Constant Headache. @myhawki - Tumblr Blog

WARMTH.

i enjoyed warmth. like, how my numbing lips touch the brim of my lukewarm coffee mug or how the warm water caresses my skin during cold mornings. i loved feeling of being warmed up because i wasn’t a big fan of cold days (it’s an on and off with me).

my friends say i even exude warmth. my presence is warmth. my aura brings a home-y feeling that seems to warm up people’s ice cold stormed up hearts. (

but you were different.

i tried, i tried to make your heart melt. i blew into my hands, rubbed them together and i tried to touch your heart. it didn’t work.

i tried, i tried to make you feel my comfort. i wrapped my arms around your neck and tried to make you feel the heat that i exude. but, your ice cold heart underneath your icy skin was still solid.

i tried, i tried to make you feel my presence. i laughed and i tried to joke around with you. but, you were stiff and you emotions were numbing me day by day.

they said eventually i’d run out of warmth and i was wasting it on people like you. they told me i would get an icy burn and you would be able to extinguish the center of my flame with the constant flicks of cold.

but i didn’t listen.

and i did. i did get burned. ironic isn’t it. but that’s the point, warmth is not enough to burn you, it’s the feeling. i don’t have the capacity to hurt people with my warmth but your demeaning cold aura did have that said capacity that i lacked.

and i did, i did get burned. your fingers lingered around my flames a little longer and they slowly diminished into thin air and i had no idea it was gone till i needed it.

till i needed my own warmth. till i needed to feel comfort from all the pain i caused myself to feel from trying to warm you up.

i guess i should’ve known.

i guess i should’ve known from the beginning when you held my hand looking for warmth, that i would eventually use it up on you.

i guess i should’ve known from the beginning when we laced our fingers together and yours were cold and mine were lukewarm. we clashed, our temperatures clashed.

i don’t blame you, i don’t blame you at all. because i pushed myself to give you this source of warmth that i thought i would never lose.

but now i’m lost and i’m cold, wrapped around a blanket but the temperature is still relatively low. pressing my numbing hands together, oh boy, i should’ve known.

i never should’ve tried warm up someone who sat on a throne made out of glass and a heart made out of stone.

definegodliness

When I first entered your orbit I knew I should have left while I still had the chance, but alas, your gravitational blue had already provoked a single glance, and this one reckless glance was all it took to have me helplessly caught in your pull where I found my unearthly vessel shook, determined to pay any price in full; I loved you ( as I would – at any cost – ) for you pulled me beyond the edge of space where for the first time I didn’t feel lost, so much did I revel in your love’s grace. Ne'er in my wildest dreams did I foresee I’d be tossed back on earth so callously.

lyricsinthenight

winter // pvris

lanahack-deactivated20220927

Casey // Hell

allcapslyhrics

bury your flame // la dispute

lyricallyobsessed

Figures // Jessie Reyez

sunsetquotes

How long they choose to love you will never be your decision.

Drake; Thank Me Now (via sunsetquotes)

lyrics-and-music

Late Nights In My Car // Real Friends

cheaphalloweencostume

having a bunch of stuff on you in your favorite color is the real life version of video games that give you a buff for having every piece of armor in a certain set. im so strong and so fucking purple

violentwavesofemotion-deactivat

“…the celestial silence of the moon.”

— Juan Ramón Jiménez, from “Portrait of an Unseasonable Time,” wr. c. 1911

tattoowoonz

Art By: Tukoi

bananonbinary

one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.

DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU’RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.

redheadhatchet

One of my college professors used to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” I didn’t understand that for years because I didn’t do anything poorly, I couldn’t do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly.

But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting. Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible. Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible. Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly… because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.