@fineasdevine RT @lukathisdick: tits
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@fineasdevine RT @lukathisdick: tits
echo.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā echo had been pacing back and forth along a small area of the pier, eyes fixated on her phone screen as she waited on her sister to meet her before it was time for the iconjure podcast later that day. it wasnāt supposed to be so agonizingly boring for her, waiting. call it manifesting unintentionally, but her attention was suddenly brought to someone standing behind her, close enough to which she could feel their breath on the back of her neck. turning around; shrugging off the odd feeling, her smile completely faultered when she noticed it wasnāt her sister.Ā āoh ⦠heyā she said, trying to muster a smile through the awkwardness she felt noticing it was just a tinder date from a few weeks back. eric? derek? it didnāt end well, and now she felt cornered. internally panicking, echo glanced around trying to come up with an excuse for them to leave her alone.Ā āi ā uh ā¦ā she pointed towards someone standing near by.Ā āsorry, i have to go, i have a date. iāll see you around!ā echo spoke quickly, not letting him get a word in before she walked off towards the person she pointed at a moment ago.Ā āhi, iām sorry to bother you ā but iām trying to get away from that guy over there so could you just like ⦠act like youāre happy to see me?ā echo asked, her voice almost in a whisper.Ā āiāll buy you coffee if you say yes.ā she smiled.Ā
open to all // @irvingstartersāā
itās an upsetting sight Ā to observe Ā - Ā the upset aspect more-so fueled by jealousy rather than her desire for female solidarity Ā & Ā Ā safety . Ā Ā Ā ā damn, for real ? Ā your clam must be powerful as hell. ā Ā Ā Ā timbre drops into a whisper , Ā eyes peering to the stranger she had previously mentioned; Ā as if it were a Ā Ā good thing Ā Ā to be shadowed by a creep. Ā Ā to oppose the previous murmurs, a high-pitched sound, Ā similar to a squeal, Ā emits Ā as her arms extend to excitedly wrap themselves around the blond in front of her. Ā an embrace, Ā rocking the two back and forth during it as if theyād been friends forever. Ā ā beautiful as always. ā Ā a comment made as she pulls back , Ā but another dip of her tone to say the following: Ā āĀ sure you wanna go ? Ā Ā ācause i have a pocket knife in my bag, Ā just say the word bitch, weāll get our own ID special. ā
ā Ā ā Ā dayana & noah.
noah: so i watched this movie where a lot of people get really old on a beach
noah: thats the whole movie
noah: called old
dayana: boring. and gross.
dayana: if i wanted to see people get old i'd force myself to watch an episode of the golden girls or something..
dayana: then i'd take a dive off of the roof of my apartment building because wrinky white people should truly only be kept around halloween decorations. :)
darcy .
open toĀ :Ā allĀ /Ā @irvingstartersā locationĀ :Ā kahloāsĀ Ā
Ā Ā Ā āĀ please tell me your order isnāt as long or as cloyingly sweetĀ as a hallmark christmas movie, because i swear, there was a woman who just left who spent foreverĀ explaining to me the exact temperature she wanted me to steam her drink at and with all her instructions, it basically just ended up being a cup full of syrupsĀ with a splashĀ of coffee in there. if i didnāt get a breakĀ in ten, i think iād seriously lose it. āĀ sheās more chattyĀ than usual, but itās been a particularlyĀ long shift.Ā ā sorryĀ for unloading all that, but if the next words out of your mouth are iād like a coffee, black, well, i think i might kiss youĀ out of sheer relief.Ā ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā frankly ,Ā Ā she didnāt mind being unloaded on.Ā it felt almost endearing to dayana -Ā Ā feeling as if someone trusted her in spite of the idea that the woman before may have had this breakdown to anyone.Ā Ā Ā Ā ā damn i might ask for a black coffee just for the kiss. āĀ Ā Ā her jest slips out with a tilt of her head, placing her clutch on the counter before them.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā no but,Ā Ā seriously,Ā you shouldāve popped a loogie right into that bitchesā drink.Ā Ā just let that shit float to the top and say it was the vanilla flavoring orĀ Ā Ā what-the-fuck-ever. āĀ Ā Ā risking your job to get back at an irritating customer had always been a priority for day;Ā brown hues peer at the menu for a second before reverting back to the barista.Ā Ā Ā ā just an iced chai tea,Ā babe, whenever you can. ā
TLDR.Ā too many mommy issues.Ā Ā reformed piece of shit who used to be a high school bully but is now 64% angel, thinks sheās funny and her best friend is her dad.
*Ā Ā Ā taveeta szymanowicz, cisfemale + she/her |Ā Ā Ā you knowĀ Ā DAYANA DEVINE,Ā Ā right? theyāreĀ Ā TWENTY-FOURĀ ,Ā Ā and theyāve lived in irving for, like, TEN YEARSĀ ?Ā Ā Ā well, their spotify wrapped says they listened toĀ Ā SEASHORE BY REGRETTESĀ Ā Ā like, a million times this year, which makes sense ācause theyāve got that wholeĀ Ā (Ā velvet red mini skirts hiding insecurities, Ā a smirk worn to suppress mean words, the faint taste of liquor on her lips )Ā Ā thing going on. i just checked and their birthday isĀ Ā JANUARY 11TH,Ā Ā so theyāre aĀ Ā CAPRICORN,Ā Ā which is unsurprising, all things considered.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā A LITTLE ABOUT GROWING UP .Ā
tw.Ā Ā alcohol, bullying mention, very short mention of verbal abuse.Ā anything else i forgot to add just yell at me !!
Keep reading
Olivia Junkeer in Why Are You Like This? (2021) dir. Adam Murfet, Jessie Oldfield
willa.
āAnd? Itās called acting, bitch. I could fake an orgasm over an overdone pork chop,ā Willa dismissed the concern like a fly swat out of her face on a hot summerās day.Ā āWell, that, like, really wasnāt clear. I mean, I thought we were speaking Shrekiverse only. You shouldāve explained it better, Iām just saying āĀ just because Iād win an Oscar for playing that bald guy from X-Men in a remake it doesnāt mean I can read minds like him.ā Her eyebrows drew slightly. āWhoās Prince William?ā she asked, setting her clutch on the table and popping it open just to rummage inside. Producing a lip gloss and compact, she studied the gleam of her mouth in the reflection with the wand idly poised.Ā āMhm-hm, Iām down. Beau Hayes would probably cry about it, though ā when he heard about us. Like, not publicly, but in the privacy of his own home. Heās majorly in love with me, itās intense. Longing glances, etcetera. Like, I canāt walk past him without him thinking about candlelit dinners and putting a baby in my belly, seriously. Wants me so bad.ā Evening out the gloss on her lips, Willa smacked them together then blinked over at Dayana, offering the gloss after a secondās passing ā it was custom, back in New York, crammed in front of a mirror smudged by fingerprints in a dingy drag club basement, to share with whatever glittered stranger you were knocking elbows with.Ā āI like you,ā Willa decided, compact snapped to inspect her. She tilted her head slightly, reaching to slowly sift through a lock of Dayanaās hair like a child might their favourite doll, only twining her finger once it neared the end.Ā āFeel like pulling a Madonna and Britney on stage at karaoke this weekend? My performance needs that extra pop. Not that I donāt deliver, but. The goalās a standing ovation.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ not me.Ā Ā my puss wonāt even pulsate if the guy isnāt mildly attractive.Ā āĀ more of a curse than a blessing.Ā Ā thereās an immediate roll of her eyes as willa begins to criticize dayās rules for the scenario, and a slight smirk of admiration at the girlās theatrics,Ā either way,Ā she huffs out a sigh before continuing.Ā Ā Ā Ā ā fine, out of every film youāve seen, every celebrity youāve heard of, every animated character orĀ Ā Ā greasy politician,Ā Ā Ā who is the most hideous one youād bang, no persuasion needed. āĀ Ā it was a NEED TO KNOW questioin,Ā as far as she was concerned. having already revealed herself as a shrek fuckerĀ -Ā Ā it would just be embarrassing if willa didnāt offer the same extremeness.Ā Ā (Ā Ā and as for prince williamĀ )Ā :Ā Ā Ā Ā ā donāt know for sure, some dude with a bald spot. āĀ Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā her lips have no choice but to remain in a grin,Ā Ā though brows furrow in evident confusion,Ā as she goes on about beau.Ā ā does he want you ?Ā Ā you kind of sound like that disgustingly pale chick in the horribly written catfish movie. like delusional. āĀ Ā Ā sierra burgess is a loser,Ā thatās what it was called.Ā Ā however dayana knows the comment wouldnāt have been made if she didnāt think willa was confident and just as playful enough to handle it.Ā Ā her fingers take grip on to the lip gloss without hesitation,Ā Ā using the black display on her phone as reflection as she applied it.Ā Ā Ā āĀ beau hayes is so sexy, though. heās like the only guy i would beg to get on my knees for.Ā Ā āĀ Ā a fact sheās certain megan thee stallion would be extremely disappointed in her for but it was true.Ā using lips to spread the gloss evenly,Ā it was as if the stars had aligned above them asĀ dayana handed the lip gloss back over to her.Ā to be honest, she had never been so sure that soulmates existed until this moment.Ā Ā twin flames. what-the-fuck ever philosophical word could describe the immediate connection she felt with willa.Ā Ā āĀ iād be honored to french you at karaoke, we can second base it too, for the tips.Ā āĀ Ā the answer was quick, sure enough that she didnāt need to give much attention nor thought to it.Ā Ā Ā āĀ think we shouldĀ mĆ©nage Ć troisĀ beau as well ?Ā like a friendship initiation sort of thing ?Ā ā
scout .
a laugh escaped his lips as he extended out his arms in defeat.Ā āso, iāve got the right thing going for me because iām two of the three of the qualities of shrek.ā it was as if he felt like day was calling him out. was she? he was never good at catching hints or knowing if a hint was a hint.Ā āwell, you gotta have the money to treat a gal like she should be. so, you should definitely look into finding you a guy with some money ā- because you deserve it.āĀ
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā - Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā which qualification are you missing, the waterfront ?Ā Ā youāve never invited me back to your place so i wouldnāt know. āĀ Ā Ā there wasnāt any part of day that felt the need to be shy,Ā Ā in fact the idea of being even remotely coy was missing from her personality completely;Ā Ā the arrogant beam on her faƧade made that quite evident.Ā Ā Ā ā the accent beats the coin, āĀ Ā she doesnāt actually believe that but thereās no time for honesty when flirting,Ā Ā ā iām just saying,Ā call me darling in that alabama accent just once and you donāt need the benjamins. ā
alex .ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ānow that, i definitely agree with.ā he smiled warmly.Ā āoh god ⦠where do i even start? shego? yeah, letās go with that. dr. draken can move the fuck over.ā he offered, winking.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā right,Ā Ā reasonable,Ā Ā Ā but everyoneās crush is shego, thatās a cop-out, sheās hot as fuck. āĀ Ā sheās playing far too into the imaginative scenario she may have unintentionally invalidated his answer. dayana is nothing if not intense.Ā Ā Ā ā itās a good answer but,Ā Ā i mean,Ā Ā not even lola bunny ? ā
esmeray .
esmeray almost gets WHIPLASH from how fast she turns her head to the words coming from dayanaās mouth: shrek has someĀ ā fuckable qualities.Ā ā a grimace twists on her features ā both out of confusion and mild disgust. was she talking about ogre shrek or human shrek ? she has to know because she doesnāt get the whole appeal ( even if sheās not entirely sure if dayana was talking to her in the first place ).Ā āĀ what good qualities does shrek have to be at least ā fuckable ā ?? ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā - Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā gotta think past the face for a second and focus on the fact that heās a homeowner, okay ?Ā Ā in this economy too.Ā he had been oppressed, called a monster, disgusting and yet prevailed. i like my men with a little bit of trauma.Ā āĀ Ā Ā the judgement was more amusing than offensive for dayana, finding far too much joy in the reaction of her shocking words.Ā Ā ā and,Ā may i add,Ā notĀ Ā Ā fucking shrek because heās an ogre is incredibly ignorant considering.Ā i mean,Ā i donāt know about you,Ā but iām aĀ Ā Ā Ā LOVE THE PERSONĀ Ā not the FACEĀ Ā kinda girl.Ā Ā sad you canāt say the same .Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ah ,Ā Ā gaslighting !
willa .
āI might,ā Willa supposed with a poised shrug, plucking at the finger of her satin glove to readjust the material and smooth out any creases.Ā āIf heād stayed in his human form. He has royal pull. Thatās a worthwhile connection to make. Although, honestly, Iād rather fuck Prince Charming ā I mean, his momās an inspiration, attempted murder aside. Like, thatās just a girlboss girlbossing, I barely even give a fuck, Iām just gonna say it. And thereās plenty of ways to get him to stop talking, if need be.ā Reaching up to remove her sunglasses ā cat eyed, lenses blacked out to the point she could honestly barely see ā Willa slid one arm for them to hang from the front of her dress, examining Dayana properly.Ā āList them. Iām interested. Maybe we can tag team ā weāre definitely sexier than Fiona, she doesnāt stand a chance. Like, thatās just life. Sorry to that woman, but. I donāt feel bad about it.Ā ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā royal pull, shit, thatās true. āĀ Ā and for a second she had almost swayed in her opinion until,Ā Ā ā but he looked like a late 90s john c reilly when he was human shrek, babe -Ā so not hot. āĀ Ā and not enough royal pull can convince her to put a bag over the guyās head.Ā Ā Ā āĀ no,Ā Ā prince charming doesnāt count, anyone would fuck prince charming over shrek.Ā you gotta choose someone thatās genuinely grimy,Ā Ā like makes you nauseous, you know ?Ā like kelly osbourne or prince william or something.Ā āĀ Ā if it werenāt already evident, she took the rules of this imaginative gameĀ Ā Ā incredibly seriously.Ā Ā Ā Ā suddenly her mouth moves into a faux gasp at willaās offer,Ā Ā ā what ,Ā a threesome with shrek ? āĀ Ā speaking as if it were a scandalous statement,Ā Ā let alone possible, her mouth curls up slightly, an amused expression.Ā Ā Ā āĀ thatās hella sexy, weād send him into early dementia. ā
lennyā .
a gentle scoff escaped their lips.Ā āiāll take entertainment any time, day. however this is a genuine mind puzzle. so what is it? weāre discoursing with twelve year olds about shrek now?ā they questioned, adjusting the heat on the stovetop.Ā āand your first question is whether or not youād fuck an ogre? so riddle me this: are we talking first date, one night stand? whatās the situation?ā suddenly, lenny feels her face heat up at the question posed by her roommate.Ā āi feel like fiona is an entirely different situation! sheās justā¦better!āĀ
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā as lenny continues, she uses theĀ moment to begin setting the table with their dinnerware, needing to shout back her response the further she walked away.Ā āĀ the little cunts hear of one movie they deem vintageĀ and run with it, itās not my fault theyāre taking over apps like a goddam STD. āĀ Ā Ā a perfect way sheād describe getting older and almost everything catering to literal children,Ā in spite of her words her lips had painted themselves into a smileĀ -Ā finding the conversation with her roommate all too entertaining as she approached them again.Ā quite typical fashion for lenny to be the voice of reason.Ā Ā Ā ā okay, my first question was actuallyĀ Ā Ā lord farquadĀ Ā orĀ Ā Ā shrekĀ Ā Ā for a one night stand, i picked the latterĀ ācause farquadās like, what, three feet tall ? āĀ Ā &Ā Ā Ā Ā yes sheād rather fuck an ogre than a short guy.Ā it made perfect sense to her.Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā and i feel like youāre a hater.Ā only difference between the two is whatās between their legs.Ā āĀ Ā Ā and the fact that shrek is a lot more repulsive but sheāll leave that detail out.
riri curtis in dare meĀ (1.03)
alex .ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā alex looked around, wondering if he was just in the way of the person she was actually talking to. smiling at her, he cocked his head to the side intrigued by the conversation already āĀ ā i see, well ā thatās ⦠hmm. ā he was actually at a loss for words.Ā ā i think itās safe to say that shrek should feel honored. ā he finished a matter-of-fact tone behind his voice.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā shouldnāt he ?Ā no offense to that fiona bitch, sheās certainly a six in the land of duloc but iām, at the very least, a nine. āĀ Ā Ā Ā maybe sheās just feeling confident.Ā Ā Ā Ā ā shrekās a hard three, gotta be honest.Ā Ā your turn.Ā Ā name an animated character you wouldĀ Ā (Ā one hundo pĀ )Ā Ā bang. ā
scoutĀ .
it was taking a moment for scout to recall if he had said anything in some sorts to bring up the statements. maybe it was something he mentioned that triggered it? he wasnāt too for sure. somethings he found it easier to just go along with it.Ā āi mean, yeah. i guess so?ā scout shrugged lightly.Ā āhe does have a property without a mortgage and is strong enough to defend you. thatās double brownie points.ā
Ā Ā Ā ah, scout and hisĀ Ā Ā charming as fuckĀ Ā southern ways, always there to bring a simper to her lips, no matter what the subject matter is.Ā Ā Ā ā you get it.Ā āĀ Ā day points, certain he could have just been saying what she wanted to hear.Ā Ā ā independent as fuck, has his own waterfront, and a man of his word. everything i could ask for in a guy. all heās missing is the southern accent and wallet full of benjamins.āĀ
sunny .
in their experience, dayana isnāt a stranger to making obscure, occasionally controversial statements. itās often a source of idle entertainment if nothing else. sunny likes the sound of their own voice enough to indulge her, most times, but they arenāt so sure about this one. they sigh before bracing to take on the subject. āiām absolutely not saying i agree with you,ā sunny prefaces, the distaste written clearly on their features.Ā ābut i feel as though i have to ask: ogre shrek or human shrek? the answer will strongly impact how wrong i think you are for that.ā regardless, they do not want to know but has a feeling sheās about to tell them anyways.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā there are very little moments in her life that dayana found herself somewhat... insecure (Ā ?Ā )Ā Ā but when she does cuddle herself under that emotion,Ā itās likely when sheās around sunny.Ā sheās gone from hanging on their coattails because of the luxurious life she thinks they liveĀ - yes,Ā sheās shallow as fuckĀ -Ā Ā and the man-eating attitude they show,Ā to actually enjoying their company .Ā Ā who knew ?Ā Ā whether or not the platonic feeling was mutual meant very little to her, of course .Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ human shrek was fucking horrifying, sunny, he looked like the physical embodiment of a fucked up polaroid. āĀ Ā and if that answer wasnāt obvious enough for them,Ā she confirmed.Ā Ā Ā ā ogre shrek, obviously.Ā Ā gāhead,Ā let me have it . ā