todays bird
Jules of Nature
One Nice Bug Per Day
$LAYYYTER
Cosimo Galluzzi
cherry valley forever
Sweet Seals For You, Always
KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
Show & Tell
Three Goblin Art
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Not today Justin
Game of Thrones Daily
trying on a metaphor
⁂
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AnasAbdin
izzy's playlists!
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@murderingpineapple
the king has abruptly fired 60% of his wizard staff, so he’s about to be abruptly surprised at who floated 100% of his formerly floating sky castle
I heard they're planning to maintain their levitation rites with autonomous constructs from now on, saying wizards are going to be totally obsolete within the season... so, ah, I'd invest in falling island insurance.
Preserving not-prev-but-someone-elses funny tags in this chain as well because I love both these additions actually,
basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*
*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god
*thunderous slam dunk noise*
Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower
that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now he’s famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.
I’m obsessed with the implication that this was a coming-of-age ritual where a boy becomes a man, like a bar mitzvah
just saw a deactivated mutual's post on my dash. that's my dead wife's corpse you're all dragging around
I also reblog this guys dead wife.
do you think bowser ever gets anxious after kidnapping peach again that he went too far this time and he calls mario up in the middle of the night to make sure they’re still on for tennis and gokarting next weekend
painstakingly dialing mario’s landline on a comically small telephone only for luigi to pick up instead and he has to ask him to put his brother on the phone. not that luigi isn’t part of weekend plans, but like this is really more of a mario & bowser situation and it’d be rude to drag his brother into it if there’s a problem. so anyway then luigi puts the receiver down to go get his brother and bowser sits there tapping his claws on his table and this is agony, actually, he shouldn’t have called at all, it’s late enough at his castle so it has to be even later over in the mushroom kingdom. but just as he’s about to put the phone down, mario answers all chipper—mario mario speaking, who’s-a calling? which is a ridiculous question because there’s no way luigi didn’t already tell him.—and bowser has to ask him. look, mario, i know i dangled peach in a bird cage over a pit of lava the other day, and when you showed up, i let my son throw giant flaming hammers at you, and there’s no hard feelings about that, right? and there’s a few seconds of silence before mario laughs and reassures him it’s all in the day’s work of a plumber, an explanation bowser has never thought to really question since he only knows two plumbers and it does all seem pretty in their wheelhouse. and then he’s embarrassed for worrying so much so he tries to end the call quickly, but mario just ribs him about how badly he’s going to lose the next race, and then he starts asking bowser how junior is, and does bowser want any of the leftovers since he and luigi really do cook way too much for two, be a shame to let it go to waste. and by the time bowser manages to hang up, this has gone from leftovers into him and junior and the koopalings all being invited over to the mario household for dinner, so long as they don’t park their airship on the front lawn and leave the cannons at home.
op approved tags. you’re the only person here who sees my vision
Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me
They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(
I really like how the scientology speedrunning trend is developing, in this clip we see that the participants are
Not deterred by the closed door
Working as a group
Protecting their identities
Inflicting material costs to the institution via property destruction
Getting away at the end
These ideas were not all here from the beginning. They are genuinely gaining experience that can be applied elsewhere
The church of scientology is on tumblr and they are sending me anon asks telling me that they can't even commit to reporting a post
dead wife montage but it's a henchman reminiscing about da boss after he got put six feet under. picking flowers before hiding the bodies, wiping cocaine from your nose after a big night, that long drive down the beach to find the bookie who squealed. where did the days go
The scientology speedruns were already funny but I thought they were joking when they said they were mapping the building. I absolutely lost it when I saw the actual map.
I wish i could make wet passionate love to Dr. Pepper. That soda has done so much for me personally.
Would you settle for his step brother?
*sigh*
fiiiiine
🫱(‿¤‿)🫲
"Maybe it's just stress/anxiety" is so crazy as a Dismissive Statement because even when it *is* anxiety it's such an understatement to be like "how about you just chill out idk" when your body is poisoning itself with its own stress hormones. Like okay sometimes it is anxiety. This is still physically happening to me
"It's probably just stress" and it's like well documented that it can just kill people sometimes
And then the fucking beauty industry hears about it and starts manufacturing new pseudoscientific insecurities like "hey. You have poison face :/" and you're supposed to *stop* going insane
We got that fine classic literature on the island
“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story
“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do
