Jensen Ackles x Gender Neutral Reader
Word Count: 2.3k | TW: age gap, forbidden romance | POV: Second Person | By: MultifandomHC | Themes: angst, implied/referenced smut, happy ending | Reqs are open!
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Three months. Three months you had spent devoted to this man, your father’s best friend, and he broke it off over a phone call. Three exhilarating months of pure joy, love, lust, and everything you’ve ever wanted and or needed. But no, apparently it was too dangerous, too risky. Jensen was worried that if your father found out, it would put a strain between you, despite the man being practically absent, and that you just weren’t going to work in the long run. Angry tears slipped down your face as you huddled up on the old motel bed, sniffling into your hands. You were a grown adult, able to make decisions for yourself, and yet he had said it with such finality that you had no room left in your broken heart to fight back.
“I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry, but we can’t do this anymore.”
His cruelly loving words filled you with betrayal, a firm pressure settling deep down in your chest. Fear, loss, anger, all of it, all at once. You couldn’t believe him, his audacity. To end what had been the best relationship of your life, even if it were only for these past three months, over the fucking phone. You ignored the constant buzzing you now got from the phone, having already put it on silent. He was calling you, spamming your phone with worried texts and anxious voicemails.
You had said, knowing how broken and defeated you had sounded, yet no longer caring.
You had whispered, hanging up the phone. You had ghosted him, leaving him to spam your phone. You didn’t care, the old man could suck it. You had been lying on the motel bed for the past half an hour, hot tears now cool on your cheeks as you played with the withering seams of the blankets on the bed. After the call had ended, you had grabbed your bag and packed a few things in it before leaving the house. You told your father you were heading out for a bit, and had immediately gotten a ride straight to the nearest motel. You just couldn’t be in your room, your house, knowing that you had been loved, fucked, and taken care of by him in almost every single room. Late nights on the sofa, early mornings in the kitchen, the days spent laying in bed with nothing else to do but stare at and admire each other. You couldn’t be around those memories, not when they apparently hadn’t meant anything to the older man you shared them with.
You looked over at your phone, picking it up to check the time. Midnight, almost. It was roughly quarter to twelve, the night sky outside hiding behind the gloomy grey clouds. The room was dark apart from a buzzing lamp, that looked to be from the fifties, flickering dully in the corner of the room. You noticed the notifications, lazily looking to see if any were from your father. None. All of them were from Jensen, thirty seven messages, twenty missed calls, and three voice mails. You turned your phone off, not even bothering to open them.
You looked down, fresh tears pooling in your eyes as you realised you were wearing his shirt. He had left it at your place one night after making a quick escape, your father having come home a bit earlier than expected. The next day you tried to return it, the both of you laughing over the absurdity of the situation, but he had refused, insisting it looked better on you than it did him. Now, you felt dirty wearing it. No longer was it a fond memory, but one tainted by heartbreak. One you knew you’d never enjoy again.
You were in only his shirt and some boxers you had tossed on, your knee socks pulled up high. Jensen had also complimented you on those as well, saying they were cute, that they fit you well. Now you just feel stupid, the clothing you once took comfort in now itching all along your skin. You huffed, tears now streaming down your face again. But you couldn’t do anything about the clothes, as you hadn’t packed any spare, so you just had to deal.
Suddenly, you heard the sound of a car skidding out in the parking lot before coming to a quick stop. You frowned, wondering what on earth would make someone skid out in a motel parking lot in the middle of nowhere. Teens? You asked yourself in your thoughts, it seemed the most likely explanation. It only angered you more. Now you couldn’t even cry yourself to sleep, because some reckless kids wanted to show off to their douchebag friends. You rolled over, snuggling down into the bed and shivering softly, though unwilling to pull the blankets up over you.
That’s when aggressive knocking came pounding on your door. You sat up quickly, a spike of fear running through your spine. Who would be here, this late at night? Let alone looking for you of all people. Because nobody wanted sad little you.
“Y/N!? I know you’re in there.”
A far too familiar voice called out, making your heartbeat quicken in your chest. You stood quickly, unsure of what to do with yourself as both panic and relief buried themselves in your bones. You had forgotten that you shared your location with him at all times, something he had done after you’re first few weeks together. You looked at yourself in the mirror, looking a right mess. God, you really didn’t want him to see you like this, pathetic and broken, all because of his words. The words he had spoken over the phone, no less.
“Y/N! If you don’t open this door right now, I swear…” Jensen’s voice spoke, fading off at the end with what sounded like a whine of pleading.
Slowly, you crept towards the door. Though you didn’t open it. You simply stood behind the wood, looking down at the shadow of his boots that leaked out from beneath the doorframe. You heard him sigh, a soft thump against the door, sounding most like his head. He sounded a wreck, much like yourself. Good, you thought. He deserved this, after what he put you through. The ache in your chest unfading, only growing stronger with his presence.
“Baby, please, open up.” Jensen pleaded softly, voice only just coming through the door now as he quieted down.
“Why should I?” You asked softly, voice hoarse and quiet in the silence of the night.
“Sweetheart.” Jensen breathed with what sounded like relief, though you were unsure. “Baby, hey.” He said softly, coaxingly, as if he were whispering to a frightened animal. “Can we talk, please?”
“We’re talking now.” You huffed, irritation slipping into your voice. You didn’t want to speak to him, not now, not while you could still feel the feelings deeply in your chest.
“Inside, I mean.” Jensen said, a small huff of his own escaping his lips. “Please?” He asked, the small irritation that had been in his huff had now bled out.
You answered him with silence, listening as he sighed softly on the other side. You waited, arms crossed over your chest. You’d make him wait, make him feel that anxiety in his chest slowly wrap around his heart and squeeze in panic. You wanted him to suffer, if only for a moment, so he could feel your pain. Feel worse about what he had done. You wouldn’t forgive him so easily, not after you had placed all that trust in him and he had tossed it all away.
“C’mon, hunny. Let me inside, I wanna see you. I wanna apologise.” Jensen pleaded, and you could hear him shuffling behind the door, the rumble of fabric sounding almost as if he were running a hand down his face. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.” He said, a small whimper accompanying his words.
That’s when you realised he was crying, he too, felt the pain that had snuggly gripped your heart and had squashed it underneath it’s intensity. The sound of his sniffles, admittedly, made your stance falter slightly. You started to shift on your own feet, a small trace of guilt slipping in as you slowly reached for the door. But you didn’t dare open it, not yet.
“I fucked up, big time. I know I did. But come on, sweetheart, you’ve got me crying outside your door like a stray dog.” He huffed with a sniffle, his tone self deprecating. “Let me in, please. Please, baby. Let me see you. Let me apologise properly.” He whispered the last few words, his voice croaky.
You sighed, looking up at the sliding lock before sliding it open. You let the chain jangle and you heard his breath hitch from the other side of the door. Slowly, you opened the door, peaking out sheepishly with a gulp as you met his eyes. They were wet and red rimmed, his cheeks damp but the tears had clearly been smudged by his hand wiping them away. You watched him sigh with relief as he looked down at you, a small smile tugging at his lips, his face guilty and ashamed.
“Hey baby.” He said softly, pulling his lips into a thin line with a deep breath in through his nose before speaking up once more. “Can I come in?” He asked in a gentle whisper.
You didn’t respond verbally, only opening the door more widely before walking inside, not bothering to check behind you as you knew he’d follow you in. Just as you suspected, heavy boots trotted along behind you, and when you sat down on your bed you heard him close the door with a sock click. You didn’t dare face him, not unless you wanted a new wave of tears to test your patience. You felt the bed dip behind you as he sat down on the opposite side, hands clasping together. You heard him sigh, taking deep breaths, before the bed creaked once more. Soon enough, he was sat beside you, but you didn’t look at him, you just looked at the wall to your left, eyes focusing on the piss coloured wallpaper with smoke stains at the top.
“Sweetheart, hey. Can you look at me? Please?” Jensen’s asked softly, hand coming to clasp yours as his thumb rubbed soothing circles on the skin of your knuckles.
Slowly, you turned your head to face him, tears pooling once again just as you suspected they would. He sighed softly, wiping away the tears that escaped. He simply looked at you for a moment, his eyes drinking you in as they had so often done before. He gently stroked your cheek, a shaky sigh escaping his lips.
“Hey there, sweet cheeks.” He said softly, the teasing nickname that used to make you roll your eyes only now making you hurt.
He sobered up soon enough, gently pulling away before grabbing your hands in his, regret and remorse clear in his eyes as they met yours. Green and dewy, like a field after a long rain.
“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, licking his lips anxiously as he found the words. “I was such a dickhead, a massive one. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I regret what I said, if I could take it all back I would. I fucked up, so bad.” He huffed, his eyes watering again, to which he looked away, breathing in a deep breath to try and will them away. When he turned back his eyes were redder, but they only glistened now with a thick sheen of water, no tears daring to fall. “When you hung up, I immediately felt lost. I can’t be without you, baby. I can’t. When I heard that little break in your voice, I knew I fucked up.” He said, his own voice shaking now. “I thought I was doing the right thing, you gotta believe me. I would never hurt you, not on purpose, and I realised just how big of an idiot I was as soon as I realised I had.” He murmured, hands tightening in their grip on yours.
You sighed softly, tears of your own welling again as you listened to his apology, his heart lying bare and open for you, and only for you. So you took a deep breath, in and out, before answering, calm and collected as you could be.
“You fucked up, you fucked up bad.” You said, firm and unyielding, even as Jensen’s eyes widened and you could see that familiar panic grip at his heart. “You hurt me, so much. Unbelievably so. To break up with me, like that, over the phone. You couldn’t even say it to my face, and it made me feel like shit. Like I meant nothing to you.” You huffed, a single tear slipping down your cheek. But this time you let it, you wanted him to see this one. “I felt abandoned, Jensen. Lost.” You spoke, looking into his eyes sternly. “I can’t forget this, it’s gonna replay in my mind now for the rest of our relationship. Every fight, every time we’re apart…” you trailed off with a shake of your head.
“So I won’t forget.” You murmured softly, looking down at your lap. “But I will forgive.”
Jensen sighed softly with relief, arms immediately coming to wrap around you. He pulled you in close, snuggling your head down into his chest as he breathed in against your scalp. He did that every time you hugged, his nose nuzzling into your hair, often complimenting how it smelt. You snuggled again his chest, your own arms coming around him in return.
“M’so sorry, baby, so sorry.” He mumbled against your hair, his grip on you tight and unyielding. “Thank you, sweetheart. I swear, I won’t fuck up again. I promise. I’ll do my damndest to keep you all to myself.” He promised. “I love you.”
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NOTE: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Any feedback or commentary is always appreciated!
