Yevgeny Milkovich @mydadsareghettomarried - Tumblr Blog

How Obama joked: here is a video of my birth *shows clip from Lion King*

How Trump jokes: haha my vice president wants to kill all the gay people

Hey future historians, please note that although tumblr is a fountain of hyberbolic sarcasm, there is exactly 0% sarcasm or hyperbole in this post.

satanicblowjobs

Proving a point to my boyfriend.

PLEASE REBLOG if you (male or female) believe it is perfectly okay and natural for a guy of any age to cry

alpha-blu

I’ve never hit reblog faster or harder.

zootedboy

hater: youre ugly

me: AND??? WHATS NEXT??

ironmess

rdj kissing josh brolin on the lips is such a power move. the man doesn’t give a single fuck. he’s the male protagonist archetype of this century but he will kiss as many guys as he pleases because he can and there’s nothing hollywood can do about it

tinynebula

i love how the media has rdj as this manly hetero Man Of Iron™ but he lives on a diferent dimension where sexuality is whatever the fuck he wants it to be. he will kiss man and women as he pleases. he will dress in pink and yellow and not give a single fuck.

iwantcupcakes

MIRA–

Y SU FAVORITO–

theironman

robert has always not given a single fuck for people’s views in what he should wear and how openly affectioned he can be with men. he’s not here for fragile masculinity and heterosexuality. he will continue to kiss, hug and shower them all with love.

lostinthoughtsandfeelings

😍

daydur

Since the photos above focus on him kissing men, I feel the need to also add a few examples of his i don’t give a fuck outfits:

iolanthee

1) he’s a fashion disaster

2) all the guys getting kisses from him are literally b e a m i n g . they love it. they want more

feralpussylover

This is on my dash again and the only day I don’t reblog this is the day I’m dead.

supremehusbands

THIS IS MY HOLY GRAIL

stardust-revengers

I want to be his best friend.

ssironstrange

never not reblog this

vulcanette-deactivated20260506

I love an affectionate and fashionable man. 😍

musclenheels

nova-loves-cats

Concept: A gender reveal party but AFTER the kid is born.

Like when the kid is 6 or 12 or 18 or 24. When the kid has decided what their gender is or isn’t.

profmeowmers

sicknare

just-shower-thoughts

Maybe instead of promoting that any gender can wear makeup and look beautiful. We can instead promote that no one has to wear makeup to be beautiful.

just-shower-thoughts

A staple of Burger King is the random onion ring in the order of fries

iguanamouth

idea: bath bombs but when they r done doing a fizzle, there’s a tiny sea monster/creature instead of the prizes they sometimes do

ive never even used or eaten a bath bomb before thank you so much

fapitalism-deactivated20120910

raisemysonbootlicker

This is the money Patrick. Reblog so money will come your way

gvldenhour

“I’m getting back in line.”

sniggadoodles

OKAY but i just reblogged this last night and guess what i got today from my workplace’s self-audit!

THANK YOU PATRICK FOR FREE MONEY

musinvenusian

BLESS ME PATRICK

lily-d247

PATRICK I HAVE NEVER STRAYED YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU

ghara2

@billshitposts

billshitposts-deactivated201608

*rolls sleeves* aight dude lets get me some money

merakid-0

Can i just *Gets in line*…there

dickzoned-deactivated20200818

Y'all I reblogged this and got $240 in tips in one day at work so 🤔🤔🤔

mimiboobookitty

I am calling money into my life

sensei-aishitemasu

Deadass tho I reblogged this and got some money I had been waiting on for months deposited into my account. Not even kidding

lacqueluster

It couldn’t hurt…

sosuperawesome

Patches, Embroidered Hats and Pins, by Starseed Supply Co on Etsy

See our ‘patches’ tag

mickeyandmumbles

dreamlightasafeather

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

Here is an example video

t-pose-to-assert-gayness

Reblog to literally save a life

anotherdayforchaosfay

I’ve done this. I’m alive because of this.

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her. She had passed out in her room and locked the door. He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex. He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”. He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge. I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking. He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”. Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report. Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me. Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison. The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen.

This was 14 years ago.

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can. The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.” I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.” I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

They’ve heard this sort of coded call before. They’re trained for it. They will understand what you’re saying. Order the pizza.

torios

Really though. I’m in training for dispatch and this was one of the first things they taught us. Pretend you’re talking to a friend or relative, pretend you’re ordering pizza, we’ll figure it out. We’ll word questions so you can answer in an easy, casual way. Please, just make the call and we will do everything we can to help you.

skelatal-remains-deactivated201

Reblog to save a life

tastefullyoffensive

Animals Dropping the Hottest Albums of the Year (via Star-spangled-Banner)

brainbowunicorn

Sometimes I just start singing and my mom joins in

saramcclarinet

Whoa…

ep0nine

#don’t trust this #they’re probably sirens

buickey

These two are singing “O magnum mysterium” by Tomas Luis De Victoria! It’s a very pretty piece from the renaissance that has a lot of different voice parts singing totally different melodies that mesh well together. I sung tenor for a song of his as well. It sounds ethereal in cathedrals and bathrooms alike my opinion. Its the room’s ability to bounce sound and make it resonate, giving it it’s “mermaid siren” like quality. It sounds great. Congratulations, you both! Sounds very pretty and seems like a fun time to clean with things like that.