MossTheInflatableCow

A tribute to nerd things, mostly cosmere, Tolkien, and Harry Potter.

[wifehaver103947]

imagine cloth mother and wire mother in family court competing for custody of the baby monkey

[clothmotherofficial]

I Have Softness For You

[officialwiremother]

i have milk for you

[babymonkeyofficial]

Stop.

[kingsolomonofficial]

Cut the baby monkey in half

[stonesense]

i understand why the ‘grizzled loner who slowly melts & improves their outlook on life when forced to take care of a kid’ trope is a male exclusive role, bc the optics of a grizzled loner woman healing by becoming a mother are maybe not so good, but every time i think abt a hypothetical female version of that trope i black out instantly. could we maybe just do it one time and all agree to be cool about it

[petrichorandozone]

previous tags and their very valid point:

[natequarter]

[#no no this is totally doable #you just have to make sure she stays grizzled #and has the same like #awkward none of this comes naturally thing #where it goes bad is if shes Suddenly A Warm And Immediately Nurturing Fixed Human #instead of a collection of busted parts going #ah fuck i guess im all you have #so i guess I do my best]

[venhediss]

everyone reblogging this should watch moribito guardian of the spirit

[mosstheinflatablecow]

Seriously, watch Moribito. Read the books. Absolutely the peak of this trope with a woman

[bonkersbats]

I keep forgetting about this account! Here’s some Beetle as an apology

[mosstheinflatablecow]

Why is this marked as mature content?

[yawn-emoji]

[mosstheinflatablecow]

Alright, Fonda Lee, I'll keep you updated if I ever decide to forgive you.

[mosstheinflatablecow]

The Sage of Twin Stars

[mosstheinflatablecow]

I did some touch-ups and honestly think it looks way better, so here you go.

[mosstheinflatablecow]

The Sage of Twin Stars

[moghedien]

I am also guilty of having done this but we all really gotta stop informing new readers about “the slog” and especially of pointing out which books are supposedly a part of it.

Telling new readers “yeah these are the books that are bad” is largely a terrible idea and kills excitement they may have. there isn’t even a consistent list of which books are “the slog.” Literally the only book consistently on every list is CoT

We really gotta keep discussions of the slog to like rereads and people who have finished the series and not try to “warn” new readers, because it actually isn’t helpful. It’s just making them hesitant to finish the series and dread getting to certain books that they don’t even know anything about. I’ve regretted literally every time I’ve mentioned it to someone who wasn’t finished with the series

[mosstheinflatablecow]

As someone who read the books for the first time around two years ago, hard agree. When I was in book 3, I mentioned to a friend that my favorites at the time were Perrin and Moirraine, the friend told me Perrin ends up being a terrible character not worth investing in during the slog. And here's the thing: I didn't like some of the handling of his plot line in the middle section, but I never stopped liking him as a character. All them telling me that actually accomplished is that it made me less invested in him during one of his biggest moments in the series, in The Shadow Rising.

And you know what? There are some slow parts in the middle of the series, like in most book series. But one of my favorite moments in all the books is the ending of Winter's Heart, in the depths of "the slog". I blasted through The Path of Daggers in a day. I think I like most of the slog (CoT aside) more than I like EotW.

But part of why it took me until I was 27 to start reading them is people kept telling me, in a 14 book series, 4-5 of the books were slow and boring. And then they started telling me specific things not to invest in (like Perrin) when I did start reading. It was terrible. It was unhelpful. It hindered my reading and enjoyment of the books.

Things I do tell new readers: Rand becomes not only more interesting than he starts off but one of the most interesting and well-developed characters in all of fantasy. EotW is more or less a retelling of LotR on purpose and then it develops into something so different while still being filled with deep lore and expansive worldbuilding. This series, even beyond Rand who is like a beacon of this, has some of the most believable and best slow-burn character development I have ever read and it's a treat to be on that journey with the Emond's Field five.

If it's a cosmere nerd who's really into the worldbuilding, lore, and overarching story, I'll sometimes even tell them to be on the lookout for evidence of the world being post-apocalyptic and having modern-day references and futuristic ones.

What I don't do: warn them that a third of the series is boring, for heaven's sake.

[moghedien]

please know that every single time I post about Siuan and Moiraine I am talking about them in a romantic context and if you mention those other two men on that post I will literally fight you with my bare hands ignore you

[mosstheinflatablecow]

It genuinely took me a few minutes to even dredge up who Siuan's male love interest was.

[todaysbird]

shout-out to the drab water-tyrant who was robbed of the most badass bird name by whatever jerk put ‘drab’ in front

you aren’t drab little buddy!! don’t let the bastards get you down

[mosstheinflatablecow]

But who did he give his biochromatic breath to?

[gothdolphin-deactivated20190409]

me: how do churches deal with gluten at communion

first response on a catholic forum:

[hvlthgxth-deactivated20241124]

The Roman Catholic church is the only Christian faith with any mettle.

[hvlthgxth-deactivated20241124]

It’s not bread. It’s Jesus, dipshit. Next question.

[regrettablyjake]

It’s jesus, but also jesus’ body activates Celiac’s

[apocalyptic-cake-deactivated202]

Listen up!

You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled

Hit that.

Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern

Yes.

Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in

Tumblr will follow up and help them.

Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!

This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.

And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.

You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.

This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.

[gyrsaker365]

This isn’t some ‘oh yeah sure it could’.

This could legitimately do so.

Don’t you dare fucking scroll past.

[obscureoldguy]

This is good stuff to know!

[shallanspren]

I (M 54) told my sons how their mother really died and now my eldest son (24) is acting out. AITA?

My first wife (we’ll call her E) died when my eldest son (A) was 12. He and his mother were very close and I think he takes after her a great deal. For years he and his brother thought that their mother was assassinated by political rivals, but that’s not true. Truth is, I accidentally burned her to death when I was committing genocide on the political rivals we were supposed to make fall in line.

I felt so guilty about what happened that I moved my kids out of their childhood home and moved into my brother’s palace to get away from my wife’s memory. I also developed a habit of abusing alcohol, and didn’t really pay that much attention to my kids as they grew up. Eventually I went to the Nightwatcher and she erased all memories of my wife. After that I was finally able to become a better person.

Well recently I got all my memories back of E, and it helped me stand up to this evil god, and now I’m writing a book about my war crimes and how badly I treated my first wife. Before I released some of the early drafts, I had someone read my sons the account of how E died. They were understandably upset. My younger son ® has been reasonable, and understands that I was under the influence of an evil god when I killed E. A has been acting like a spoiled teenager.

He no longer follows the codes of war and keeps buying ridiculous clothes (he bought GOLD trimmed boots!) and ignores my criticisms. He doesn’t seem to want to be around me and values his wife’s opinions more. A seems to now resent me for the high expectations I have always had for him, and doesn’t think much about my views on morality.

I also don’t really like his wife because I think she’s a bad influence on him and I think he might know that. (She talks back to authority figures and is mentally ill.) A is even mad that I left his wedding early to go work on my war crime book.

A doesn’t seem to care that he has also let me down. Not only did he kill a political rival who has tried to kill me and him many times (and killed thousands of our soldiers), but he’s still not a Knight Radiant. I think we’ve both done wrong here, but he refuses to see my side, or have any kind of real conversation with me. I feel really bad about E, but that’s in the past, I’m a better man now, and am finally married to the only woman I ever truly loved (A’s aunt). I just want to move past this and be a family again, but A is being stubborn. So AITA?

[bridgefourisgayrights-deactivat]

Hey Stormlighties,

Tired of whitewashing in the Stormlight fandom? Tired of hearing one of the same prewritten responses?

try out this bingo!

Yes, I have heard each one of these at least once!

(special thanks to @fithragaer for the addition on the second–bottom right)

(also tagging @phendorana and @kingjasnah cuz they both talk about this a lot too and they might like it)

[mosstheinflatablecow]

In great frustration with fanart I said, "How hard is it really to draw Kaladin Asian?" A recognizable Kal, recognizably Asian, having not drawn him in 4ish years, with 2 min spent looking up the brands. 6 minutes. It is really not so very difficult. I may actually truly loose my mind.

[worldwithinworld]

I’m ready to see Dalinar’s next next step.

[mosstheinflatablecow]

Dalinar in OB: I will accept responsibility for what I have done.

Adolin: k I don't feel very comfortable with the fact that you killed my mom and I'm going to participate in the innocuous rebellion of embroidering my clothes.

Dalinar: You WHAT. YOU WERE NEVER LIKE THIS BEFORE YOU MARRIED SHALLAN

Adolin: It's not Shallan. You killing my mom has impacted my view of you.

Dalinar: IT'S SHALLAN'S FAULT

[odd-dragon]

Full disclosure... personally I didn't feel super betrayed when Moash killed Elhokar bc that's what he'd set out to do since the beginning so it made sense to me. Like, I was still sad, especially since Elhokar was swearing the first ideal, but it worked in a terrible way... but now? Killing innocents? Taunting and blaming Kaladin for his own actions? Wtf Moash? You're on thin ice buddy.

[mosstheinflatablecow]

Seriously, Elhokar's death was gutwrenching, especially after seeing him try to be better and grow as a leader and almost swear an oath, and with the fact that he was holding his toddler son. At the same time, Moash's motivation still made sense and he was literally part of a group invading and taking over Kholinar, so of course it would be expected that he kill the king if he had a chance. That whole scene brings a flurry of emotions, but the more I reflected on it, the more I was not angry specifically at Moash for it. I landed at feeling terrible for Kal and Gav, more than anything.

But his treatment of Kaladin in RoW was horrendous and I still do not feel okay about it.

[guarded-by-morningstar]

Chouta

This past weekend was my birthday celebration, and in my family, the tradition is that the birthday person gets to pick whatever dinner they want. So we made our own rendition of that famous herdazian street food, chouta. Let me tell you... It was amazing. It turned out so much better than I was expecting and I was just flying by the seat of my pants. So, here are the recipes I created if anyone else would like to try. I will warn up front, that it was a bit labor intensive, as street food tends to be when making them at home. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Meatballs

1 lbs Ground Pork*

1 lbs Ground Turkey*

1 medium shallot, minced

2-4 cloves garlic, minced

1 tbs fresh thyme, minced

1 egg

¼ cup Panko

1/3 cup cooked and cooled barley

1 tbs soy sauce

Salt & Pepper to taste

Mix all. Form into ping-pong sized balls. Heat deep fryer to 350℉. Cook meatballs in batches, 5-7 minutes, until internal temperature reaches 165℉.

*Pork and turkey can be substituted with same amount of ground/finely minced, raw shrimp (no egg required) for a “cremling” variation. Coat shrimp balls generously in corn starch before frying.

*Use extra firm tofu, patted dry and crumbled for a vegan/soulcast option. Be especially careful lowering tofu balls into the deep fryer as they are especially delicate and want to break apart.

Chouta Gravy

Neutral oil

¼ cup flour

2-3 celery stalks, diced

2-3 carrots, diced

1 medium onion, diced

2-3 cloves garlic, minced

1 tbs fresh thyme (4-6 sprigs)

2 cups stock*

2 tbs dark soy sauce, optional

Salt, pepper, chili flakes, msg (to taste)

In a large, heavy bottomed sauce pan, add ¼ oil over medium high heat. Whisk flour constantly until roux is medium brown because I am a coward(you can go darker if you want). Add veg and sauté for a few minutes. Add garlic and thyme, stir until fragrant. Add stock, stirring to make sure no clumps form. Bring to a simmer and reduce heat. Add seasonings (use more pepper than you think you need). Simmer 20 minutes stirring occasionally, until veg is completely soft. Smash with a potato masher or stick blender to desired consistency. Taste for seasoning before serving.

*As far as I can tell, any stock is quite tasty in this, but seafood stock seems especially appropriate for Rosharan food.

Spiced Lavis

1 cup pearl barley

2 tbs olive oil

2 stalks celery, chopped

1 green pepper, chopped

1 medium onion, chopped

2-3 cloves garlic, minced

1 tsp toasted and ground cumin

4-6 sprigs fresh thyme

2 cups stock

½ tbs pepper

Cayenne pepper and salt to taste

Toast cumin in a dry pan, grind and set aside. Toast barley in oil. Set aside. Sauté veg until softened and onions are starting to turn a little brown. Add everything to the pan, bring up to a simmer. Cover tightly, reduce heat. Simmer for 30 minutes, undisturbed.* Check for doneness. Remove thyme sprigs. Use 1/3 cup as the cooked barley in the uncooked chouta meatballs.

*Alternatively, bake in 375℉ oven for same amount of time.

Serve with pita bread. Pickled red onions are also a welcome addition.