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A heatwave cartoon for New Scientist.

reading a historical romance novel and reflecting on the way these stories often present woke nobility for the contemporary reader. a big thing is servants. you can’t not have servants in those times but many modern readers think “but I would never have servants. it would be so weird to have servants” and in order to make the protagonists of the story more relatable they are actually friends with the servants. but flip your perspective and think of it from the side of the servants. wouldn’t it be so awful if your boss was always trying to be friends with you. a really common thing you’ll see is the woke baronet having tea in the kitchen with the servants bc he’s not like other baronets. but what if your boss wanted to hang out and talk during your lunch break every day. not so charming when you think about it that way

ariaste

#okay but now what is the optimal way to be a good boss in this situation i genuinely wanna know#its easy to guess what makes a bad boss or a mid boss. but what is a good boss#specifically in such a highly structured hierarchal situation (via @rainbowroach)

HELLO you are asking questions that literature and poetry THROUGHOUT the middle ages has asked, and it is from this questioning that we derive things like the Codes of Chivalry (which is not "how to treat a noble lady really nice" but is actually "how to be an ethical person when you're rich and you own a horse" and includes such things as "don't run people over with your horse")

In fact I daresay you already know instinctively just from cultural osmosis what a good boss -- a good liege lord -- is and does based on the tropes that have survived to the current day and the kinds of things that get Hugely Praised in things like legends of King Arthur.

A good boss (liege lord) is:

Merciful. He is not having his peasants killed for things like poaching rabbits during a famine. In fact, he is working to mitigate famine. During times of individual hardship, he might negotiate with a peasant for a payment plan on their annual rent.

Patient. He is not impulsive, he does not lose his temper.

Prudent. He makes choices that are thoughtful, considered, conservative (in the sense of not needlessly risky--he's not investing his entire fortune in having everyone plant an unproven crop). He is making sure local infrastructure like roads and public buildings are maintained and kept in good nick.

Gentle. He doesn't haul off and slap a servant or a tenant for breaking a dish or making a mistake. He doesn't abuse animals, his wife or children, or his employees. He doesn't rape the servants.

Generous (both in money and in spirit). He is not extorting the peasants for an amount of rent that is beyond their means, he is not raising taxes every year to cover his own lavish lifestyle. He is paying his servants a living wage (or, if wages are low, he's giving them room/board/clothing to make up the difference). If someone in a tenant's family dies, the lord is sending a gift of condolence, or helping to pay for the funeral, or possibly even ATTENDING the funeral and speaking a few kind words about the deceased, ESPECIALLY if they were a really upstanding and important member of the community. If one of his tenants is gravely sick, the lord is sending a basket of food or paying for a doctor. He is giving charitably (generally this will be, like, a bequest to the church so that they can run a hospital or an orphanage or a school for the local village children).

Pious. This classically means "goes to church, submits with humility to God" but to me this quality is subtextually standing in for "maintaining an ongoing sense of Perspective that HE'S not god, that there are higher powers he is Accountable to, that he too can be Judged, etc, so that he doesn't end up going on a weird fucked up power trip"

Humble. One of the most admiring things you hear about a lord doing in literature and epic poetry is, "He ate off of wooden plates while his followers ate off of gold and silver." Humility isn't about being meek, it's just about not thinking so much of yourself that you turn your nose up and sneer at what "lesser" people do. In other words: Don't be a fucking diva. If your carriage gets stuck in the mud, climb out and help everybody else push, you're not gonna die from getting mud on your shoes.

Condescending. This word has changed wildly in meaning/tone over the last couple centuries -- it's now a rude thing to do (because we've done away with legal social hierarchies, so someone acting like they're lowering themselves to your level IS insulting), but in older times, a high-ranking person "condescending" to a servant was worthy of praise and admiration: it means they were setting aside rank and privilege to speak to them with the easygoing, friendly respect and compassion they'd give a peer. This is things like... Treats those beneath him with courtesy and respect (ie: listens soberly and attentively when one of his servants or tenants comes to complain about a problem). Having a sense of humor and kindness about it when the lord and a servant both come around a corner at the same time and run into each other and the servant gets knocked to the ground and starts babbling apologies--the condescending (positive) lord helps them to their feet with his own hands and cracks a joke to show them that it's ok (as opposed to just walking off without a word or insulting/scolding them). This is also things like trusting a farmer, woodcutter, or artisan to speak with expertise about their own livelihood and taking their advice into consideration if they tell the lord that one of his ideas won't work.

Good boundaries. The ethical liege lord knows that it's normal for the staff to probably be softly bitching about him in private (even with a really good boss, we all grumble from time to time). He's not eavesdropping on them, he's not going into the staff areas where they should reasonably expect to have a degree of privacy, etc.

Righteous and protective of "the weak". The "weak" here doesn't necessarily mean physically weak, this is often used in the sense of someone politically or socially weak, aka The Marginalized -- the poor, the disabled, women, children, the elderly, etc. If a lord sees someone like this being mistreated or abused, he's supposed to step in and put a stop to that.

Committed to reciprocity. In a highly hierarchical system like feudalism, every person (from the lowest peasant all the way up to the crown prince) legally OWES their liege lord certain things (taxes, labor, service, loyalty, etc). A good liege remembers and takes very seriously the idea that this should be a balanced and reciprocal relationship -- in other words, he owes something BACK. Feudalism is modeled very strongly on the family system: If children owe their parents obedience and service, then parents owe their children care and protection. This still applies when the "child" is a farmer and the "parent" is a local baron. Or when the "child" is a duke and the "parent" is the king.

Basically, we get so caught up in the aesthetics of nobility that we forget that it literally is a managerial position that comes with responsibilities that were... very similar back in the day to the same ones we have now. Humans have not changed all that much. At the end of the day, a really good boss in the 1400s versus in one from the 2020s displays most of the same qualities of personality, even if the details of execution are different.

The next question is, of course, "well, but this theoretical liege lord is HIGHLY idealized -- how often did that actually HAPPEN? Wasn't it more likely that everyone was exploited all the time?" and to that I say: Well, maybe. But again, I don't think humans have changed all that much. Just like the bosses of today, there's a SPECTRUM: A really really good boss is rare and precious and one that you tell stories about for years after you've left that job, but a truly, genuinely, homicidally nightmarish boss is also pretty rare. Most bosses are sort of meh -- they have their good moments, they have their shitty moments, but they're tolerable and you can get along with them well enough to do your job, and then you roll your eyes at them behind their back. Generally, humans don't take outright exploitation lying down. Being a bad boss in the historical period is how you get peasant uprisings and revolts, and you know that to be true because your parents raised you with that knowledge, so unless you are very stupid or inbred or an egomaniac, there is literal personal incentive to at minimum be a Tolerable liege lord. And that means hitting at least SOME of the above bullet points.

TL;DR: In the words of Honore de Balzac, "Everything I have just told you can be summarized by an old word: noblesse oblige!"

(for more discussions of the ethics of fealty and what it means to be a good boss when you are an exquisitely beautiful twink of a prince with a hot beefy bodyguard.... [fingerguns] read A Taste of Gold and Iron)

wes-mstr

Yesterday, on 2.07.2026, approximately at 2:20 AM a russian missile exploded right next to my flat.

I woke up with glass shards all around me and a door from another room that collided with mine, almost barricading me inside the room. Every window and door in the apartment was blown out by the explosion. My family's car burned to the crisp. The entrance door of the flat was stuck and people have spent 40 minutes trying to break it open with hammers and axes.

Despite great material damage, miraculously, me and my family wasn't injured. Even my laptop and drawing tablet have somehow survived, despite being left right by the window. And, thankfully, I have another place to go to, where I'll be living full-time from now on.

The only thing I want to tell you guys, remember that Russia is a terrorist state. That night dozens of people have died and even more got injured or lost their every possession. I was lucky to only suffer material losses. Attacks like this one have been happening since 2014 on the east side of Ukraine and for four years now all over the country and will continue. Our UNESCO protected landmarks are being destroyed and whole cities are being wiped out by missiles and drones.

Please, be mindful and avoid supporting russian organisations, and don't spread misinformation about the war. This is very important, because info war is just as much of a real part of the war as physical destruction is. If you have the means to, donate to Ukrainian volunteers. Support those who are dear to you.

But even after that life goes on. I still have to collect all of my paperwork for the graduation and applying for uni. People will be going back to work and meeting with friends.

neko-mancy

just saw a "only one bed" fic with the major character death warning

dontbreakthechain

#i guess that's one way to solve that problem

idabbleincrazy

“This bed ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

polteergeistt

homoqueerjewhobbit

You've been isekai'd to Ankh Morpork, how's it going?

I'm thriving

I'm surviving

This is not ideal

If I can skip town, I think I'd do great in another part of The Disc

My body has been thrown in/on The River Ankh and will sink in 7-10 business days

Voting ended onJul 6

thethirdromana

The worst types of cookbook:

The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.

The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...

The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.

The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).

The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!

The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...

The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).

The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.

thethirdromana

#the overachiever: make this very time consuming ingredient from scratch even though it'll end up tasting worse than store bought

Amen to this @akasanata. "Now make your puff pastry from scratch". How about no❤️

caffeinatedowlbear

The octopus: Cook a thing in a pot while stirring continuously. In the meantime, peel and chop...

byjove

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

cryoverkiltmilk

The spiritual successor to Miette

manicgoblinnightmarewoman

Might I also add

shydestinybread

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

unyanizedcatboys

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

explorerrowan

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

dualclock

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

Can haz snackytreat

(source)

Source

#the ancient texts

... My reblog was only six years ago!

the-real-seebs

my cat ning has a specific meow to communicate "i recognize that you have told me not to do this thing, i guess i am reluctantly complying, but i waaaaaaaaaant to"

lilithsaintcrow

"This week I discovered the same pattern, executed by Google. Google Chrome is reaching into users' machines and writing a 4 GB on-device AI model file to disk without asking."

Google Chrome is downloading a 4 GB Gemini Nano model onto users' machines without consent, with no opt-in, no opt-out short of enterprise t

spockvarietyhour

Google Chrome automatically installs local neural network components on user systems via default configurations. The browser downloads a 4GB

Procedures for disabling it

vamptits

they want you to make fried rice

memser

who is "they"

vamptits

the wok left

solongandthanksforallthefish42

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

6qubed

skillet issue

forcearama

I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS BOOK FOREVER BYE

(from William Shakespeare’s The Tragedy of the Sith’s Revenge: Star Wars Part The Third)

bob-artist

Crimetober 1-9

Because birds are criminals.

bob-artist

Crimetober 10-21

When will they be held accountable

bob-artist

Crimetober 22-31

Justice will never be served.

bob-artist

My Birds are Criminals zine is debuting at TCAF this weekend!

Find it at the Screen Tones Podcast table 244, June 6-7! I won't be there, but a bunch of the gang will be, so say hi and check out their work too.

There are only 20 copies!

gaycism

rockpapertheodore

thelongestway

But also, fucking whiplash. Made it through the chapter, looked into the news...

Wow. Fucking. Lukyanivka, KSE, Zavertaylo and the Chornobyl Museum in one night. And that's just the places I have personal links to in my home city.

For fuck's sake.

This was the Chornobyl Museum, btw.

UPD: Okay, wow. Hinaus, Zhitniy market, the Shevchenko Literature Institute, the National Art Museum, the Kyiv Small Opera too, holy hell. I suppose our enemies think all of our thinking and military planning is done in cultural institutions. Motherfuckers.

(Also hm, I can see the tower at the museum's still standing, so this is an interesting angle for a shot, I think? Or I am shit at recognizing my own city from above; that's also an option.)

foone

Important rules for the "age verification" era of the internet that we're living in:

1. Do not do age verification.

2. If you have to do age verification, cheat. Do not under any circumstances give them your real ID.

very-gay-alkyrion

The tool presents users with a 3D model they can then manipulate to, the creator says, bypass Discord's age verification system.

Oh no I dropped my link, what a horrible thing! Sure hope this doesn't get reblogged until it reaches users from the UK and Brazil!

And remember to not make a second account just to test out what works best when verifying your identity

asksanguinius40k

A reminder that we still dont support Age Verification bullshit.

flower-crowns-and-combat-boots

Paywall removed here

hungrymilliek

Aaand here's the link to the project's Github.

A verified tool that works on any potato computer that will let you bypass discord verification - promptpirate-x/discord-id-bypass-tool

victusinveritas

animentality

justisdevan

Seeking Doorman

Interviewer: So, how are your core competencies?

Candidate: Bad. I have at least once slipped up.

The interviewer's eyebrows raise, and he marks something down on his clipboard.

Interviewer: Are you aware that this job requires being on your feet for several hours a day?

Candidate: No.

Interviewer: Please state the weight of clothing that you would be unable to wear, for the duration of a 12 hour shift.

Candidate: I couldn't handle 50 pounds.

Interviewer: Oh no, no, I can set your mind at ease. We're well funded. The helmets are a little bulky, but the shirt is chain. The whole ensemble is maybe, oh, 15 pounds. Nobody ever attacks, anyway.

Candidate: That's a shame.

The interviewer gives the candidate a strange look. Then he lets out a brief aspiration, nods quietly, and returns to the clipboard.

Interviewer: Work well on a team of two?

Candidate: I have fewer than ten years of experience of doing so.

Interviewer: And what were you doing before this?

Candidate: I wasn't one of two henchmen for a warlord, one of whom was tall and skinny and the other short and fat, that's for sure.

The interviewer studies the candidate's physique for a moment, trying to determine from a seated position whether this neither-skinny-nor-fat guy is tall.

Candidate: I was the fat one.

Interviewer: You understand that you'd have to rein in the repartee for this role, yes?

Candidate: I refuse to do this.

Interviewer: Can you be a little clearer?

Candidate: I will speak out of turn.

Interviewer: Perfect. Really all I needed. Well, seems like the serum is working great, no signs of allergy, so as far as I'm concerned, you can start today. Any questions for me?

The candidate shifts in his seat, and clears his throat.

Candidate: What if they ask me if there's a God?

The interview frowns at his clipboard. He hasn't been interviewing for this role for very long, and his predecessor didn't leave very good notes. He clears his throat.

Candidate: What if they ask me what the other guy wouldn't say, if they asked him the meaning of life? Or if they ask me if they should get married to each other, if it's a couple?

The interviewer interjects, still rifling through his notes.

Interviewer: We almost never get couples.

Candidate: What if they ask me whether good or evil is greater on balance, or whether there is greater beauty in the sunset or sunrise, or how best to live?

Interviewer: Oh come on. That last one's easy. Just tell them to drink cyanide every morning, or to burn down their own house every night.

Candidate: The gap between is and ought is so easily crossed.

Interviewer: Oh, I don't know. Just tell them you know the answer.

As he says this, the interviewer finds the place in his notes that says that this role must not demur in such a way.

Interviewer: Scratch that. Come on, man. They won't ask any of that. They'll ask about the doors. They know you're not, like, an oracle.

Candidate: I didn't go to oracle school.

The interviewer and candidate exchange a look, as if to say to each other, well of course you're here, then, applying for this might as well be minimum wage role in the middle of nowhere, because both know the job prospects for a typical graduate of oracle school.

Interviewer: Oh, actually, it's right here. The first time a question is off topic, you're supposed to be silent. The second time a booming voice will warn them to stay on topic. The third time you still aren't supposed to answer, but it counts as their question and they have to guess with no information.

Candidate: Great. Sorry for the trouble.

Interviewer: Oh come on, don't be like that. Do you want the job or not?

Candidate: No.

They shake hands, and the candidate reports to his post that very day. A band of adventurers arrives not long after.

"One of these guards always tells the truth," a voice booms out to greet them, "and the other..."

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