Seriously, don't do it.

Meredith, she/her, too goddamn old

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

[hyrude]

eddie, has just left his wife and moved to la on a manic impulse, absolutely shitfaced and realizing the gravity of his decisions over the past 48 hours: i make a huge batch of chickpeas every sunday night to meal prep lunch for the week and i eat chickpea salad on mondays and wednesdays and chickpea curry on tuesdays and chickpea/quinoa bowls on thursdays and every friday the firm goes out for lunch and i order chickpea risotto. but i dont even like chickpeas! i hate them! i hate everything about chickpeas and ive been eating them five days a week for 10 years because the only thing i know how to do right is make myself miserable!

richie, who mistakenly agreed to be designated driver: …is this a metaphor? are chickpeas pussy?

eddie: it’s not a metaphor! i hate chickpeas, the legume! i hate everything to do with garbonzo beans!

richie, woeful: well, you like hummus.

eddie: i don’t like hummus, richie! nobody likes hummus! you just like pita or hard little crusty garlic breads and you tolerate the hummus because the only way you can justify eating carbs is by using them as a vessel for low-calorie protein! and maybe if you close your eyes and only let it hit the roof of your mouth and you don’t chew long enough to taste it, you can pretend you dipped your cracker in cheese, and you can almost imagine it’s a nacho, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re eating something that reviles you from the deepest, basest part of your soul!

richie, trying to piece together the veiled meaning but too scared to ask if this means myra pegged him:

eddie: i made my uber driver go through a drive-through on the way to the airport and i took one bite of an oreo mcflurry and broke down sobbing!

richie: you blew your uber driver?

eddie: IT’S NOT A FUCKING METAPHOR

[lastflowerofyourhouse]

harrow's relationship with gideon's name is insane to me. like she hardly ever says it. she almost never actually says gideon's name, and when she does it's usually a big deal. the first time of course being her shouting "gideon! gideon!" after the avulsion trial, a rare display of open attachment and concern. the other that stands out is when her last words in harrow the ninth, for all intents and purposes, are gideon's name, even though she doesn't even know what she's saying. i don't think harrow ever once says it lightly, without really truly meaning something by it. but the rest of the time? the rest of the time she calls her "griddle." which is transparently babytalk. fucking insane that harrow's mean annoying nickname for gideon is just. just her struggle to pronounce it as a toddler. how perplexingly cruel and vulnerable is that. parroting your own babytalk at someone. you have always been stuck with me and you always will. you will never escape our shared childhood. i am as fundamental to you as you are to me. your name was one of the first i ever tried to say. i have been asking for your attention for our entire lives. i have been calling to you since before i could form the syllables. gid-oh! gid-oh! gid-oh!

[cloudabserk]

i still can’t believe it. the season finale is an hour-long dinner party taking place entirely in lestat’s dying fevered mind while his decapitated head sits in bowling bag. and every minor character takes turns whining and making catty remarks. with intermittent cuts to louis being cruelly gruesomely tortured by armand. who had no screentime until the finale when it is revealed he’s been evilly masterminding louis’s torment from behind a curtain all season. like you have to laugh.

[lonelyroommp3]

and so javert you see it’s true this man bears no more guilt than you. who am i?

[theslowesthnery]

🥹🥹🥹

[mizuthe-cat]

I wish I had this hat

[the-burrow-and-its-critters]

Forget me not.

[dontbreakthechain]

People keep posting that it's unfair to criticize tvl because only two episodes are out. I would like to explain to them that this entire season will be seven episodes. 2/7 = 0.2857etc ≈ 30%. Not a lot, to be sure, but we're already closer to half way than to the beginning. Someone sarcastically said that they'll be leaving all movies 20 minutes in now. That only makes sense if you assume all movies are about an hour long. I want to explain this to them but I made a solemn promise to myself not to get into fights on the internet so I'm explaining it here instead and not tagging.

[dontbreakthechain]

It’s genuinely hilarious that the whole season is out. They haven’t stopped. Now it’s unfair to criticize anything until season 4 is finished.

[neverniko101]

who up perceiving and reacting to stimulus

[neverniko101]

That is. a great username. The first thing I saw upon opening tumblr. Thank you.

[i-welded-ur-genitals-shut]

Woah. They weren’t kidding organisms will perceive and react to stimulus.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

I just need a beautiful woman to tell me that my bizarre imitation of human social skills is alluring and sexy

[cloudabserk]

“armand was so in character” “you just don’t get armand” “biblically accurate armand” when all the actors literally said they don’t understand it either…

[dragongirlbunny]

there is nothing a corporation hates more than having employees, but a close second is having to provide a good or service in order to make money. these two reasons concisely explain is why the ai bubble formed in the first place.

[oodlyenough]

a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.

[penandinkprincess]

truly few things instantly put me in a bad mood more than humidity

WHY is the fucking AIR out here TOUCHING ME

get OFF

[liv-on-neptune]

kaneeka <3

[ritualday]

we're getting closer to 2030 and what are we supposed to do then. that's not a number for a year to be