BERTIE CARVEL as BAELOR "BREAKSPEAR" TARGARYEN A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, 1.03 // The Squire
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@mothmandalorian
BERTIE CARVEL as BAELOR "BREAKSPEAR" TARGARYEN A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, 1.03 // The Squire
blah blah blah... proper name, place name, backstory stuff ā”
THE PITT 2.08: 2:00 P.M.
It's Just Dinner
Hello and welcome to my very first fic! This was inspired by a āJoel Miller x doesnāt know youāre datingā writing prompt. Iād hit the writerās block wall pretty hard on another project but was encouraged to get some practice in by doing this. Iām so glad I did. This was really fun for me to write and I hope you have just as much fun reading it. And letās face it, now that season 2 is out I think we all need to see this man happy.Ā
Huge HUGE thank you to the incomparable @djarins-cyare for lovingly forcing me to write this, being my beta reader, AND making the gorgeous header!
A quick note: This is mostly canon-compliant with TLOU with one very glaring exception: Joel doesnāt go golfing. This takes place after Joelās talk with Ellie on the porch. My man can be traumatized but he will be breathing.Ā
No use of Y/N. Reader is female but there are no physical descriptions other than words like āprettyā (and yes, that does describe you if youāre reading this, I donāt make the rules).Ā
Tags: The Last of Us, Joel Miller, Joel Miller x f!reader, fluff, angst, fluff and angst, my precious traumatized Joel is just kind of an idiot sometimes, give the old man time heāāl figure it out, gratuitous mention of flannel shirts Word count: 2148
- - - - - - - - -
Itās not that you arenāt grateful to have a house in Jackson.Ā
When youād first arrived hereāafter a horde of infected had attacked your group and youād become its only survivorāyouād been under the impression it wasnāt even possible to have a house anymore. Maria handing you those keys had felt like a fever dream.Ā
Youāre insanely grateful to have a house in Jackson.
But after the third consecutive leak in your bathroom sink, youāve just about had it with houses.
āMy brother Joel and his kiddo will be livinā right across the street from ya. If ya need anything fixed, go bug him. He needs the socialization,ā Tommy had said when he and Maria had helped you move in. You think they knew youād be needing the socialization, too. A week of wandering the forest and convincing yourself that starving to death might actually be the least awful way to die out of all of your options will do that to you.Ā
Youāve seen Joel coming in and out of his house, taking note that he doesnāt do it nearly as often as your other neighbors do. He largely keeps to himself, aside from the young woman who appears to live in a makeshift apartment behind the property, who you assume is the kid Tommy had referred to. Youāve been too intimidated to walk over there yet. He isnāt nearly as approachable as the other people here, but then again, neither are you. Youāre still a bit jumpy after a few too many dreams about gnawing teeth and endless forest. But when your bathroom floods for the third time, you get over it.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
To say that Joel isnāt used to visitors is an understatement.
Heād had another night of fitful sleep. Even though theyāve slightly improved since moving to Jackson, heās convinced heāll never be rid of the nightmares. He has even more reasons for them now, after all.
His relationship with Ellie is barely getting off the ground again, but heāll take what he can get. After their talk on the porch, at least she isnāt completely ignoring him anymore.
He still dreams of sheep being stolen in the night, hearing their cries from afar as he tries and fails to find them. The endless pit of regret grows and grows in his stomach until his eyes open and his heart is racing. Usually, he has to look around the room, count the number of panes in the windows, squeeze and release his fingers and toesāanything to help him remember where he is.Ā
Today, the knock at his door serves as a much quicker method. Grumbling but unable to not check it, he rolls out of bed and tosses the nearest shirt on. Eyes still bleary, he opens his front door. He blinks a few times, making sure heās seeing it right. There you are, the pretty new neighbor, standing on his porch first thing on a Thursday.
āCan I help ya?āĀ
It comes out almost mumbled, his Texas drawl heavier in the morning.Ā
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Oh, shit.Ā
You must have woken him up.
āIām uhāgod, Iām so sorry. Hi. I live, uh, over thereā¦ā
āAcross the street, yeah?ā Joel saves you, seemingly choosing to have mercy on you while your mouth stutters open and closed like a fish.Ā
āYeah! That gray one. Iām um, Iām new here.ā
āOnly a coupleāa weeks, right?ā Joel asks, eyebrow quirking. He leans against the doorway with his arm above his head, and for a split second, you completely forget why you came over here.Ā
āYup. Fresh off theā¦forest.ā Oh, god. Really?
Joel chuckles, and you nearly want to thank him for it.
āI take it my brother told you to come bug me if somethinā was off in your house, yeah?āĀ
You nod, trying not to make it any worse.
āIāll come by later this afternoon.ā
- - - - - - - - - - - -
He keeps his word, and you make him dinner as payment.
He tries to refuse, but you insist, handing him a plate of the best-smelling food heās had in years.Ā
āYou canāt refuse. My house, my rules. Eat.ā
He nods and obliges. Itās clear he isnāt used to this. What youād originally thought was a coldness in his eyes looks a lot more like sadness this close, and you wonder if thatās why he doesnāt let people get close often. You donāt bring it up.
āI havenāt had someone else to cook for in years. And Iāve never had a proper kitchen to do it in. This is very exciting for me.ā
Joel chuckles, a little bit of life briefly lighting up his face.Ā
āDonāt mind beinā your test subject,ā he says. āThank you, maāam.ā
āOh god, ew. Please do not call me that, it makes me feel eighty years old.ā Joel breaks into a full-body laugh. You catch a hint of surprise in his eyes before he settles into it, and you wonder how long itās been since heās gotten to laugh like that.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
He keeps coming back for dinner long after the sink is repaired. He always finds something in your house to fix, but you still always end the evening eating dinner together. Joel is surprisingly funny, his laugh lines well-earned. You learn that he worked as a contractor with his brother for over a decade before the outbreak, and he tells you stories about some of the strangest things he found in peopleās drains. He tells you a lot of stories. None of them go beyond a certain depth. You donāt push it.
Because you want him to keep coming back. Because you desperately like him.
You frequently get distracted by the way his shoulders shake when he laughs, how he rubs his chin when heās thinking, the gray hair growing in at his temples.Ā
Theyāre so distracting that you start to tell him things about you. He catches you off guard, and suddenly, youāre being vulnerable.Ā
He listens. He doesnāt share a whole lot about himself, but boy, does he listen. He doesnāt try to placate you with the same sappy bullshit everyone else tries to give you. He doesnāt do a lot of comforting at all. Itās downright refreshing.
You think that, at some level, he knows how it feels to be pitied, and it probably makes his skin crawl, too.Ā
You think thatās why your relationship works so well.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
This time, youāve come over to his house bearing a pot full of something that smells heavenly.Ā
Joel watches closely as you take the cover off of it.Ā
āChili,ā you say proudly. āYou said you grew up in Texas and ate stuff like this, right?ā
His crooked, boyish smile makes all that effort crushing tomatoes and chopping onions worth it.
Ellie, who up until this point has simply been a person you know exists because you see her going in and out of her little apartment in the backyard, walks down the stairs, her hair wet from an apparent shower.
āI knew someone else made that. Nothing heās ever cooked has smelled that good,ā she says as she walks into the kitchen.Ā
āYou wanna have some?ā you ask. āI made plenty.ā
Ellie looks at Joel.
āYou havenāt even introduced us, and sheās offering me homemade food. This is finally the treatment I deserve,ā she declares.
You chuckle.
āI like her, Joel,ā Ellieās sing-songy voice echoes as she walks out the door.Ā
Joel runs his hand through his hair.
āYour kid is funny,ā you comment casually. āShe must get that from you.ā
He doesnāt correct you.
- - - - - - - - - - -
He knows heās fucked up by the look in your eyes.
He doesnāt mean to hurt your feelings, he just wasnāt expectingā¦this.Ā
After dinner, as he stands up to start doing the dishes, you walk over to him and put your hands on each of his cheeks before tilting up your head and trying to bring your mouth to his.Ā
When he physically recoils, it really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that no one has tried to kiss him in years.
But you donāt know that.Ā
You curl in on yourself as you walkāmore like scurryāout of his house. He hates every second of it, most of that hate directed at himself.
- - - - - - - - - - -
When Tommy opens his front door, seeing a shell-shocked Joel on his doorstep, he assumes the worst.Ā
āThatās it?ā Tommy asks Joel when he explains the situation, trying to hold back a chuckle.Ā
āWhat do you mean, āthatās itā?ā Joel snaps his eyes back up from the floor.Ā
āYour girlfriend tried to kiss you. It aināt exactly news,ā Tommy shrugs.
Joel feels like heās been stabbed in the gut.
āMyāmy what?ā
āYour girlfriend, Joel.ā
There it is again, that feeling in his chest. The rising panic. The bile coming up from his stomach and scratching the back of his throat. The sweat in his palms. He stops talking for a solid minute.
āPlease tell me youāre kidding.ā Tommy chuckles incredulously.
If Joel thinks about it hard enough, maybe the floor will open up and swallow him whole.
āWhat happened?ā Mariaās voice floats in from the hallway before she walks into the kitchen.
āJoelās lil girlfriend tried to kiss him, and he freaked out and scared the poor thing off.ā
Maria laughs. āNo kidding? I told you sheād be the one to try first,ā she says unceremoniously, giving Tommy a pointed look.
āYeah, yeah, I owe you two loadsāa laundry.āĀ
Joel wonders if he can vanish into thin air if he just concentrates on it really hard.
āBut itās justā¦dinner.āĀ
Tommy groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. āDo not say that to the poor girl.ā
Maria pretends to look at a nonexistent watch on her wrist. āBy my math, youāve got about twenty minutes to apologize before she rightfully never talks to you again,ā she advises.Ā
Joel thinks back to all the times youāve spent together. The way you pay attention to which foods he likes. Your insistence on standing closer and closer to him. The way you light up when you look at him. How has he been this stupid?Ā
Even the way Ellie had talked about you earlier shouldāve clued him in: I like her, Joel.Ā
āDid everyone know but me?ā Joel asks, sounding pained.Ā
Maria and Tommy nod, a slight cringe on each of their faces.
āShit, I gotta go.ā
āGo get āem, tiger!ā Tommy yells out the door behind him. Joel rolls his eyes and wonders if theyāre already placing bets on how it will go.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Itās your turn to be surprised by a knock at the door.
You desperately try to wipe the tears from your face, but itās no use. Joel gets to see you in your full, heartbroken glory.Ā
Heās fidgeting as he follows you into the living room, his hands clenching and unclenching. He takes a deep breath. āYou may have picked up that Iām a little stupid when it comes toā¦this kinda thing.ā
Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. What kinda āthingā?Ā
āI aināt had anyoneā¦interested in a long time. I think I forgot it was possible.ā
He looks down at his hands, then back up at you. Wait, is he serious? Thereās no way heās just now realizing that youāre interested.
āIām sorry, darlinā.ā
Joel approaches you slowly, his hands out as if in surrender, until heās just a foot away. You can tell that his mouth is moving and that heās probably saying words, but hell if you know what they are. What is he talking about? Why is he acting like this? Youāve been dating for weeks. Right?
āHoney, you hearinā me?ā You snap back when his thumb brushes your chin. His hand is gently resting on the back of your head, the other around at the small of your back.Ā
āY-yeahāsorryāwhat?ā
āI asked ya if we can try that again.ā
Youāve barely finished nodding when his lips touch yours. His flannel shirt smells like the laundry you imagine hanging from a line across the backyard of your shared home. You picture coffee in the mornings on the porch, getting a dog together, what kind of wedding dress you can find in an apocalypse, how it feels when he wraps his arm around you in bed on cold morningsā¦
You donāt even realize youāve moved your hands to grab at the front of his shirt until he pulls away, an infuriatingly smug chuckle coming out of him.
āI aināt gonna float away, sweetheart.āĀ
You relax your grip a little but donāt move your hands entirely.Ā
āSoā¦does this mean we can keep havinā dinner?ā He asks, the usual sadness in his eyes replaced by something softer.Ā
āYeah, Joel. We can keep having dinner.ā
You tug him in by his shirt to kiss him again. Heās not about to complain.
Okay, I know this is my Din blog and this is a Joel fic, but itās written by my wonderful friend Brit and I want to share it with as many people as possible because itās fucking amazing and so is she!
So please enjoy the cutest Joel fluff (which I know is sorely needed after recent canon events š), and show @mothmandalorian some well-deserved love š
š¤š„¹š¤š„¹š¤š„¹š¤
It's Just Dinner
Hello and welcome to my very first fic! This was inspired by a āJoel Miller x doesnāt know youāre datingā writing prompt. Iād hit the writerās block wall pretty hard on another project but was encouraged to get some practice in by doing this. Iām so glad I did. This was really fun for me to write and I hope you have just as much fun reading it. And letās face it, now that season 2 is out I think we all need to see this man happy.Ā
Huge HUGE thank you to the incomparable @djarins-cyare for lovingly forcing me to write this, being my beta reader, AND making the gorgeous header!
A quick note: This is mostly canon-compliant with TLOU with one very glaring exception: Joel doesnāt go golfing. This takes place after Joelās talk with Ellie on the porch. My man can be traumatized but he will be breathing.Ā
No use of Y/N. Reader is female but there are no physical descriptions other than words like āprettyā (and yes, that does describe you if youāre reading this, I donāt make the rules).Ā
Tags: The Last of Us, Joel Miller, Joel Miller x f!reader, fluff, angst, fluff and angst, my precious traumatized Joel is just kind of an idiot sometimes, give the old man time heāāl figure it out, gratuitous mention of flannel shirts Word count: 2148
- - - - - - - - -
Itās not that you arenāt grateful to have a house in Jackson.Ā
When youād first arrived hereāafter a horde of infected had attacked your group and youād become its only survivorāyouād been under the impression it wasnāt even possible to have a house anymore. Maria handing you those keys had felt like a fever dream.Ā
Youāre insanely grateful to have a house in Jackson.
But after the third consecutive leak in your bathroom sink, youāve just about had it with houses.
āMy brother Joel and his kiddo will be livinā right across the street from ya. If ya need anything fixed, go bug him. He needs the socialization,ā Tommy had said when he and Maria had helped you move in. You think they knew youād be needing the socialization, too. A week of wandering the forest and convincing yourself that starving to death might actually be the least awful way to die out of all of your options will do that to you.Ā
Youāve seen Joel coming in and out of his house, taking note that he doesnāt do it nearly as often as your other neighbors do. He largely keeps to himself, aside from the young woman who appears to live in a makeshift apartment behind the property, who you assume is the kid Tommy had referred to. Youāve been too intimidated to walk over there yet. He isnāt nearly as approachable as the other people here, but then again, neither are you. Youāre still a bit jumpy after a few too many dreams about gnawing teeth and endless forest. But when your bathroom floods for the third time, you get over it.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
To say that Joel isnāt used to visitors is an understatement.
Heād had another night of fitful sleep. Even though theyāve slightly improved since moving to Jackson, heās convinced heāll never be rid of the nightmares. He has even more reasons for them now, after all.
His relationship with Ellie is barely getting off the ground again, but heāll take what he can get. After their talk on the porch, at least she isnāt completely ignoring him anymore.
He still dreams of sheep being stolen in the night, hearing their cries from afar as he tries and fails to find them. The endless pit of regret grows and grows in his stomach until his eyes open and his heart is racing. Usually, he has to look around the room, count the number of panes in the windows, squeeze and release his fingers and toesāanything to help him remember where he is.Ā
Today, the knock at his door serves as a much quicker method. Grumbling but unable to not check it, he rolls out of bed and tosses the nearest shirt on. Eyes still bleary, he opens his front door. He blinks a few times, making sure heās seeing it right. There you are, the pretty new neighbor, standing on his porch first thing on a Thursday.
āCan I help ya?āĀ
It comes out almost mumbled, his Texas drawl heavier in the morning.Ā
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Oh, shit.Ā
You must have woken him up.
āIām uhāgod, Iām so sorry. Hi. I live, uh, over thereā¦ā
āAcross the street, yeah?ā Joel saves you, seemingly choosing to have mercy on you while your mouth stutters open and closed like a fish.Ā
āYeah! That gray one. Iām um, Iām new here.ā
āOnly a coupleāa weeks, right?ā Joel asks, eyebrow quirking. He leans against the doorway with his arm above his head, and for a split second, you completely forget why you came over here.Ā
āYup. Fresh off theā¦forest.ā Oh, god. Really?
Joel chuckles, and you nearly want to thank him for it.
āI take it my brother told you to come bug me if somethinā was off in your house, yeah?āĀ
You nod, trying not to make it any worse.
āIāll come by later this afternoon.ā
- - - - - - - - - - - -
He keeps his word, and you make him dinner as payment.
He tries to refuse, but you insist, handing him a plate of the best-smelling food heās had in years.Ā
āYou canāt refuse. My house, my rules. Eat.ā
He nods and obliges. Itās clear he isnāt used to this. What youād originally thought was a coldness in his eyes looks a lot more like sadness this close, and you wonder if thatās why he doesnāt let people get close often. You donāt bring it up.
āI havenāt had someone else to cook for in years. And Iāve never had a proper kitchen to do it in. This is very exciting for me.ā
Joel chuckles, a little bit of life briefly lighting up his face.Ā
āDonāt mind beinā your test subject,ā he says. āThank you, maāam.ā
āOh god, ew. Please do not call me that, it makes me feel eighty years old.ā Joel breaks into a full-body laugh. You catch a hint of surprise in his eyes before he settles into it, and you wonder how long itās been since heās gotten to laugh like that.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
He keeps coming back for dinner long after the sink is repaired. He always finds something in your house to fix, but you still always end the evening eating dinner together. Joel is surprisingly funny, his laugh lines well-earned. You learn that he worked as a contractor with his brother for over a decade before the outbreak, and he tells you stories about some of the strangest things he found in peopleās drains. He tells you a lot of stories. None of them go beyond a certain depth. You donāt push it.
Because you want him to keep coming back. Because you desperately like him.
You frequently get distracted by the way his shoulders shake when he laughs, how he rubs his chin when heās thinking, the gray hair growing in at his temples.Ā
Theyāre so distracting that you start to tell him things about you. He catches you off guard, and suddenly, youāre being vulnerable.Ā
He listens. He doesnāt share a whole lot about himself, but boy, does he listen. He doesnāt try to placate you with the same sappy bullshit everyone else tries to give you. He doesnāt do a lot of comforting at all. Itās downright refreshing.
You think that, at some level, he knows how it feels to be pitied, and it probably makes his skin crawl, too.Ā
You think thatās why your relationship works so well.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
This time, youāve come over to his house bearing a pot full of something that smells heavenly.Ā
Joel watches closely as you take the cover off of it.Ā
āChili,ā you say proudly. āYou said you grew up in Texas and ate stuff like this, right?ā
His crooked, boyish smile makes all that effort crushing tomatoes and chopping onions worth it.
Ellie, who up until this point has simply been a person you know exists because you see her going in and out of her little apartment in the backyard, walks down the stairs, her hair wet from an apparent shower.
āI knew someone else made that. Nothing heās ever cooked has smelled that good,ā she says as she walks into the kitchen.Ā
āYou wanna have some?ā you ask. āI made plenty.ā
Ellie looks at Joel.
āYou havenāt even introduced us, and sheās offering me homemade food. This is finally the treatment I deserve,ā she declares.
You chuckle.
āI like her, Joel,ā Ellieās sing-songy voice echoes as she walks out the door.Ā
Joel runs his hand through his hair.
āYour kid is funny,ā you comment casually. āShe must get that from you.ā
He doesnāt correct you.
- - - - - - - - - - -
He knows heās fucked up by the look in your eyes.
He doesnāt mean to hurt your feelings, he just wasnāt expectingā¦this.Ā
After dinner, as he stands up to start doing the dishes, you walk over to him and put your hands on each of his cheeks before tilting up your head and trying to bring your mouth to his.Ā
When he physically recoils, it really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that no one has tried to kiss him in years.
But you donāt know that.Ā
You curl in on yourself as you walkāmore like scurryāout of his house. He hates every second of it, most of that hate directed at himself.
- - - - - - - - - - -
When Tommy opens his front door, seeing a shell-shocked Joel on his doorstep, he assumes the worst.Ā
āThatās it?ā Tommy asks Joel when he explains the situation, trying to hold back a chuckle.Ā
āWhat do you mean, āthatās itā?ā Joel snaps his eyes back up from the floor.Ā
āYour girlfriend tried to kiss you. It aināt exactly news,ā Tommy shrugs.
Joel feels like heās been stabbed in the gut.
āMyāmy what?ā
āYour girlfriend, Joel.ā
There it is again, that feeling in his chest. The rising panic. The bile coming up from his stomach and scratching the back of his throat. The sweat in his palms. He stops talking for a solid minute.
āPlease tell me youāre kidding.ā Tommy chuckles incredulously.
If Joel thinks about it hard enough, maybe the floor will open up and swallow him whole.
āWhat happened?ā Mariaās voice floats in from the hallway before she walks into the kitchen.
āJoelās lil girlfriend tried to kiss him, and he freaked out and scared the poor thing off.ā
Maria laughs. āNo kidding? I told you sheād be the one to try first,ā she says unceremoniously, giving Tommy a pointed look.
āYeah, yeah, I owe you two loadsāa laundry.āĀ
Joel wonders if he can vanish into thin air if he just concentrates on it really hard.
āBut itās justā¦dinner.āĀ
Tommy groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. āDo not say that to the poor girl.ā
Maria pretends to look at a nonexistent watch on her wrist. āBy my math, youāve got about twenty minutes to apologize before she rightfully never talks to you again,ā she advises.Ā
Joel thinks back to all the times youāve spent together. The way you pay attention to which foods he likes. Your insistence on standing closer and closer to him. The way you light up when you look at him. How has he been this stupid?Ā
Even the way Ellie had talked about you earlier shouldāve clued him in: I like her, Joel.Ā
āDid everyone know but me?ā Joel asks, sounding pained.Ā
Maria and Tommy nod, a slight cringe on each of their faces.
āShit, I gotta go.ā
āGo get āem, tiger!ā Tommy yells out the door behind him. Joel rolls his eyes and wonders if theyāre already placing bets on how it will go.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Itās your turn to be surprised by a knock at the door.
You desperately try to wipe the tears from your face, but itās no use. Joel gets to see you in your full, heartbroken glory.Ā
Heās fidgeting as he follows you into the living room, his hands clenching and unclenching. He takes a deep breath. āYou may have picked up that Iām a little stupid when it comes toā¦this kinda thing.ā
Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. What kinda āthingā?Ā
āI aināt had anyoneā¦interested in a long time. I think I forgot it was possible.ā
He looks down at his hands, then back up at you. Wait, is he serious? Thereās no way heās just now realizing that youāre interested.
āIām sorry, darlinā.ā
Joel approaches you slowly, his hands out as if in surrender, until heās just a foot away. You can tell that his mouth is moving and that heās probably saying words, but hell if you know what they are. What is he talking about? Why is he acting like this? Youāve been dating for weeks. Right?
āHoney, you hearinā me?ā You snap back when his thumb brushes your chin. His hand is gently resting on the back of your head, the other around at the small of your back.Ā
āY-yeahāsorryāwhat?ā
āI asked ya if we can try that again.ā
Youāve barely finished nodding when his lips touch yours. His flannel shirt smells like the laundry you imagine hanging from a line across the backyard of your shared home. You picture coffee in the mornings on the porch, getting a dog together, what kind of wedding dress you can find in an apocalypse, how it feels when he wraps his arm around you in bed on cold morningsā¦
You donāt even realize youāve moved your hands to grab at the front of his shirt until he pulls away, an infuriatingly smug chuckle coming out of him.
āI aināt gonna float away, sweetheart.āĀ
You relax your grip a little but donāt move your hands entirely.Ā
āSoā¦does this mean we can keep havinā dinner?ā He asks, the usual sadness in his eyes replaced by something softer.Ā
āYeah, Joel. We can keep having dinner.ā
You tug him in by his shirt to kiss him again. Heās not about to complain.
Happy Easter GOT & HOTD Style!
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good luck, babe! - chappell roan
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Exclusive Behind The Scenes Gif of Pedro doing Airpods promo:
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General Acacius + that hood š
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My GIF masterlist
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Note: his part was only few minutes maybe 2 minutes and i hate them for that
walton goggins with chicken
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She was kind and clever, with a gentle heart and a sweet wit (currently reading ASOIAF)
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they should have kissed here I mean what who said that