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oozey mess
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@murrandpurr
how do i get a sfw sasuke big enough to oblitherate my entire dashboard
why did they have to specify sfw
ITS A REFERENCE
Mobile Users experience a long boi
do you love the color of the sasuke
I’m sorry everyone I had to it’s too funny
precisely the correct music for this wet animal creature
Schrödinger’s boys
FUCK
What about cracking open a cold milkshake
As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.
mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town
it’s dangerous to go alone. take this
thanks
My parents are getting ready to sell the house which may prove difficult due to the following
The padlocked basement door that leads nowhere and doesn’t unlock
Claw marks on the inside of the crawlspace like room upstairs
Several ghosts
The false back in my sisters closet leading to another crawlspace with melted candles and newspapers we were too afraid to move
Claw marks on the inside of the old computer room door
A third carpeted crawlspace
Popcorn ceilings
YES all of these things were there when we bought the house
YES my family is white
and YES I did grow up in a horror movie thank you for asking
Everyone hating on the popcorn ceilings instead of literally everything else is valid that was truly the worst part of living there
reblog if youre an idiot. reblog if youre just a fucking fool.
The ongoing saga of Harker and the stapler
My ball python, Harker, is really scared of this one stapler.
Every time he sees it, he balls up.
I was grading today and sure enough, the stapler was still scary.
However, for the first time, I introduced a second stapler!
He was nervous at first…
But it didn’t take him long to warm up to it.
Pretty soon it became his best friend!
There was nothing the new stapler couldn’t do!
Including protecting him from the other stapler.
The moral of the story?
My snake is a weirdo.
Update: Today I took Harker to my office, where he met another stapler.
He was fairly apathetic at first, but eventually they got on pretty well!
This stapler was smaller than either of the others, but one thing was sure: this stapler was definitely not scary!
Am I any closer to understanding my snake’s strange relationship with staplers?
Absolutely not.
UPDATE: it’s 2016 and I’m pleased to announce that he’s FINALLY gotten over his fear of the stapler!
He likes it now!
Tell him I’m proud of him
This post is so pure!
This is the best story.
one snake’s journey to overcome his fears
when people send your friends anon hate
its like. thats his truck and hes ordering from a drive through at 12am
chicken samwich and scratch my butt please.
me, tentatively, afraid to get my hopes up
oh shit I took a wrong turn at Michaels and wandered directly into the dragon aisle send help
goddammit It's everything I ever wanted out of a monster toy as a child right down to the eyeburning metallic color scheme
I think I'm going to have to take this one home.
THEIR NAME IS DENNIS AND ALL THEY DO IS EAT HOT CHIP AND LIE
Do they get along with Wexter though? O:
YEAH.
BROS.
Feather stars are the closest thing we have to walking plants. Via here
Fuck it stack up the frogs
full offense but if my college professor can look me in my eyes while im wearing a "baby slut" crop top and mini skirt and explain the homework, high school teachers should be able to fucking handle a literal child wearing shorts smh
Walk into a job interview wearing the same thing, OP. See how far you get.
Hate to break it to you but a college lecture isn’t a job interview. You can and should wear whatever you want in college. And high schoolers should be able to wear fucking shorts. It’s hot sometimes.
