Paragraphs of Pandemonium

Generally exciting creature to know.

[msmacabre310]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[sevdahalma]

when I say “Let me ask my husband”, one (or both) of these things is taking place:

1. I am in a loving, happy relationship where we value and respect each other’s opinion

2. I am using this as an excuse to get out of something I don’t want to do (sorry habibi)

what is not happening here: I am being oppressed

[oatmonger-deactivated20260529]

3. Brother I Have No Idea What Is Happening Let Me Consult My Trusted Advisor

[ocdwaffles]

One day I shall be that trusted advisor

"My liege you cannot attend that gathering, you have promised that evening to rituals of appeasement" (you promised you would rest and take some time just for yourself)

"My liege, there are worrying rumors about their trust and capability" (Last time they tried to plan something, it fell apart and you had to plan it last minute)

"My liege, you MUST attend to maintain diplomatic standing!" (You haven't seen your friends in a month and are saying you miss them every day, SAY YOU WILL GO)

[sevdahalma]

You know, I made this post with a very specific context (how people see me, a married muslim lady in a hijab, and automatically assume I’m oppressed) but all these additions are absolutely sending me and the notes are delightful so by all means, please continue

[gaycop]

these are supposed to be my amazing digital thirties

[the-nugget-squad]

I bet crunching your little fangs into cardboard feels good as hell for a cat

[prokopetz]

The author's poorly disguised fetish

The author's proudly displayed fetish

The author's fetish you're pretty sure they don't realise they have

The author's fetish which they're firmly convinced everyone has and is just pretending otherwise

The author's non-sexual special interest which just sounds like a fetish because of their habitually unfortunate phrasing

The fetish the author is making a well-meaning effort to cater to in spite of clearly not understanding it themselves

The author's fetish that never quite makes it into the text because they keep getting sidetracked by the requisite worldbuilding

The author's utterly pedestrian sexual preference which the text treats like a bizarre fetish because they've got shit to work through

The author's seemingly innocuous recurring trope they're going to have a personal revelation about ten years down the road

The author's fetish you missed on a first reading because it's so far out of pocket, it never occurred to you that you could sexualise that

[enbaluka-tokyo-drift]

[east-of-nowhere]

“Home is where the trees look normal” is the sweetest, saddest, most nostalgic truth I’ve ever heard.

[weltenwellen]

Adrift Mark Nepo

[noah-wyles]

thanks tumblr

[breadandm]

somebody posted this Calvin and Hobbes strip and i cannot overstate just how topical this fuckin thing is

[the-big-mood]

[wizardshark]

How do I explain Plato's allegory of the cave to my cat?

[sexshopshenanigans]

gato’s allegory of the fishtank

[nycswebhead]

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

[nycswebhead]

OK it seems if you are fruits or berries this is really really bad news for you otherwise youre fine

[bowlcutprotag]

Literally nobody I know knows Gayle Waters-Waters despite how much she has contributed to society and meme culture. Get rid of the couches. We can’t let people know we sit. Was anyone gonna tell me x or was I supposed to read it in x myself. That gif of her in the kitchen breaking a board with her head. Her mad dash from the house that ends with her jump kicking her mailbox off

[txttletale]

it's really funny to celebrate something called "trans day of visibility" in 2026 tbh

[txttletale]

[entirely surrounded by a rotating target reticle like im in a bond opening sequence] reckon the problem here is, im not visible enough,

[melsglasses]

has anyone asked the important question, what if it’s ugly?

[thepoisonroom]

loudly going "YOU'RE GOOD YOU'RE GOOD" to myself to ward off the memory of every embarrassing thing i've ever done

[elmerseason-deactivated-deactiv]

[0gl1tch0]

I actually learned a fun therapy trick for this!

The statute of limitations on arson is 6 years.

So whenever I remember an embarrassing or shameful thing I’ve done, I ask myself if it was worse than arson. If it wasn’t, and it was 6 or more years ago, I forgive myself.

Also just the comedic shock of going “well, that was a stupid and mean thing I said, but 6 years is the statute of limitations on arson” helps.