no other group of people told we have to give up our names, our faces, our memories, our life histories, as a prerequisite for healing or for any kind of community. told to reduce ourselves to an accessory to someone else, someone more important. to annihilate our identities, our very selves.
it's still such a fucking. uphill battle to feel real. to feel like we're not just horrible manipulators doing this For Attention, even after all this time.
i hate the thought of how many nascent systems it's crushed. people on the cusp of selves-discovery who repress it because they're afraid they're "not plural enough", or they have too many fictives, or they work in ways that most of the community doesn't. just because more-than-oneness isn't accepted as a normal, even common, part of the experience of being alive.
1.5% of people woridwide are diagnosed with DID, and that's just DID, by the book. not any CDD or any endogenic or tulpa or soulbond system, not any of the statistically millions of people who practice religions where you let ancestors or other spirits borrow your body. there are systems in your school. there are systems on your bus. there are systems walking down the street with you. and yet we're hidden from each other's view. you can't even go to a plural meetup in some of the largest cities in the US.
it's not rare. it's not special. it's just one of the ways to exist. and yet you'll never, ever see us talked about unless we're being sensationalised.
can we change this? can we find each other more, in person? it would be so good for so many of us.
By that I mean, there are methods you can use to become plural, of course. But if you want to be plural, you probably already are plural. You don't have to figure out headmates or names or roles or origin or separation levels or communication or headspace or anything right away to claim that as your own. You can just be plural. You can sit with that label for as long as you want without taking any other steps. Being plural doesn't mean you have to have all the answers. It doesn't mean you need to know a certain amount about your system. It doesn't mean you have to take any actions beyond identifying as plural. You can just be plural. You will, probably, eventually take more steps ā learn who your headmates are, learn who you are, learn how things work for you, learn who you all want to be and what you want to do moving forward. But you don't have to do any of that if it would be too much for you. You don't have to push yourself to have a place here. If you want to be plural, you can just be plural, and you don't need to do anything else. [PT: If you want to be plural, you can just be plural, and you don't need to do anything else. / end PT]
It's okay to be plural. It's okay to want to be plural. You are welcome here. Take a breath, don't push yourself, and congratulate yourself on making it this far. Sit with the plural label as long as you like, and when you're ready to move forward ā or if you've decided it's not for you after all ā there will be people there for you, ready to help if you need it. And if you never take any other steps, there will people there for you then, too. I hope being plural is a joyous experience for you, one that's all you've ever wanted and more <3
I have a question, for systems whove never switched before/have someone frontstuck, how do you deal with that? Like how do you get them unfrontstuck? Our host has been frontstuck for two years and we dont know what to do and weāre desperate at this point
we haven't posted much personal stuff here. this blog has mostly been collecting dust since we made in back in 2023, but i want to change that. so, here's a little update.
things have gotten a lot better in here over the past two years. we implemented something resembling a switching schedule, which has done wonders for us. everyone gets a fair amount of time in front now, and i can no longer say it's just me 99% of the time. it's probably more like 25-50%, which is much more comfortable for all of us. i also haven't had any self-doubt phases in...a While.
we're planning on making some kind of "get to know the system" type document somewhere, though with how many of us there are and how much we secretive we tend to be online (safety is important kids), i'm not sure how feasible that will actually be. still, i'll link that somewhere if/when it ever feels finished enough to share.
like. ok. i know i've talked about this before but i genuinely think that the boundary between "plurality" and "singlethood" is so fucking fuzzy and ambiguous because i do not think a boundary exists. like. ok what do people know about "internal parts therapy" or whatever. god. nevermind ignore that i said that. listen to me.
do you feel like, around certain people, you are an entirely different kind of person? with some people, you are outgoing, excitable, loud, outspoken, confident? with others, you are quiet, reserved, shy, anxious? obviously these do not mean these are necessarily two different people, right?
well, I mean. what the fuck is "a person." or rather what the fuck is "a consciousness" is maybe a better question.
plenty of systems have the whole "i have amnesia and my parts are profoundly distinct and cannot communicate with each other internally" etc etc etc but 1) this is like. a specific expression of a broader phenomenon and 2) this is not the only way to be plural.
a better example than the above is maybe "when I'm at work, I am Literally A Different Person than when I am at home with my wife."
this is something that I think most people would not balk at saying, even if it's nominally in jest or hyperbolic. but like, what makes that not literally true?
if we accept that a Part or an Alter or a Headmate or a Distinct Psyche or whatever you want to call it Does Not Need to be profoundly distinct in the way the "DSM-5" articulates it as, i.e. you can have parts that do not have amnesia and who share some level of awareness, memories, etc, can communicate internally, etc. what determines the boundaries of a Part? In our experience, the most constrained definition of "what a part is" could be defined as "a distinct psychic mode of existence which can be temporarily occupied, and is sometimes occupied based on contextual triggers."
your "inner child" is a part! your "worksona" is a part! when you have a bad day and you hear a voice in your mindspace that tries to encourage you to get up and take care of yourself, that can be a part!
likewise, the voice in your head that denigrates and derides you can be a part. and, if you give yourselves permission, you can try to talk to them.
imo. the biggest "hack" for "determining if you are plural" (fake, everyone is plural) is giving yourselves just. permission to even "pretend" to be distinct. you may shock yourself. you may surprise yourself. you may think into your mindspace "hello, is anybody there?" and you may be surprised to find that sometimes. someone might answer back "yes."
the way we first realized we were plural was literally that we were in a car talking with a friend who is a system and they said to us, "well, if you were separate parts, what would you say?" and then an entirely different emotional state clicked into place and a cheerful and excited voice piped up out of our body and said "WELL, if I ever got to distinguish myself as separate, I would..." before stopping and realizing what she had said.
the thing is that plurality is psychic. it is "psychological." it is, by definition, "all in your head." because every part of your personhood(s) is "in your head." you can play pretend. you can do imagination games. what makes that "less real" than other thoughts in your mindscape? if you pretend hard enough that you are different kinds of people in your mind, you might just literally be different people in your mind. why not? what makes on "personality" or "psyche" or "fragment" real, and another "pretend?" it's all pretend. none of it is pretend. your personhood is made up in your mind. you are already playing pretend! you are playing pretend that you are a person! having thoughts and beliefs and emotions and opinions is make-believe! it is made up of the same essential psychic Stuff as playing pretend.
you may be pleasantly surprised to find out how joyful the different parts of your heart and your life might feel to be granted the respect and autonomy to distinguish themselves as distinct and unique and each worthy of personhood, choice, and expression.
#good and helpful reminders#were all simply weird animals who make up rules for things#there are no rules let the 12 year old you in your head stretch their/your legs and stop pretending to be one cohesive animal all the time
DING DING DING WINNER OF UNDERSTANDING WHAT I'M SAYING AWARD GOES TO THESE TAGS (/GEN)
there are no rules. it's literally all make-believe. go ham. the child who lives in your heart must be let loose at all costs. I'm letting this fucker drive! [universally understood symbol for "the two year old alter"]
[Image description: A dark grey smiling hyena marching while carrying a flagpole with multiple flags sewn together. Flags from left to right: Quoigenic, Mixed Origin/Multigenic, Endogenic, Traumagenic, and Plural.
Text reads: The future is plural. All plurals deserve acceptance, the world will be educated. End description.]
I think... something I want singlets to understand is that switching, by and large, isn't inherently a bad thing. It can happen at inopportune times, or come with amnesia, or have any number of other complications, yes ā but for many of us it's just part of being a system (any negative effects included). Switching is just something that happens, whether it's involuntary, voluntary, or some mixture of the two. You don't have to pity us for switching. You don't have to worry if we tell you that we feel like we're going to switch. It's just something that happens, and if we're telling you, it's because we trust you to know why we may be out of sorts for a bit before we find our footing with the new fronting situation. It's alright. It's just a part of life for most of us, so don't stress about it.
Plurality is so weird sometimes because sometimes you go to refer to yourself and itās like. I? we? wei? I/we? I/[headmate]? I (blurry)? I (system āIā)? all of these feel subtly different and sometimes figuring out which one to use in a given moment is weirdly difficult
Hello! I'm Ardyn, and I decided to make this guide because after talking to many systems, I've come to realize that moving from a near medianhood to a full multiplicity may encourage better function for certain systems. For us any identity blurriness brings a lot of pain that has been aided by further separation and amnesiac barriers. Before you put an awful judgement on this, remember that healing is different for everyone, and breaking down barriers isn't best for everyone. This is up to the system, there is no guilt on wanting to do what is best for your system.
RADQUEERS DONT TOUCH
This guide will hold many different exercises and ideas that have been taken from tulpamancy and my own experiences.
first I'd say get situated with identity grounding and also following the "The Body is a Car" exercise within these sources
Identity Grounding
Guide to Switching
Building up Distinction
Separate Journals/Diaries
A seperate journal or diary that nobody can write in but that headmate is a good way to help a headmate build up their identity. They will be able to write down their own experiences and their own feelings, and this seperate space gives reinforces the idea that they are ultimately apart from you.
Separate Accounts with a Separate Feed
Something that pushed for the blur was having similar feeds, seeing my interest would push me to the front and cause issues for Vincent. He ended up making his own account on reddit where he is able to join subreddits that appeal to solely his interest, and it would help keep him at front instead of pull someone else.
Distinct Hobbies
encourage your headmates to pick up hobbies that are not something you may be interested in, hobbies give way to individuality as now they may seek others who share that hobby or spaces online that appeals to that hobby.
Different Clothing and Ownership
Assign different clothing and other items to headmates, let them pick out their own jacket and may they be the only ones to wear that jacket. Let them have their own perfume, let them have their own bag, let them have their own keychain for the car keys. This won't just give you that barrier, but also can be used as a form of identity grounding during a blur. When in blur, you will be able to tell whose fronting based on what clothing makes you feel more yourself.
Different Friends
This option may be more difficult, but it works very efficiently. Let your headmates have their own friend, I mean it. Giving them someone outside the system that they themselves can solely talk to is absolutely perfect in giving that split. Interacting and communication outside the body and encouraging unmasking will do wonders.
Drop Part Language
If you really want to encourage separation, you will have to drop the idea that you are all pieces of another. This is however a preference, speak to your headmates about it. Speak to them about terms they may prefer, maybe customized role names, let them be themselves. Push to yourself too that these are different people, not parts of you. But like I said, if parts language isn't an issue for you, then you might not have to change after all :P but I recommend it for this all to work.
Identity Separating Exercises
Now as you have pushed the formation of these headmates, now it's your goal to start separating them more and more through these exercises
Remember: Fake it until you make it
Being consistent in these exercises will be great, but you also have to make sure you believe that they are working. Plurality is very much a brain game, you have power over yourself and the more you believe these separations the more they will be. Some of these exercises are purely for pushing the belief, I recommend having a collection of proof on your plurality to refer to whenever you get doubtful.
I also recommend joining a tulpamancy community such as a discord or reddit, even if you don't practice tulpamancy, these people have so much trust in themselves and the process that it starts to rub off on you.
Separation Meditation
If you are able to visualize and even after doing all the above you still feel like your headmate hasn't fully left you, this exercise may be useful. In this meditation, you are to visualize the headmate in front of you. Then repeat "___ is a separate person from me" repeatedly for however long you like once a day.
Discussions
Speak to your headmates, ask questions about their lives
Here is a good source on that
Preface Itās often difficult to find things to talk to your tulpa about, especially when youāre just starting to work on vocality, or your t
The best route to take is to discuss opinions and specifically focus on what you disagree on, this will reinforce in your mind that this person is not you, this person does not agree with you, this person has their own opinion. Focus on those ideas until they really settle, and maybe also record these disagreements in your proof collection.
Affirmations
If you are a bit too busy for these things, constant affirmation throughout the day are both simple and helpful. Here is a good list
"__ is a seperate person from me"
"the system has entirely different and seperate people"
"___ is real and a seperate person"
"the system is noticeably distinct"
at first it may feel silly, but like I said, fake it until you make it. These will reinforce ideas.
Building Up Amnesiac Barriers
This may be more controversial, but for us these barriers help a ton. I would like to say that we already had blackout amnesia to begin with, but these exercises made them "worse". There are many reasons why a system may want to have higher amnesiac barriers, ours being privacy and independence, try to avoid judgement on this decision. The Switching Guide above also has an exercise that will push lost time.
"Cancel Recall"
When a memory from another headmate tries to seep into your thought process, immediately cover that memory and say to yourself "This memory isn't mine to remember". Perhaps visualize a door closing on it or a lock appearing on that memory. Mentally assign that memory to the correct headmate and move on
Affirmation
Affirmations that may help these barriers can be used situationally, just whenever you try and remember a time another headmate fronted think "No, I don't remember"
Headspace Tools
If you have a headspace, try using creation. Imagine cutting memory ties off with everyone else that can only temporarily be connected when agreed upon by both parties. Maybe also set up a headspace memory lock system.
Using Remnants left behind
When I say this I mean use something such as text messages a headmate left behind and when scrolling through them, focus and think "This wasn't me, I don't remember typing this".
Memory Redirection
Most times it's harder to push a memory away than just redirect it. When redirecting memory, for example you start to remember something another headmate did in meatspace, recite "that wasn't me, what did I do during this time" and attempt to recall your time within the headspace instead.
FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT, REMEMBER THAT
what do you guys think? any changes we should make? we would love to hear how this guide impacted your system!
Saw one of these going around recently and got inspired. I wouldn't call this advice list the "evil edition", more like the... "do no harm but take no shit" edition X'D
Be on each other's team first, before anything else. Everything gets easier when you're facing it together.
Trying to avoid being (or looking) cringe is a fool's errand. If you would have to bend yourselves into a conciliatory pretzel in order to make a person like you or a social circle accept you, those people are not worth your time.
When you inevitably get hit with episodes of anxious system-doubt, (it's a pretty universal experience, I promise), take a second to pause. What's the longest span of time you've had so far without any "system stuff" (comments in co-con, switches, notes left for you, etc) happening?
Say it's a week. Take that time span, double it, and then tell yourself that you are not allowed to seriously, actually start doubting until that long from now (e.g. 2 weeks). "But I'm so sure I'm definitely just faking it!" okay, hey, alright--if that's true, it'll still be true in 2 weeks. You can wait to find out, it's okay.
Be kind to everything in your head anyways, even in the middle of a doubt episode, because that's equally important for singlets to do and not just limited to systems. "Just part of me talking to myself" is as worthy of respect and kindness as an autonomous system member.
Also, keep notes somewhere of Hilariously Plural stuff that happens to you. It'll be good reassurance, but even more importantly, it'll be really funny to look back on later.
Labels are tools to help you communicate your experiences, not boxes you have to sort yourselves into.
The magic question isn't about labels or validity or trauma. It's "What do we need? What do each of us need, individually? What support would help us?"
Don't get too caught up in online system communities. Especially 1) endless tilting-at-windmills debates, and 2) advice channels and feeling obligated to give advice and emotional support to everyone who looks like they might want it.
(Note: it's not bad to give advice, but it can be very easy to make a habit of overextending yourselves to care for others instead of yourselves--quite often because your own problems are hard and scary, bc otherwise you would have solved them already, and other peoples' issues can feel a lot more tractable and easier to address.)
Do find people and communities where you feel safe to be yourselves, and where people get to know you for your interests and perspectives and senses of humor, not only for your demographic labels.
It's okay to not know everything or figure everything out right away. There will be changes, there will be surprises, and that's good and normal and part of being alive.
Have fun on purpose. Lean into having fun with being a system, even if fun moments are rare and fleeting at first. Make in-jokes, encourage each other's angsty poetry habits, leave each other notes (even if you share memories), end up with massive crushes on each other, daydream together, hold each other when one (or more) of you is sad. Find things about each other you're grateful for, that you admire and want to learn from, that you enjoy.
Itās okay if you donāt know who you are. Itās okay if you donāt have clear profiles on every system member. Itās okay if you struggle to make sense of yourself and your alters.
You can take as much time as you need to figure it out, but itās also okay if you never figure it out.
You are allowed to simply exist as you are. Even if you donāt know who that is. Even if it changes by the hour.
origamiaround
blakekathryn
vaporwave
yousharknotpass
dailybridgerton
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