I am afraid. I know I can give so much more, but I don’t because I have given before. It was ignored and neglected. I told myself that I was okay with that. My love was freely given, not because I expected you to give it back, but because I knew that you are worthy of it.
I am afraid to give more now because what if I get drained out of the love I have in me. What if when the truly deserving one comes and I couldn’t give him anything because I wasted it all out on you? What if I’m left out dried up and someone comes asking for a drink of water and all I can offer him are my tears?
But what if it was you all along? What if I’m depriving you of the love you have received just because it pains me? Is it meant to hurt? I have always known that love hurts but what if it doesn’t? What if it doesn’t have to?
My friend always said I was always too analytical. What if the reason was I was thinking for both of us. You never think things through, that’s why I do it for you. Could that be the same reason why I love this deeply? Because I’m loving for the both of us? You never really cared that much, that’s why I do it for you.