. The other kid shows it to me, visibly panicked.

[learndirt]

You can’t fix the whole world, but you can help your small patch of it to thrive.

[monzanita]

I just bought myself a tiny motorcycle (it's my size!) as a way to not spend as much on gas. Slightly in a frugal way, mostly in a fuck everyone profiting on oil way.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I can’t make pasta any more without mumbling to myself, “wet the drys… then dry the wets…”

[baggytrousers27]

[mumblingsage]

Wait, is this origin behind

[beardedmrbean]

[agam-shel-barvadim]

this post was written by Microsoft Excel

[beemovieerotica]

if you work in a creative field...or if you do creative hobbies like writing or drawing...you need to make friends with people who don't do those things. you need to befriend normie Steve who has never written a story in his life. and this is because when you are in a creative job or hobby and spend all your time doing that thing, surrounded by very capable people, who you inevitably compare your own progress and skills to, you forget what the baseline human skill at that thing is. and it's usually zero. normie Steve has not written a story since the 3rd grade when his teacher made him do it. he's very good at other things that are not storytelling - but if you tell normie Steve that you wrote a full 300-page book from start to finish, he will think you're some kind of savant. he does not know ANYONE else who has done this. you need this perspective. because when you're constantly on Let's Write Stories dot Com then everyone on Let's Write Stories dot Com will inevitably be like "oh of course everyone on earth has written a book or several at this point!" and you canNOT let yourself think that. that is not even close to the average human experience. you are in a bubble. do not put yourself down. do not give up.

[monzanita]

This is everything!!

City people think I'm either weird(which I still love) or amazing for having some animals and DIYing everything but other homesteaders think I'm trash for not doing everything as fancy as they do. I'm balling on a budget of nothing though