Untitled

[pukicho]

My miracle remedial solution will kill you instantly

[kawffey]

Is it painless at least? What are the side effects?

[pukicho]

It’s so fucking painful, it hurts sooo fucking much jesus christ

[mrjeeepers]

As it should be Can't leave this mortal plain without a fucking scream to the damned gods

[the-tree-line]

wtf nobody told me there was a shrimp species named sexy shrimp

[the-tree-line]

most sexual beast in the ocean

[the-tree-line]

that wasn;t the file i clicked

[pukicho]

If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise 

[luteyandthemermaid]

i beg to differ 

[pukicho]

Then Beg

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

[fedkaczynski]

What’s funny is that this actually happened. 

[allamericankindofguy-actual]

I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

[fedkaczynski]

Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis. 

[ethereal-insight-deactivated201]

Did he survive?

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

[doctor-roman]

His name was Aimo Koivunen if you want to look him up

[misteryada]

Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed

[apocalypticvalraven]

Those are the eyes of a man whose meth trip never quite wore off.

[kingantlion-deactivated20231130]

Make this a movie now

[mrjeeepers]

Those are the eyes of a man who has seen God and laughed is a line so rawww and it comes from a post about a soldier on steroids

[mrjeeepers]

You https://saved-this-for-later.tumblr.com/post/181848185277

[daily-bad-jokes]

I, for one, like Roman numerals.

[hannahismyharto]

Bro this isn’t a bad joke it’s really well thought out

[siriuslymoony4yall]

I just saw the rawest line in the comments section for a 1975 song

I was an atheist until you spoke. Now I'm on my knees worshiping the sound of your voice. Heaven exists, but only when you let me in.

how in the holy hell do ppl come up w/ such raw lines like wtf

here the link btw: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3JJxS0gNkE

[mrjeeepers]

#

[mrjeeepers]

I had sex with a demon which looked like cleopatra but

a bit shorter....she was huntung me till I realised it was

too scary to be real then turned around and had sex

with her and some random figures popped and said "

he shouldn't be allowed to stay here too long"before

getting slapped out of my own dream

[mrjeeepers]

I had sex with a demon which looked like cleopatra but

a bit shorter....she was huntung me till I realised it was

too scary to be real then turned around and had sex

with her and some random figures popped and said "

he shouldn't be allowed to stay here too long"before

getting slapped out of my own dream

[pukicho]

Gentle reminder not to eat too much candy before bed.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no

[pukicho]

This was a gentle reminder, yet your words of defiance brings me ungodly amounts of rage

[nezumionice]

word*

[pukicho]

I want nothing more than to uppercut you directly to heaven’s front door.

[rose-coloured-angel]

Bold of you to assume heaven would take a heathen like me

[mrjeeepers]

#

[mrjeeepers]

#

[constant-diablerie]

any noun can become a verb if you don’t care enough

[yupokaysuremhm]

This point is invalid unless you use an example in your sentence

[constant-diablerie]

I CAN SENTENCE HOW I WANT THANK

[yupokaysuremhm]

BEAUTIFUL

[fellowfeline]

you see thats why i love english

[ailithnight]

I like to velociraptor around my house at 2 in the morning.

[constant-diablerie]

GOOD

[standing-in-peace]

My headache makes me want to clothesline into a wall

[edelvicess]

why do these make some semblance of sense 😨

[roseverdict]

Because brains don’t brain logically

[couldbeglorious]

Brains do brain logically! But when english doesn’t logic englishly, brain brains by itself to logic that english !

[blog-493629846]

met a dumb ass today, awful

[ultrawebcomics]

You looked in a mirror?

[blog-493629846]

someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful

[mrjeeepers]

God cannot be merciful cause his sins outweigh our own