they think im a weeb because of you!

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@mynameisnuts
they think im a weeb because of you!
nothing makes me more nervous than my bus taking a different route then it normally does like???? where are u taking me
me: I’m the king of public transportation, a ghoul haunting the streets that run like veins through this city-
the bus: turns left where it normally goes straight
me: I am naked and alone in this universe and no one is watching over me
look at them
reblog if ur proud of this chicken persuing a higher education
slides nasa $10 so, tell me about the aliens
Slides the aliens $20 so, tell me about NASA
aliens slide nasa $50 so, Shh
NASA(crying): we finally have enough money for rockets
waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
waitress: sir please stop cyring
dentist: open up please
me: sometimes i get sad
I was at a party last night and this weird nerd guy was screaming and punching the wall whenever he missed at beer pong and I cornered him later and I was like “Hey, can I give you some constructive criticism?” And he was like “Uhh ok.” And I was like “People would like you a lot more if you weren’t going around screaming and punching walls like a fucking creep.” And he got really scared and asked “Are you going to kill me?” And I literally dont understand how he got that from what I said. I think I’m scarier than I realize.
you shoulda killed him just as a power move
Oh don’t hold back eBay? Go fucking raw with my $10 coupon? Just absolutely fucking wild? $10 coupon?
Are you ever ok
NO
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank You” will suffice. None of this “How did you get in my house” business. So rude
all of tumblr on december 17th
this is me and my meat at 2 am
しぬwwwwwwwwwwしぬwwwwwwwwww( 佐藤チャン さんのツイート )
THE,,, TH HANDCUFFS ON HIS FEEt???
Bdsm
the pizzaman is the bird and i’m the camerman
Puntastic.
“Not all at once ladies :)” I say to the rats that bite my ankles