[cristalplanetheart]

😳

[savethewailes]

Let! That! Baby! Eat!!!!!!

[adelphicoracle]

Perfect tags

[i-cant-carry-it-for-you]

[transfemininomenon]

absolutely LOST in the sauce

[everythingfox]

Suction cup boi

(via)

[jumpingjacktrash]

he flatten

[butch-of-the-blades]

“Scully, you’re not gonna believe this”

[paramar]

The Animals - House of the Rising Sun (1964)

Silver Jews - New Orleans (1994)

wdhmbt’s tumblr post (undated)

[mesopelagos]

there are at least three houses in new orleans

[solarsyrup]

[winonaparadise]

i see a curved penis and i want to fix that shit. it's not that it's gross i just bet an hour in a bench vice would make that shit shoot straight. i wanna comically spin the handle and wrench it tight with the skill of a shop teacher that's been doing this for years. safety goggles on. heavy duty gloves. op! be careful of the clenching back there. that's how Ms. Paradise lost a pinky in college.

[winonaparadise]

I suppose this exposes my ignorance and inexperience. I suggest we normalize the use of the penis vice so that we can curve and straighten cocks to our own unique tastes. They can be 3D printed with an aposable skeleton so that they can be curved. I have included a mockup down below.

[transhumanisticpanspermia]

op i regret to inform you that the curve is so inherent that it persists even when you flip it inside out, turn it into a vagina, and stick a ramrod straight dilator into it for 30 minutes 4 times per day for several months.

(they don't usually give you an MRI 4 months after bottom surgery, i just happened to need one for unrelated reasons)

[winonaparadise]

girl why is your pussy trying to take me on the road less traveled. fucking that thing i hear google maps say "exit left." trying to hit your spot but your pussy said that's not part of the guided tour. your shit is so twisted the people's joker took it to her doctor saying "like this please." I KNOW she WILL be comin around the mountain when she comes! i always wanted a girl who turned heads, but this is ridiculous!!!

[fullmetalfisting]

I know that “fwiw” means “for what it’s worth.” I know that. But every time I read it, my brain translates it to “fwom what I wemembew”

[elmyraerased]

[blignick]

Weighing foster kittens..they understood the assignment..🐈🐾😍

[alex51324]

the kitties long for the weighing tub

[fairycosmos]

IDK it pisses me off the way people act like murderers are some sort of great puzzle to be solved when 90% of the time its literally just a boring freak that hates women

[aslutsdiiiary]

Me this weekend

[bish0ps]

Remember when you could look things up online. Do you remember how we used to search

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[wordfather]

[redpandarascal]

[woman-respecter]

suburban women on september 15 1967 tuning in to star trek and seeing fuck-or-die mode spock getting in a sweaty man fight with captain kirk in amok time

[segamascott]

[cumdumpstiel]

so cool how advanced the algorithm has become, it literally only takes like a decade or more of spying on all my internet activity and then it can expertly curate a selection of 15-20 youtube videos that i don't really want to watch, and then keep showing me those videos over and over again for a week so i can scroll past them again. the future is now

[wifegideonnav]

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

[twiststreet]