again. bodily autonomy, fundamental bodily autonomy HAS to have room for people doing things with their own bodies that you do not and will not approve of. if it doesnt, it is not bodily autonomy
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@muffinfury
again. bodily autonomy, fundamental bodily autonomy HAS to have room for people doing things with their own bodies that you do not and will not approve of. if it doesnt, it is not bodily autonomy
ilya does NOT!!!!! have a gag reflex
I like to imagine Shane is competitive and jealous about this BUT Ilya is actually very into the gagging and tears and so that makes him feel much better.
Ilya is kind of jealous he cant gag on shanes huge dick tbqh. hes like Aw. that looks fun
shane would mention wanting to try and lose his gag reflex and ilya would just be like "so you hate me now???"
Hey all you baddies trying to clean up your messy rooms, some of which is just... JUNK you haven't managed to throw away yet, I just unlocked a game-changing tip: Multiple trashcans. I brought in a big can because I was finally like "I need to get down to business this is ridiculous" and had high hopes for myself lol but also had my wastebasket in there because come on, I'm not gonna move it while I've got other things to focus on.
Brother. Why did that make it so much easier. I had a trashcan on each side of me and used both of them liberally. I literally cleared one side of my room of plastic bags and package detritus in ten minutes. I had three books under there? Was wondering where those went. So anyway maybe you just need to add an extra trashcan when you're trying to clean up.
I do think that Shane gets a Russian language tutor. He sees that Ilya is always having to think, speak, and translate in his second language. And he knows that Ilya is fluent by this point, but if he's serious about forever with Ilya (which he is) he wants Ilya to be able to communicate with his boyfriend in his native language. He also saw how much his grandparents struggled with learning English as adults and how much more expressive and talkative they were when they spoke Japanese at home together.
So he gets a tutor. He meticulously researches her (she's from Moscow, so he'll learn from someone with Ilya's same accent). She's signed to more NDAs than he can count. She has 10 years of experience, she's certified to teach English and Russian, and she has 4.8 stars on MyTutor.
Shane pays her a frankly concerning amount of money to make house calls. Twice weekly, unless he's on the road, she arrives at his apartment to teach him foundational Russian. She gives him workbooks, Russia cartoon recommendation, podcasts for beginners, etc. He tells her he's learning because his boyfriend is Russian and she outlines a course that focuses on domestic language first (as opposed to travel or business). She even teaches him what she calls a 'culture course' with lessons on Russian music, food, and various traditions.
She's only a few years older than Shane and he actually finds himself looking forward to her visits. At this point, she's the only person other than his parents that knows he has a boyfriend.
About 4 months in, Shane finally feels comfortable enough to ask about what he'd been very excited about learning.
"You want me to teach you how to talk dirty to your boyfriend?" Ekaterina raised an eyebrow.
"Um," Shane blushed. Was this a little too far? Was this inappropriate to ask of a tutor? "Yes? If - If that's okay, I mean."
A slow smirk spread over her face. "This will be fun. Fun for me, now. Fun for you, later."
"I made a list," Shane admitted. He wasn't going to back out now, he put a lot of thought into his list. He turned to it in his Russian notebook and handed it to her.
She scanned over it indifferently. "You will use all this in one night?"
"Yeah, probably. Is it too much?"
"It is good you have a Russian man," Ekaterina said. "They have good stamina. Mostly, anyway."
And while it was a little embarrassing for Ekaterina to correct his pronunciation of please let me suck your cock, it helped that she seemed just as comfortable with that as there is tea on the stove.
Though, maybe he shouldn't have learned those phrases at the same time, because Ilya will never, for as long as they live, allow him to forget asking, while down on his knees and with excellent pronunciation, please let me suck your tea.
do u think omegaverse acknowledges covid-19 and the generation of people who permanently lost their sense of smell like how are they all scenting each other now is the omegaverse economy in shambles
actually pheromone sensing works differently from normal olfaction, since humans in our world don’t have a functioning vomeronasal organ (VNO), we don’t have any data on how covid-19 would affect a functioning VNO in omegaverse AUs
Actually there is evidence that covid probably would affect the VNO and it stands to reason would accordingly impair its function. Briefly:
SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes covid, can only infect cells expressing a certain protein called ACE2
ACE2 is expressed widely in nasal cavity epithelial cells but not in olfactory sensory neurons.
Seo et al. (2021) studied potential nasal targets for SARS-CoV-2 using golden hamsters as a model organism (commonly used as a proxy for humans in virology studies)
They found ACE2 expression in the main olfactory bulb epithelium (MOE, your “normal” nose organ) as well as the vomeronasal organ (VNO)
Several cell types in the VNO were able to be infected and they also found significant inflammatory activity (macrophage activation, apoptotic cells, etc)
The specifics of how covid actually causes dysosmia are not known for sure but epithelial damage by local inflammatory immune responses likely plays a role, especially because sensory neurons themselves are not affected (Bilinska, & Butowt, 2020). Therefore I would suggest a potential similar effect of VNO dysfunction as we see in the main olfactory bulb
From Seo et al.: “Considering the function of the VNO, infection and subsequent pathologic changes may affect the behavior of Syrian hamsters”
If it stands to reason that omegaverse individuals have functioning VNOs similar to members of the animal kingdom, then it is more than reasonable to conclude that covid may cause them to lose not only their main olfactory function, but also their VNO function as well
References: (1) (2)
In conclusion the omegaverse economy IS in shambles.
OP this is very well-written but im still hung up on how you came onstage dressed as a clown only to tear off the costume and reveal yourself as a biologist
You would not believe your ass
If ten million largemouth bass.
desired you while the women flee
Ship dynamic in which both people think they're the moon and the other is their sun
There is a part of Shane that when people ask him "why Rozanov?" wants to respond with "are you fucking blind?"
Why is there a diarrhea parasite outbreak in America?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to disease prevention and control.
Why is measles back in America?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including RFK Jr, cut vaccine and measles prevention funding and programs.
Why is the New World Screwworm infecting cattle in Texas, when it had previously been eliminated from the area?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Elon Musk, cut USAID funding, which in part worked to monitor and prevent screwworm outbreaks.
Why was there a flu outbreak in our armed forces?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Pete Hegseth, cut vaccination requirements for our armed forces, putting all of them at risk alongside our military readiness.
What contributed to the Covid outbreak?
Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to a pandemic prevention program in his first term because Barack Obama had created it.
“America first” sends its regards. Trump voters, please learn your lesson. And if you don’t, it’ll be taught to you again with yet another diarrhea outbreak.
Please give credit to Matthew Cortland, the disabled lawyer and activist whose work is reflected in that last screenshot. They work hard on documenting what Trump and his cronies have been doing & they deserve credit.
Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.
I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.
me everytime one of my seemingly non-specific homoerotic text posts breaks containment
I do wonder what would have happened to hollanov if Ilya got outed sometime during their situationship era, before the tuna meltdown, because Ilya got caught letting some svelte twink blow him in an alley or something. I wonder if this would drive Shane to the edge (because this ties into my hc that Shane tortured himself with the knowledge that Ilya was hooking up with women, but never once did it occur to him that he'd also be hooking up with other men)
(obviously this canon divergence would have dire consequences for Ilya, but I'm more interested in the 'driving Shane insane with apoplectic levels of jealousy' angle.)
I have been rotating this for a full 24 hours uhgggg
Okay so. I want to say that, if Ilya got outed, his own jealousy would not immediately be at the forefront of Shane's mind. It would be the pungeant Doritos nacho seasoning on top of the greater spiral that he would immediately enter into. The name of the initial spiral would be "I Have To Save Ilya" and it would, underneath the panic, be wish fulfillment of the highest order. Shane has always enjoyed fantasizing about saving Ilya. He loves to daydream about the rink catching fire and everyone gets out safely except WAIT where is Ilya Rozanov?? And it's Shane who has to run back into a burning building and use his Superior Knowledge of Ilya to find him and he's trapped under a beam or something (Shane read that article about the mom lifting the car off her kid like six times) and Shane pulls him out and then they limp triumphantly out of the rink together and everyone cheers and now Ilya has a reason to look at him like he personally put the moon and stars in the sky. In public even! Wow!
So Shane would immediately go into crisis management mode. If Ilya was outed, I truly believe that it would trigger a chain of events wherein Yuna Hollander woke up one morning to the news that Ilya Rozanov had been caught going down on some rockin' twink (I do think it needs to be Ilya both for the Shane Jealousy Potential and also because someone with short hair giving Ilya Rozanov head would come with almost too much plausible deniability versus the inalienable truth of Dick In Mouth) (An additional aside to this is that Ilya almost NEVER gives Shane head on his knees and it drives Shane crazy that he did that. He doesn't even want Ilya to do that TO HIM Shane loves their dynamic he's just like. Why?? Why did he do that?? The answer is molly) and by the end of the day Yuna's own son has come out to her and in the same breath told her that he needs her help to safe Ilya Rozanov. Because um. Solidarity.
So then it turns into a Whole Thing where the Hollanders are working behind the scenes welding NDAs like grenades to make sure that Ilya Rozanov does not get disappeared to Russia, never to be seen again. The NHL, of course, cannot weasel out of Ilya's contract (Even if they could, the people of Boston would riot--that's their homo and he won them the Cup) so he's protected by his employment status to an extent but the fact that Ilya Rozanov needs to Defect From Russia becomes immediately and poignantly apparent. So there are lots of closed-door meetings with NHL lawyers and immigration lawyers and the U.S. State Department and fucking?? Yuna Hollander?? And probably Farah since Ilya's agent is Russian and blocked his number.
And you know we're just spitballing here so I genuinely don't know what happens but I do know that at some point Shane and Ilya are standing alone in a hotel room in Los Angeles (I imagine this whole thing is taking place over the summer. I also imagine that they're in LA because Ilya is making a Tour of Bisexual Self-Flagellation where he makes various media appearances to drum up the sympathy of the American people and on this day Ilya has appeared on Ellen (Before she was evil) and he actually had a great time meeting Ellen (she wasn't evil yet) and Yuna Hollander was backstage like Dear God These People Are Not Treated Well (Ellen has been evil the whole time)) and in this Los Angeles hotel room Shane is coming down off of mild hear stroke because it is one million degrees in Los Angeles and he runs hot and he's laying on the bed in the cool and dark and just says from underneath his own arm, "I cannot fucking believe you did this."
Which triggers the anticipated argument. Oh sorry Hollander I know everything is always about you/shut the fuck up asshole you know that's not what I mean/okay so what do you/it was FUCKING IRRESPONSIBLE Rozanov/YOU DON'T THINK I--
Then there's a moment of angry silence and Shane scoffs and says, "And all of this for some fucking--slut--"
And Ilya grabs his jaw and says, "Oh, that's what this is about. Jealous Hollander."
"Shut the fuck up."
"So what, you think you're the only man I should fuck?"
"Maybe!" Shane yells. "I'm the only one who knows how to be fucking careful! Clearly, I'm the only one who cares! The only one who can keep you safe--"
And then Ilya gets on the bed and bullies his way between Shane's legs and says, "You just want me all to yourself. You are jealous," but his eyes are wild because it's been twelve years since anyone cared about keeping him safe. About keeping him.
And Shane says, "You know I am. Fuck, you make me so fucking jealous I can't even--"
And then they fuck. ☺️
who did this
hello???
who did this
hello???
ilya dutifully following cher's advice (insp. @smores100)