[senatortedcruz]

I am in fucking tears

[dogpuppy]

[guelwaar]

im always up at ass o clock doing god knows what

[amazoogle]

tuesday status?

[cognitohazardous]

yup. its tuesday 👍

[amazoogle]

copy. tuesday confirmed ✅ engaging tuesday protocol

[amazoogle]

it's Tuesday all day today and there's no known way to prevent this

[sforzzz]

it's totally ok to dislike things. right?

[sforzzz]

i have to go delete some posts

[corantus]

locked the fuck in get my money up

[mechanical-empress]

in the pale moonlight I stand lone and bloodied. I look sick as fuck and you wish you were me

[weaselknievel]

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

[dogpuppy]

[haughtyraban]

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

[orthoscheme]

supermarkets should have benches

[orthoscheme]

everywhere should have benches

[milanesa42]

“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”

[fwizard]

I’m getting threatening scam emails from author john green

[wav48k]

at the jfk museum. this place is kind of objectively funny as hell i think

[wav48k]

"i love your earrings" thanks! its where jfk got shot

[wav48k]

you can . you can hit him. w? In the head.

[punkrorschach]

[patheticperipatetic]

No, I don't think that's the one I'm--

[bewbin]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats