ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT DOGS

Hi, I'm Oscar, I'm 27 and I never fucking learnt how to read. I have lots of thoughts and no-one to tell them to so I'll shout them into this void. formerly multifandomal-mad-hatter

[thesevenumbrellas]

Lawyer: How would you like to handle the custody agreement?

Parent: I want my wife to take one of my infant daughters to the UK and I’ll take the other one and we will never see each other again.

Lawyer: You want to fucking what?

[gaybichon]

i think i found my new favorite artist on twitter

(source)

[gaybichon]

👆 me

[clumsypuppy]

what rhe fuck

[clumsypuppy]

oh my bad. continue

[adobe-outdesign]

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

did everyone forget that the message of the ugly duckling isn't "you'll get a revenge body and all the haters will be sooo jealous" but actually "one day you'll be around people who understand who you are and love you for it"

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

those ducks still think he's ugly as shit btw. he just doesn't care anymore.

[gaybichon]

i think i found my new favorite artist on twitter

(source)

[meret118]

I thought this might be of interest to authors.

List of British words not widely used in the United States. Lists of words having different meanings in American and British English. List of American words not widely used in the United Kingdom.

[luminiferocity]

I love the proportion of swear words and insults in the British vs. American lists

CC @catbellybuttons @halfbaked00q

[notatzimisce]

I will never shy away from the word goon. goon is the only way to describe a particular type of henchman, lackey, or thug. look at these guys. they're goons.

[nudityandnerdery]

Hey, we’re in line for some absurd temperatures here in the southwest this week. This is very important to know and keep in mind. Be safe, stay hydrated, stay out of the sun as much as you can.

[katajainen]

For my fellow Europeans south of us who are currently suffering from extreme heat. Stay safe!

[belovedapollo]

I’d also like to add this

Additional you can also put them on your palms, also, make sure to always use a light towel or kitchen paper and don’t put the ice bags directly onto your skin!

[dragon-in-a-fez]

keep thinking about how I wrote in my dissertation about how every time a new form of public/social space emerges it's immediately popular with kids and teenagers who see it as a chance at freedom and then adults colonise it and kick them out. this happened with malls in the 80s and diners in the 50s and pool halls in the 20s. my dad was doing research on this trend in like 1975. and I was like "yeah so this is going to happen to the internet" and then five years later every government suddenly decided to ban kids from everywhere online. I hate being right especially when I don't even get paid for it

[pussypopstar]

can I come over and look at you like this

[depsidase]

[hppjmxrgosg]

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

[hairspraywhore]

>no idea what a tumblr accent even is

>”oozes off of me like a thick miasma”

[psych-is-the-name]

im angry at myself for walking into that so perfectly

[beemovieerotica]

someone on reddit shared texts of her and her husband's exclusive english dialect and it's beautiful

[beemovieerotica]

a linguist is analyzing it

[dovesick]

various types of pigeons

[mikkeneko]

After years of living in the adulting world, I think I’ve come to a realization: Manners exist to guide you to good conduct even when you’re in a bad mood.

When you’re happy, when you’re feeling generous, when you’re pleased with your gift or your service or your outcome, it’s easy to be nice. It’s easy to tip the waiter well when you’ve had a good day. It’s easy to thank the teller or the clerk when you got what you wanted out of the transaction. It’s easy to smile and chit-chat with strangers on the road when you’re in a good mood.

It’s hard to tip the waiter when you didn’t enjoy your food. It’s hard to thank the clerk for their time when you’ve just been told there’s a problem with their account and they weren’t able to fix it for you. It’s hard to think of something nice to say when your aunt gave you a crappy sweater you neither need nor want. It’s hard to be nice to people when you’ve had a shitty day. It’s HARD.

That’s what manners are for. Scripts and phrases that you learn by rote to say when you can’t think of a single nice or good thing to say from your own volition. Yes, they’re scripted. Yes, the sentiment is empty. But the scripts work in every situation, and the emptiness provides a buffer between your own unhappiness and the rest of society. The fact that they are empty means that they are not heavy to carry.

Because most of the time, it’s not the waiter’s fault that the food you ordered wasn’t what you expected. It’s not the clerk’s fault that your account is overdrawn. It’s not the fault of the barista or the stranger on the subway that you got fired today or your favorite aunt died. But even when you can’t summon a smile or a cheery word, you can still have manners, because they will serve you the same in sunshine or rain.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

do any of you even enjoy reading or watching fiction at all? if i wanted the plot with virtually nothing else i would read the wikipedia page

[marzipanandminutiae]

meanwhile I, Redwallpilled since childhood,

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[charlesoberonn]

I like this meme because the stock photos make it seem like the same woman but 10 years older.