Seal Time (TM)

25 | They/Them

[vyva-melinkolya]

Don’t make your younger self into your own dead wife.

[its-your-mind]

[only-cat-memes]

[victusinveritas]

I love the idea of a roomba topography map being the jumping on point for a liminal horror story. House of Leaves II: Roomba.

[hellspawnmotel]

(remembers 10 months late i still have a bunch of unposted zim art) oh fuck

[vsingers]

since when did snapple start dabbling in elemental elixirs

[a-book-of-creatures]

I love how they went for the four classical elements but realized they can’t call a sweet flavored beverage Water

[shamebats]

They made divorce so expensive because they knew ppl would do it for kink reasons

[shamebats]

Me & my man getting our bi-yearly divorce so we can yell accusations at each other & then have a hot passionate extramarital affair for about 3 days before we re-marry

[shamebats]

May I introduce you to my 23rd husband? (it's been the same guy 23 times)

[unreadable]

[molabuddy]

3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh

0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎

[isawken]

june vision board

[kushblazer666]

[ibenology]

the average twitter vs tumblr community experience

[fourohfourlifenotfound]

[everydaylouie]

plato's cave: the video game

[notvoid]

[fangsup-cobrastyle]

Making this its own post because I occasionally remember this and can't stop laughing

When I was 14, my friends and I went to see Madagascar 3 - told our parents and then walked to and from the theater by ourselves. When I got home, my mom asked me all kinds of questions about the movie, and I told her about it, and I kept singing the stupid Afro Circus song

and eventually she gave in and was like, "Wait, you guys really went to see Madagascar? I assumed you were lying to us and sneaking into a rated R movie." And I fear I have never felt so lame as I did in that moment.

[spreadassholesdotorg]

[phaeton-flier]

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

[phaeton-flier]

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

[theaudientvoid]

[centrally-unplanned]

Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.

And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.

[beemovieerotica]

[beemovieerotica]