You Have Permission to Speak Freely - Coulson

Sending you this cuz I know/love that you do Jewish MCU headcanons and I was thought of Jewish Peter Parker insisting that Spider-MAN was 100% accurate since he's had his bar mitzvah so technically it shouldn't matter that he still sounds like a child... Anyway I was wondering if you had other Jewish Peter Parker headcanons, you're always so good at them ❤

OH MY GOD ANON I LOVE THIS SO MUCH?

Because, like. On the one hand it’s just fun and funny and silly in the way we want Spidey to be- him being young and naive enough to take a command (like “You’re an adult in the Jewish community now” farther than it’s maybe intended.

But on the other hand, this is exactly what’s intended. Superheroes- at least, the best ones- are basically the living embodiment of “If not me, then who?” They’re trying to make the world a better place than it was. And that is the responsibility of any Jewish adult. Peter getting bit by a radioactive spider and saying “Well, shit, looks like my only option is tikkun olam” is SUCH A FUCKING RIDICULOUSLY JEWISH CHOICE.

Like- if Peter was already comfortably Spidey in Civil War, in the MCU he had to be pretty close to his Bar Mitzvah when he became Spider-man. Which means that it happened right in that time where you’re taking the idea of what b’nai mitzvot means super seriously. You’re suddenly expected to view the world as something you can fix. You’re considering what it means that you’re suddenly an adult, and that you have these new responsibilities, and how can you live up to them.

In that context, with great power comes great responsibility isn’t just about being a superhero, it’s also about being called to the bimah, and permission to read the Torah, and the ability to join a minyan. In that context, developing fucking spider powers must feel like a sign of how being a Jewish adult encompasses so much more than you could ever imagine, both in terms of pivilege and in terms of obligations.

Maybe “Spider-boy” could walk past someone who needs help, but “Spider-man” could not. In choosing that name, Peter is unequivocally embracing the power and burden of Jewish adulthood.

achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily

NO BUT GUYS.

Consider:

Peter’s congregation does not, officially, know that he’s Spider-man. It is definitely his secret identity and that has not been breached, he is VERY SECRETIVE, etc.

Except.

Except that they’re a community and they all know about the tragedy that took his parents, and then to lose his Uncle Ben (z’’l) on top of that.

When he started acting odd, they all thought it was grief, made it a point to keep an eye on him.

When he started asking questions about the morality of certain things- they took notice.

The way he disappeared some afternoons, even if there was a youth group meeting (and he used to be pretty good about attending those when he didn’t have clubs after school), and those always happened to be the same day Spidey footage showed up on YouTube.

The way he’s always offering to run errands and just happens to be able to do things faster than anyone else can.

The way Spider-man doesn’t seem to work on Shabbas unless there is something that really cannot be solved without him.

They see the Bugle articles about him and, as a community, reject them. The rabbi says it in his sermon: Spider-man is not a menace, he is a mensch.

In the pews, Peter Parker’s sigh of relief is loud, and everyone pretends not to hear it.

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU

achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily

#but also please consider peter debating on whether or not his powers are kosher since they came from a nonkosher animal (via @achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily)

OH SHIT

Peter asking his religious school teacher REALLY BIZARRELY POINTED QUESTIONS. Peter bringing up weird fringe Jewish theories he found on Reddit and YouTube and being like “Is this true though? IF I GOT BITTEN BY A SNAKE-” “Peter, did you get bitten by a snake? Forget religious concerns, do we need to take you to the hospital?” “DO NOT TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL”

Man, but this is actually a really interesting question! Because health and well-being takes priority over basically everything else in Jewish tradition, how does developing superpowers factor into that? Are they enhancing health and well-being, or compromising it? If it’s the former, would doing things to support superpowers be considered not just good because helping people is a mitzvah but also because it is using his body the way it was intended? By biting Peter, did the radioactive spider inadvertently perform a great service in more ways than one?

“Do aliens count as life? Would killing them bring repercussions upon me? Hypothetically speaking.”

“Am I a bad Jew if I teamed up with a non-Jew, like a…a spider or a gentile god or a sentient raccoon or something in order to fight said aliens? Hypothetically speaking.”

“Could non-kosher animals that perform a good service for a Jew be rewarded? In what ways?”

“Is it Jewish of me to get the urge to crawl into a ceiling corner and wait for flies?”

“What if I could help people, but the way in which I helped them didn’t match up with Judaism? I could follow Jewish teachings, but then I’d be helping less people…”

achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily

I think what I love most about this is that so many of these questions have halachic precedent, some even in our world, but ESPECIALLY in the MCU.

Because you know that the second Tony Stark stepped up to that mic in 2008 and said “I am Iron Man,” Jewish scholars started EXPLODING with discussions and hypotheticals about this new world they were suddenly occupying.

Plus, by the time Pete was bitten by the spider, the Chitauri attack already happened, which means rabbis in New York were at the FOREFRONT of figuring out what the shit is going on with their world and how that intersects with Jewish custom.

I’m unclear if SHIELD being infiltrated by Hydra ended up known or if they covered at least some of it up, but if it was public knowledge, that is such a huge additional thing for Jews- that this group historically associated with the Nazis is not just still around, but infiltrating the highest aspects of government. I think that would fundamentally change how Jews approach superheroes and superpowers. In fact, I think that would be a pretty big topic in youth groups and in religious classes, both dealing with kids’ fears and figuring out how to make the ones who AREN’T scared realize how deadly serious the whole situation is. And that, in and of itself, would probably change Peter’s response to becoming Spider-man; the great responsibility of it takes on new resonance in that climate.

Oh gd all I can think of now is Peter flipping his shit when he finds out about Hydra. He becomes simultaneously terrified to interact with anyone at SHIELD but also 500% ready to throw down with anyone who so much as looks at him funny. The other Avengers don’t really get it since it’s not personal to them, but Cap does (OMG CAP/SPIDEY FRIENDSHIP BONDING) since he was there when it all began.

When he first got his powers, Peter was content with saving his Brooklyn neighborhood, a small place where he could do a world of good. But after learning about Hydra (whether through the Avengers or the news), he changed his tune. This bring us to the plot of Spiderman Homecoming: Peter wanted to do more, help the Avengers, fight the ultimate evil, protect the world. But they just treated him like a little kid who doesn’t understand the consequences of his actions. Peter very much understands what is happening, which is precisely why he wants to help. He knows what has happened in the past, but now he can do something to save the future.

#can i just #jewish headcanons #some of my people...

This is making me realize- and I should have earlier, honestly- that one reason we need more diverse superheroes is that those of us from marginalized backgrounds feel the dark implications a lot more strongly. Like, white gentiles can be like “oh shit bad guys we are heroes and we don’t like them,” but a minority? They can have that response to, say, Dr. Doom, but they don’t have the luxury of abstract good-vs-bad here.

Peter can protect Queens from robbers or whatever, and that’s just friendly-neighborhood-spidermanning. But once we bring Hydra into this, he’s got to be like fuck, those are Nazis, are you aware of what Nazis do to people like me??? It’s not a hypothetical; the presence of Nazis forms a real threat to Jews, Roma, and people of color of all religions, in ways that other groups literally cannot understand. There is bone-deep intergenerational terror there. A lot of people at this point apparently think of Nazis as generic bad guys, when for us they are legitimate existential threats.

And within the world of the MCU, Hydra ARE Nazis, explicitly.

This makes me frustrated, in retrospect, that Cap2 didn’t allow Sam Wilson to wrestle with the resurgence of explicitly neo-Nazi powers in government (and perhaps point out that it’s not like those undertones haven’t been there all along), and reignites my deep concern that the two established characters shown to be Hydra were a Honduran man and a Jewish man. Marvel canon wants the benefit of Nazi enemies without recognizing that some of us are more traumatized by them than others.

I don’t think that they’re intentionally erasing the harm done specifically to marginalized groups, but that’s the impact nonetheless, when we aren’t shown having significantly stronger responses. I understand that Cap is the star of the film and also the one to have a personal connection to Hydra, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is supposed to be read as a white gentile. They want him dead because he is a threat as an individual; they want us dead because we are a threat as a people.

Which is why, I think, when it comes to headcanons, it’s up to us to reclaim what is ours, including our enemies, and our righteous fear of and anger towards them.

// it may be a while longer before I can come back. Still love and think of y'all often. My mom is cancer free now. My mom in law is getting there, she starts chemo soon.

...this morning, at dawn, my Daddy went to heaven. I'm grateful he is no longer in pain, but I'm a bit sad and mad he won't be able to hug me and the kids anymore. I was able to spend time with him before he passed, and momma and my little bro were with him as he embarked on the greatest adventure.

Seriously tho. Fuck polio [it was post polio syndrome had his body finish shutting down]. Vaccinate your damn kids.

Heartbroken over here. My mate is back home while I am states away, with my kids, so that is hard. My sister's dogs and she are here with mom. One of them is great for comfort. Just one moment at a time for me right now. I hope to get back in the saddle sometime this summer. Thanks for your patience.

#ooc:#letters from mama coulson

Still not dead, cant make it back just yet tho...

//between the zanies of four progeny, learning to navigate high school, having health issues.. over the past month my mom battled kidney cancer and won after two surgeries, my mother in law fought brain cancer and we are waiting to find out what next after her surgery, and my dad has been in icu since Friday afternoon for post polio syndrome related difficulty breathing.

So... yeah. Too much stress at the moment. So sorry. I do think of y'all all the time, and our stories. I miss you and hope you are well!!!

Um... ending on a lighter note... I've been doing drag for a bit and won the fashion show with my glitter stark beard and style. Made my fat ass feel good about itself. Couple girls hit on me and I danced wirh one. Was the first time I got to feel what popular could be like. When life settles down I'm gonna start performing maybe. I do miss it. Also I have been learning to work bobbin lace, which is fun. I like learning "dying" skills. Ima make the apocalypse faaaabulous~.

Ok. I love you guys. Be excellent to each other! There's a lot of crummy stuff go in down these days, so do your best to be a bright light in it! If a time traveller can change the future via butterfly effect small, than we can too!

Fly my pretties and rain down random kindness to all around you like a Troll' s glitterfart!

#ooc:#letters from mama coulson #mwah

// not DEAD. Just life kicking my ass. Love you all. Be excellent to each other! Bai

//

We liiiiive! Lofe is a butt kicker but I wanted to make sure we got on to wish every a happy Hanukkah and Christmas and Kwanzaa and Yule.

Much love!

#ooc:

//

Tough first school week. After school the first day we lost a family pet to heart failure. Same AsD. one 2 years ago. Simba lived with us for a year while my friend was looking for a home. We have known him since he was a kitten. It was really hard on all of us. Bff and I are going to look at a possible new comfort kitty tomorrow afternoon.

Other than that the kids are well. Like their teachers and aides. And are glad the week IS over.

Why does high school start so early in the morning?!

Surviving but short on time. Will be back soon. Be excellent to each other!

#ooc:

//SCHOOLSTARTSTIMORROW

3 buildings. 4 kids. Ahhhhh!!

[Eldest is starting high school and has no desire to tumble. They have a dope ass deviant art tho.]

Edit:fixed the link to her thingy

rp-meme-glaceon

THANK YOU for sticking around!

Thank you for following me

Thank you for dealing with my awkward phases

Thank you for dealing with my emotional moments

Thank you for sending in Asks

Thank you for waiting patiently during my hiatuses

Thank you for being such a good group of followers!

#ooc:#I LOVES YOUZE GUYZE!

On the road again

The past weeks had been a nice vacation from the stress of trying to fit in with civilian life. He and Natasha had found a decent, if not large, camper-style unit, easily pulled by the truck he had gotten after his Lola had given up the ghost. It was utilitarian, but for them that was more comforting than luxury.

Phil set down his tablet after looking at the news sources. Something hinky was going on in the next town over. They may be our of the game... But that had never been able to give him a blind eye.

They were parked at the edge of a Wal-Mart lot, plugged in and a good night rest away from getting his fingers in what looked like non-terrain pie.

"Something strange is going on around here," he commented, knowing his fellow ex-agent would hear him.

@punchyourwayout

#punchyourwayout

trixtergoddess

Lulu smiled and nodded as she took his hand. “Of course, you’re always welcome in my bed. Then again, so is Yule- be prepared for morning.”

Phil chuckled. “Of course.” he smiled and gave her a soft kiss. “I’ll go change into some pyjamas and join you shortly’” he promised.

trixtergoddess

Lulu checked in on Yule before heading to change for bed. She decided on a tank top and shorts, comfort rather than sex appeal.

#trixtergoddess #highlander verse

Phil pulled on an old pair of comfortable button down pyjamas, short in the sleeve and long in the leg, after bringing them to the bathroom with him. He stopped on the way to the bedroom to clean his teeth. Once done, he went to knock gently on the door.

A touch too close

iamxtheweapon:

my-name-is-not-agent:

He took their plates and rinsed them, tucking them into the dishwasher. “I’m on mandatory leave until my checkup tomorrow, so we’re a bit loose ends. Anything you feel like spending the afternoon doing?”

Clint gave a small smile, before shrugging. It wasn’t very frequently that they had an actual afternoon of nothing- and Clint didn’t want to waste it- but he also didn’t want to do too much either, not after how stressful it’d been.

“You pick?”

Phil hummed a moment, looking at his beloved sub. “Zoo?”

#it really is!#collar verse #iamxtheweapon

Phil smiled, glad he would have the chance to return the care Clint had shown him the past few days. He took his sub's hand and led him to the bathroom, turning and gently divesting him of his clothing. "Let me take care of you?" he asked.

Second star to the right

Phil sighed, sitting back and pushing the AAR away from him as he pinched the bride of his nose. It hasn't been an easy mission, and he was glad it was well over. There were moments he wasn't sure he would see his archer again, and those were always high on his list of do not wants.

Clint should be dropping in any moment now, and then they could go and leave this mess behind him. Hopefully.

#shieldshawk #missed you!

lady-llewellyn

Making Port| Closed RP

lady-llewellyn

The Fae Queen loved hearing him growl–in anger or lust, it didn’t matter. Something about her mate’s wild side just did things to her nethers. Well, every inch of her. Ellyn whined as he slipped his fingers within and whispered against her neck. Her head fell back a bit more after a moment and she panted. Licking her lips, she shuddered against the wall and raked her nails along his back. One moment she trembled on the edge and the next she whimpered his name as she clenched around his fingers and climaxed. “Oh…Phil!” @my-name-is-not-agent

#good to see you again #augment verse #ladyllewellyn #nsfw

He chuckled low, still amazed at the fae magic she used like breathing. "Impatient?" he asked, kissing down her spine as he unzipped her dress.

The copy machine deserved it.

my-name-is-not-agent:

“I’m trying,” Phil said quietly. “I…don’t know why it’s so hard to pull myself together this time, I’m sorry,” he added even softer, ducking his head and leaning into Jasper to try and steady himself.

“Well that one’s easy.” Jasper remarked as he applied the slightest pressure to pull Phil to press against his chest. “You’re not supposed to pull yourself together, you’re supposed to let me do it.”

#owie.#smacks phil #collarverse #askagentsitwell

Phil but back a whimper, turning it into a shaky sigh as he closed his eyes and took in the comfort provided so easily to him. Being in distress made it hard to think reasonably.

He knew if he couldn’t break through his conditioning and let Jasper do his damn job, he would be unfit…for anything at SHIELD… And that was all he knew anymore. He couldn’t go back to the military and his reaction times were unfit for teaching. Unfit. Just like him right now.

“I want to.” he did. He knew it in his knower, but his gut was making it hard to get out of his own way. He trusted Jasper with his life, had done for years now, but this felt fragile- trusting him as a Dom instead of [as well as?] a friend.

He had trusted Doms before.

Still. This was Jasper.

“How do I get unbrainwashed?” he said softly into jasper’s shirt, curling his bulk small against him in a way that felt…good.

The copy machine deserved it.

my-name-is-not-agent:

“I’m trying,” Phil said quietly. “I…don’t know why it’s so hard to pull myself together this time, I’m sorry,” he added even softer, ducking his head and leaning into Jasper to try and steady himself.

“Well that one’s easy.” Jasper remarked as he applied the slightest pressure to pull Phil to press against his chest. “You’re not supposed to pull yourself together, you’re supposed to let me do it.”

#owie.#smacks phil #collarverse #askagentsitwell

Phil but back a whimper, turning it into a shaky sigh as he closed his eyes and took in the comfort provided so easily to him. Being in distress made it hard to think reasonably.

He knew if he couldn’t break through his conditioning and let Jasper do his damn job, he would be unfit…for anything at SHIELD… And that was all he knew anymore. He couldn’t go back to the military and his reaction times were unfit for teaching. Unfit. Just like him right now.

“I want to.” he did. He knew it in his knower, but his gut was making it hard to get out of his own way. He trusted Jasper with his life, had done for years now, but this felt fragile- trusting him as a Dom instead of [as well as?] a friend.

He had trusted Doms before.

Still. This was Jasper.

“How do I get unbrainwashed?” he said softly into jasper’s shirt, curling his bulk small against him in a way that felt…good.

The copy machine deserved it.

my-name-is-not-agent:

“I’m trying,” Phil said quietly. “I…don’t know why it’s so hard to pull myself together this time, I’m sorry,” he added even softer, ducking his head and leaning into Jasper to try and steady himself.

“Well that one’s easy.” Jasper remarked as he applied the slightest pressure to pull Phil to press against his chest. “You’re not supposed to pull yourself together, you’re supposed to let me do it.”