Marsyas' Dick

I am literally just a onesie of soft-boiled eggs.

[motherfucking-columns]

"BEWARE THE IDE-

a of March" Julius Caesar is told. It’s true, it is an infuriating month and has the Senate at the end of their wits. They can’t wait for spring. They want to frolic. Brutus just got a new swimsuit.

[smbc-comics]

[crustybustation]

It’s fine, they’re all friends of Dorothy

[brucebocchi]

sorry to post facebook videos on main but the sound of jello going through an industrial shredder is both mesmerizing and horrible

[rustystars]

I finally finished my quiz! how gullible are you?

[jedthewolfdog]

ah yes. i too am a big fan of the mcelroys

[identity-of-design]

156 Americans tried to draw 10 famous logos from memory.

[gamelycan]

Things about this post

-everybody forgot target only has 2 red circles

-some people are drawing legitimate local variations of the logos

-some people are drawing older legitimate versions of the logos

[largishcat]

-the burger king logo is better

[kittensnax]

Can we please fucking talk about how the only person who drew the Target logo correctly did it in yellow and said it was Walmart’s logo

[mwagneto]

when you're scrolling through tumblr and you suddenly think of something to post or Google or whatever but you keep scrolling coz you can't stop and then you realise oh shit I forgot what i was gonna do so you have to scroll back to where you were when the thought™ occured even if the post was completely unrelated because doing this somehow magically summons your memories

[veryotl]

I’m only halfway through this video and I stopped just to make this so I could implore you all to please make this the New Hot Meme

[skinnykooked]

“Hello and welcome to my Tumblr. Here you probably won’t find any basic info about me like my name or what I usually like to do, but you absolutely will find all my deepest darkest secrets and emotions along with my body measurements”

[fuck-philip-banks]

the wise man at the nudist beach, when discovered by an acquaintance, covers not his dick but his face

[swaglexander-the-great]

i feel like diogenes fucking ghostwrote that last bit

[36epm]

Shoutout to Percy Jackson for being a kids book that straight up murdered the abusive step dad instead of doing some bullshit redemption arc where they have to forgive him

[sapphicblackbeard]

Welcome, the three of you, to the Bureau of Balance. 

[abby-howard]

SORRY FOR THE VERY PERSONAL COMIC!!

This is my half of “Unhealthy”, an essay comic double header with the lovely and talented Sarah Winifred Searle. She and I both wrote about our personal experiences as overweight ladies with eating disorders, and her story is breathtaking! You can buy a physical copy of the book here: https://topatoco.com/collections/abby-howard/products/ah-unhealthy

Or buy a digital PDF here: https://abbyhoward.itch.io/unhealthy

[nchntd]

In the club

[septic-aye]

I made a BDG Unraveled Random Title Generator!

And Tumblr is hiding it from the tags when I link it, so I’m gonna reblog this with the link :)

[septic-aye]

BDG Unraveled Title Random Generator by fortwas

1600 combinations!

enjoy! :)

[coltre]

goodnight to all the ones who never receive a goodnight

[danieljlayton-deactivated202002]

…I usually don’t reblog this kind of thing, but…for some reason, this really hit me.

[probablymetarpgideas]

Let those who feel unloved rest easy, i see you, and i care

[eternalgirlscout]

brian david gilbert is really living the ultimate post-grad english major dream by doing ridiculous amounts of research to make goofy lectures delivering complex points about absolute bullshit and i admire and envy him

[turing-tested]

plato’s allegory of the rave

[laurasauras]

imagine all you’ve ever known is a rave. the lights are down, the music’s pumping, people of indeterminate identity are pressing against other people, someone has a whistle and it’s vaguely in time with the music and several people have just made the life changing discovery that the stuff from glow sticks can come out of glow sticks and can be flung crowd-ward with extreme prejudice. the rave is life and the rave is you.

but then a broseph (let’s call him plato, just because it’s my name, it’s not about me, i’m just making this easier for you to follow) leaves the rave.

the streets outside are quiet and for the first time plato can see that there are colours that aren’t actively attempting to burn your eyes out, he can hear sounds, he can hear talking! people can communicate outside of the rave! 

there’s street meat, there’s a taxi rank with a girl contemplating whether it’s more painful to stand in her high heels or on the pavement with indeterminate shrapnel, there’s streetlights casting light on a whole new world. and plato knows he needs to share the knowledge of this world with the ravers.

he returns to the rave, but the music that was once his lifeblood is deafening and the lights are both too dark and too bright at the same time and he’s forgotten how to communicate with ravers. he tries to tell them of everything he learned, but they’re not ready to know. they want him to leave. 

plato thinks to himself, you know what, they’re all bitches anyway, i’m gonna make myself a new society, only for people who can appreciate the world as a whole. also, no artists. i fucking hate artists.