James was nervous as he saw Lily's front yard from his car. He had promised himself he would do this. It was a good step of becoming the adult he was supposed to be from now on.
Seeing his precious Lily sad and scared during these past days broke James's heart. And all he wanted to do was make things easier for them. He wanted to see her happy.
James turned off the engine and saw his friend next to him. Sirius had that aura of unimportance. The boy was handsome and young. Anyone would look at Sirius and want to be young and free like he seemed. The pick of youth all adults talked about.
"Sirius! I told you not to smoke in my car. You know how the smell makes Lily sick"
Sirius sighed with annoyance. He took the fag back.
"Fine! I'll smoke outside"
"Violet is going to see you!" James protested "She's going to complain about the flowers. She loves her flowers"
"Fine, Mr. Bossy!" Sirius dropped his head back "Calm down. You look like you're about to shit your pants"
Sometimes Sirius reminded James of how young they actually were and how scary the future actually was.
"Do you want me to go in there with you?" Sirius added "Violet loves me. Remember how I flirted with her that one time and she got really red?"
"That was because she was getting drunk and alcohol makes her face red. Lily told me that"
Sirius grinned "You're just jealous that she likes me better than you. Especially now that she hates you"
"Violet does not hate me!" James snapped. Then sighed "I'll be right back. I only brought you for moral support"
James liked to believe Lily's mum liked him. He had given a good impression the first time they met at Petunia's wedding. He was extra nice and attentive when James visited. He helped with heavy lifting, reaching things that were too high, chopping vegetables for dinner, and washing the dishes. James had bought the best kind of flowers for Violet because she liked plants a lot. And he made her laugh with his jokes but always in a polite way.
James had wanted to prove he was the perfect boyfriend for her daughter. Above all of that, James knew Violet and him could never get along like Lily got along with his parents. There was always some kind of resistance.
Now, the woman surely thought the worst of him. Lily didn't know he was here but he wanted to make things better.
James walked to the door, trying to comb his hair and ignoring Sirius's comments about how it was still a mess.
Violet opened the door a few seconds later James rang the bell.
James gave her his best smile but he could tell she was disappointed to see him.
"James" she said "What are you doing here? Is Lily okay? Is she with you?"
"She's perfect" James nodded "I was actually hoping we could have a talk"
Violet seemed reluctant at first but she seemed to change her mind when she took a deep breath and exhaled.
"Of course, darling" James was relieved when she opened the door for him to get in "Come in"
James was a bit nervous as he stepped in.
"Isn't your friend coming?"
He saw Sirius waving, smiling and winking at Lily's mother from the car. Charming as always.
"Oh! Sirius has errands to do, Violet" James explained "Is just me and you"
Violet shrugged and closed the door.
"Is Petunia here?" James asked with a swallow.
"No" Violet crossed her arms "I'm here alone"
James nodded. He was glad Petunia wasn't around. She would make things complicated. She obviously lived with her husband now but Lily told him how much Petunia liked to visit her mum.
James smiled. He didn't like tea much but it was good for a chat.
"Sure" he said "I'd love it"
James followed Violet to the kitchen like a lost puppy. The woman began to move quickly around the kitchen, filling up the kettle and setting everything up.
"Please take a seat" Violet pointed to the tiny breakfast table in the corner.
"Don't you want help with tea?"
"Honestly, James. I'd like you to tell me why you're here" Violet gave him a cheeky smile "Did Lily put you up to this?"
James giggled nervously. "No. She doesn't know I'm here" he took a seat slowly.
"Of course she doesn't" Violet said, then: "How is she?... Is she... taking care of herself?"
"She's perfectly healthy" James said "A bit broken hearted but fine"
Violet turned to face him while she waited for the water to boil.
"Well, she can always reach for me if she needs to" she said "I'm just..."
James nodded patiently. It was better not to insist.
"You kids have no idea how much life changes when you become a parent" Violet added as she took a seat in front of James.
"I think we are aware, Violet..."
The woman shook her head "One thing is to have an idea and another thing is actually doing it. I just think you are too young to take care of another human being at the moment"
It wasn't that James wasn't scared. Ever since Lily gave him the news of the pregnancy, all James could think about was how he had no clue about being a father and how scared he was of fucking it up.
But there was something about doing it with Lily that calmed him down. He trusted himself to be the best version of himself around Lily. And if he could do this with anyone, being a young parent, it would be with Lily.
It was a shock for everyone, especially themselves, their friends, their family. But after the initial shock, they were thrilled about the idea. James's own parents were obsessed with the idea of being grandparents already.
The only ones that didn't like the idea were Lily's mum and sister. They didn't take it so well. And sure, James expected this shit from Petunia. But not Violet. She was still acting like Lily had done something wrong and she deserved to be punished. But this was not a bad grade at school or a detention. Sure, they might've not been careful with contraception. But James reckoned a baby was the best news and something to be celebrated.
"I've had learned to take care of my dog actually..."
"It's not the same thing and you know it"
"You're nineteen, James!" Violet began to beg "I remember what it is like being that young, and feeling powerful and invincible especially if you are in love. But then you grow up and realise how complicated things actually are"
"I know I'm nineteen, Violet" James leaned in "And I know you think I don't know shit..." If Violet noticed the word, she didn't react "All I know is that I love your daughter like no one else in this world. And I want to do this with her. I want everything with her. And like we told you, we are definitely going to get married but not now "
"If you can wait for the wedding, you can definitely wait for children"
James bit his lip. Just to avoid laughing. Not because it was funny but because it was comical to believe people thought they were some immature kids when all they wanted was to be the best parents in the world.
"We want this, Violet. We're sure of it"
Violet didn't look happy.
"You say that now. But James, you're going to miss a lot of things because of this. Experiences, moments and even your youth" she said "And it's not about the changing of diapers or the crying in the middle of the night. It's about a life commitment with a person. Not Lily. Your kid. Being a parent is incredible. But once you're ready"
"James, you are a handsome, talented and smart young man. I bet you have dreams and plans for your future. And even if they fail, you have the right to live those experiences. I just don't want you to lose any of that for a responsibility you think you have..."
Sometimes plans change, right? That was what James wanted to say.
"I don't want you to miss anything and regret it. Live bitter the rest of your life because you didn't live your youth years or tried to make your dreams come true. You might feel confident now but in a few years you might hate yourself, and be resentful towards your kid or even hate or blame my daughter for this"
James didn't know what to say. How could he make her understand this was all he wanted?
"And even the relationship with Lily..." Violet continued "I know you love her..."
Violet gave him a small smile and reached for his hand above the table.
"I know you do, James" she added "She's your first love. You're each other's first true relationship and that's beautiful. But life can surprise you. And you might want other lovers. The world is wide and big full of people out there"
"I don't want to break up with Lily" James found himself saying.
"I'm not saying you should, love" Violet carried on "I'm just saying that it might happen. You're both young and good looking and realistically you might want to get involved with other people before settling down..."
James pulled away "There's no one there for me, Violet. Lily is the love of my life"
The boy couldn't be more sure about it. He had loved Lily since the first day he saw her, when he truly understood what love was about. He couldn't imagine himself with anyone else.
James knew his friends and other people his age were excited about all the people they were meeting at Uni or work, the potential lovers. But all James wanted to do was spend more and more time with Lily. She didn't bore him. He would never get tired of her.
"Lily has big plans, you know that?" Violet carried on. James wasn't liking this conversation any longer "Ever since she was a little girl, she had plans. She was sure about settling in a career and a job before marrying someone, even worse having kids. Think about how much this is going to change her. She might loose her scholarship for University..."
"Lily told me her plans had changed. As well as mine. We don't mind"
James had been obsessed with the idea of rugby ever since he could remember. All of his academic achievements and plans had been directed to that specific goal. Although at the end of the day, he didn't mind about Uni. Or getting a job. He was rich anyway and he would inherit his parent's company.
Lily, on the other hand, had worked really hard to get to where she was. She was constantly getting her grades better, doing extra assigments, trying hard to be prefect and headgirl, and maintaining a clean record just to get the scholarship.
Being pregnant might ruin that for her. However they were both already in love with the idea of being parents. With the unborn child that they didn't even know.
"I can support her or mantain her until she gets another scholarship later" James tried "She's smart"
"I'm aware you and your family have enough money, James" she said "That doesn't worry me. But I know my daughter and she's never letting you mantain her..."
"She will try and do everything at the same time and perfectly" Violet said "And you know that's going to ruin her. You are young and you think you can get through anything but that's because you have no idea about life. You just got out of school and now you are playing to be family. I'm worried that's going to burn both of you"
The water boiled, expeding a sound that reflected James's insides.
Violet was right. Maybe they haven't got a clue of what they getting themselves into. Maybe they would burn or regret about this in a few years. Maybe they would miss a lot of things during their youth which would make them bitter.
It wasn't that James didn't think about these things and panicked. He wasn't doing this as whim, but because it was the right thing. They considered the possibility of getting an abortion. But then Lily said she wanted to keep it. And James was relieved because secretly he wanted to keep it as well. It had been a decision they had made by themselves and for themselves.
James had made a lot of stupid decisions in his life. But something deep inside of him told him he was the best decision he could make. And he could never regret giving life to that baby.
Violet had gotten up to get the kettle and she returned to pour James a cup.
"When I was seven, my dad taugh me to ride the bike" James said out of the sudden. Violet was surprised but she kept listening "I remember that I fell like thirty times before I got it right..."
Violet took a seat again, grabbing her own cup between her hands.
"Around the tenth time I fell, I got pissed and told my dad I didn't want to learn anymore. That I sucked at it and I could never do it" James carried on "And he told me that that was life. About the falls. I told him to hold onto me until I felt more confident because I was scared of falling again. And he told me no. He said that I needed to learn to ride on my own. That that was growing up about..." he smiled remembering the scene "Probably my dad was more scared than me. That I would fall and hurt myself. But keeping me from trying again, would've prevented me from learning to ride the bike, and therefore all the adventures I had riding a bike on the years to come..."
Violet didn't look confused about James's story. She seemed to know exactly what James was telling her. He knew she was a smart woman. She was Lily's mother after all.
"I think that's what parenting is about" James clarified "You teach your kids everything they need to know about life. Then you let them do it by themselves"
Violet's eyes filled with subtle tears. She tried to hide them but they were there. James smiled because he knew there was a soft side there. Violet loved her daughter as much as his parents loved him. They were just different.
"I know you see us as kids still, Violet" James added carefully "And you are scared that we might get hurt out of this, you are scared of letting Lily go that fast. Especially after you lost Mr. Evans and Petunia is no longer around...But we are ready to be adults and make our own decisions. And no offense, but we are raising that child whether people agree or not. With or without help..." he shrugged "It might be the worst mistake of our lives or the best thing that has ever happened to us. And I do believe a child tends to be the second one"
James smiled. Violet smiled back, wiping a tear away.
Violet took a minute to speak.
"You are going to be an excellent father, James"
James's heart glowed hearing those words.
Violet chuckled and sniffed, her eyes filling up with tears again.
"Of course! And Lily will be a divine mother" she said
"That mean you gives us your blessing?"
Violet snorted "Let me give you a hug"
James was happy as he raised to his feet to receive the embrace. Violet was warm and smelled of flowers. They were going to be family from now on, James thought.
"I know I said that we are adults and we have to make our own choices" James said after the hug, putting his hands inside his pockets "But all I am craving lately are my parents guidance and advice. I bet Lily is craving the same thing from her mum"
Violet smiled "I want to be there for her"
"Yeah, for pregnancy tips and care" James said "I mean my mum and Maaike are experts but there's nothing like the advice of your own mother"
Violet took a deep breath.
"Do you think you can drive me to her now, James?"
James smiled widely. He couldn't wait to see Lily's face when she saw her mum. Maybe he could apply the same method with Petunia. Although he reckoned it would be harder with her.
"Of course!" James exclaimed "And I talked with mum and she said you can stay over a couple of nights..."
Violet raised an eyebrow.
"Did you know I would change my mind?"
"I had a good feeling about it"
That made Violet giggle. She liked him.
"Let me grab my purse" she said as she touched his arm.
James grinned as Violet got out of the kitchen. He couldn't wait for Lily to be completely happy to have her mum back. James would do anything for her.
Lily and that little baby inside of her were his family now. The most important people in his life.
And he also couldn't wait to see Sirius flirting with Violet on the way home.
