ya darn tootin

Whitney/20

[percyhoneybee]

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN

SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.

NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

[gender-euphowrya]

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES thanks for the tip karkat

[dwasylyshen]

My wife just did this and has been running around the house screaming “IM A FUCKING GODDESS”

[indie-idiosyncrasies-deactivate]

Its true, I have been.

[munroesplace-deactivated2015080]

I did it and it was great

[lickmetilllicecreammmm]

I love this

[hancarolyn]

Do u ever just wanna eat a loaf of bread

[chrisdoeslife]

Daily.

[donidarkowitz]

PSA for Skinny Girls.

[babygoatsandfriends]

[matvrity]

DYINGG

[thepositivecattitude]

Mother cat with kittens came to meet an old friend.

[star-anise]

I can’t believe we’ve already found the best animal video of 2016.

[glenn-griffon]

That is too adorable. You can tell the mother cat actually does trust the dog just by her body language. Typically a mother will watch her kittens closely and be very protective of them, here she completely trusts the dog to play gentle with them. This is just too damn cute.

[glyndarling]

When he bops the kitten and looks up at Mom to make sure he didn’t overstep!

[thesweetpianowritingdownmylife]

The dog is trying to make himself as non-threatening as possible!!

[moonburp]

OH MY GOD

[kittyvines]

*Kitty purrs*

[gunsounds-deactivated20170824]

its “thighs rubbing together under ya sundress” season

[cephalopodvictorious]

Buy cute, cheap lace leggings. Cut them a little above your knee. Hem them or don’t, but then you can wear them under your sundresses and not worry about how you sit or if your thighs chafe, and if anyone sees them they look cute af so hell yes

[gutsygumshoe-blog1]

Or a little deodorant between the thighs is magical

[bastillearda2018]

Also, LUSH sells this dust called Silky Underwear that makes your skin smooth so they don’t stick together or chafe.

[erdsthenerds]

I love that we’re all here for each other in this season of need

[threehourstonevada]

Monistat has an anti-chafing gel that works wonders and I live by. You can usually find it in the feminine care aisle of any drugstore. 

[sweeeettay-deactivated20210523]

There’s this stuff called Glide…pretty cheap & works hella miracles

[dynastylnoire]

I’m so ready for sundress season. 

[whenemmafallsinlove]

reblog to save a thigh

[auntiesuze]

I have a couple of pairs of thin knit bike shorts that I wear under dresses/skirts. I have known the heartbreak of chafing and NEVER AGAIN.

[mcbitchtits]

Gold Bond powder works too, but it can be messy. I found it a lot more effective than deodorant, especially if you’re sweating a lot (like working out).

[un-ptit-spleen]

I love girls

[musinvenusian]

I lost my Gold Bond D: I gotta get some more

[minions420]

I just had a Lana karaoke session in the shower it was great

[moonburp]

Omg I just got a bluetooth speaker and did the same thing this morning it's The Best

[weloveshortvideos]

[hara-kiri]

i’m junior

[whitegirlsaintshit]

he’s so sweet. he was really trying to close the pizza box correctly. junior is a nice kid and i am his biggest fan.

[twignewton]

me checking my bank account:

[r4dicl]

you can actually earn cash from this website from just answering some questions! i’ve been using this site for a few weeks already and usually make around $50 a day (the amount you earn depends on how many you fill out). just make sure you verify your email and you can choose if you want to get paid through amazon gift cards or by paypal!

[matvrity]

Guys!! i actually got paid from them! i started doing this a few days ago and i was sketched out but it’s legit. i just open up the website and fill out their questions while i’m on tumblr!

[xandriij-deactivated20161017]

#growingupugly when you get anxiety walking past guys because you can feel the roast of your life coming

[actualdogvines]

tough guy

[okayilubuhbye-deactivated201611]

Bless you, MusicalHoe.

[greyscalesound]

If nothing else, this gives me a list of shit to buy my girl lol

[atasteoflee]

Okay but this is helpful

[fistofthenorthstar]

Hey guys, one of my coworkers has been going through a really rough few months, she’s a good friend of mine and could really use some support. Both of her parents have just passed away, and on top of that her family home has also been destroyed. I definitely would appreciate if anybody could share this and donate anything to help her out.

[fistofthenorthstar]

If y'all could reblog this/donate/tag others to help boost, that’d be amazing, I really want to use tumblr to try and help out a friend of mine who could really use some support right now. @beaglefreaks @hominidiot @chasewithani @mobilesuitgundam79 @paultoombes @iqwrestler @dismembered-dreams @kawiwi @brujitabug @jazzbuggie @moonburp @hellotiffykitty @webs-we-weave @it-was-real-horrorshow @sin-sex-satan @sixpenceee @headabovewater1989 @e-j-m-d @ethanbaileyy @onl1nesongs @literallythecutestgirlever

[awwdorables]

Guilty dog desperately asks for forgiveness

[twinkwolf]

GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE

[kardashy]

its impossible to watch this and be sad

[d0gbl0g]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[greetings-deactivated2015-01-23]

OMG IM MELTING

[weloveshortvideos]

when all your friends go out and don’t invite you

[meoshaa0001]

IM SCREAMING LMAAAAO