True tales of a 'real' girl

gay and queer nonbinary butch. legal scholar for fun and for pay | she/they or he or w/e idc | Born in the 1900s

[doctorsex69]

dont like me? blow up

[sixty-silver-wishes]

sorry america but you’ve been really mean. and I don’t want to go to your birthday party in two days

[adonischildsupportcase]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[bakersfield-row]

I’m going to have a fucking breakdown

[karatekamania]

HAAAANK! NO HANK!! THAT'S NOT A BACTERIOPHAGE! THOSE WOULD BE WAY SMALLER THAN A TARDIGRADE! THAT'S A RADIOLARIAN, A TYPE OF UNICELLULAR EUKARYOTIC ORGANISM KNOWN FOR ITS ELABORATE MINERAL SKELETONS! HAAAANK! THAT'S THE WRONG MICROBE!!!

[mysteriousmaninatrenchcoat]

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

transparent johnny appleseed! please drag him around your dash so that he can plant apple seeds wherever he goes!

🍎

[wayneradiotv]

Lock your doors tonight

[neiljostenpussyindulgence]

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”

[bandtshirt]

do y’all remember before direct messages tumblr had a dumbass ask limit of 10 per hour and communication was impossible until they introduced dumbass fan mail and we were basically sending telegraphs back in forth trying to communicate those were…dark times

Do y'all remember when they finally gave us direct messages and instead of doing it normally, they gave it to a few people at a time and we had to infect each other with it like a virus

[piedude]

[abandonrun]

remember when any post with more than like 6 people talking was unreadably smushed except for the last few additions remember when any post of over 500 characters became a link back to op’s blog readmore style remember when video and audio posts had about a 10% chance of working when you click play

[curseofsisyphus]

As a recent user I love finding out shit like this from older users. What the fuck guys???? Why were you USING IT AT ALL?!??

[dono-harm-totonystark]

believe it or not, we liked that more

[thefloralpeach]

its worth noting that immediately after these updates that made everything better, we were all angry about it

[wetorturedsomefolks]

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

[teratocrat]

paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for experimental elective dental surgery where they fill my mouth with shark teeth so i can give worse blowjobs

[cyancees]

yaoi between two beautiful knights who keep ending up fighting each other but it turns out both of them are pretending to be men in order to be knights so its actually secret beautiful butch yuri. picture this

[cyancees]

one is the handsome gentlemanly princely type with long hair riding on a white horse that all the ladies fawn over, the other is the badass grim bulky type with scars and a scowl and a big ass broadsword who always aura farms in the corner of the tavern alone

[cyancees]

yep exactly

[epicsause-official]

just got an idea for a banger couples shirts design

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

[averagejoey2000]

[dingdongyouarewrong]

well damn . egg on my face

[dingdongyouarewrong]

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

[averagejoey2000]

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

[averagejoey2000]

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

[averagejoey2000]

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

[averagejoey2000]

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

[arienai]

[mochipuchi]

[catroidvania]

[ceruleanheaven]

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

[alleesaur]

the productivity creatures

[eretzyisrael]

[iswearbyalltheflowers]