[sandmandaddy69]

[chellings]

[melgillman]

okay i loved scavengers reign

[gsirvitor]

[bussybajablast]

those who know

[louisegluckpdf]

google maps wrapped 2023

you confused your right and left 523 times

your most traveled-to destination was your own home

you said "girl shut the fuck up" to the voice giving directions every time it told you you'd made a wrong turn

[were--ralph]

[weirdness-is-good]

[doyouknowwhatimeme]

[crazy-brazilian]

[nesophontidae]

Get in the backhoe Shinji

[thoughtportal]

streets with rain gardens and streets without

[bluesidedown]

Hey guys. Friends. Northern hemisphere pals. Only like 10 days until the days start getting longer again.

[grox]

Spongebob, stop playin' with me pussy lips or yer fired! Agagagagagagaga

[slimygh0ul-deactivated20220208]

[tauforged]

one of my favorite things about my job that i can say to people that sounds utterly ridiculous but is technically 100% true is that one of our sea turtles keeps trying to get me to commit a felony on her behalf and gets SUPER cranky when i won’t do it

[tauforged]

this is because she is spoiled rotten and LOVES head and shell scritches. every time i go to the tank she’s in to collect water samples while she happens to be awake and swimming near the surface, she sees my hand enter the water and immediately comes over to try and get my attention, headbutting the dive platform and splashing water at me and generally making a huge fuss.

unfortunately, because she is also a ~100yr old green sea turtle, i legally cannot touch her. she’s a protected species, and a fairly prominent individual at that, and im not one of the aquarists who dives into that tank NOR am i a vet, so i’m not among the handful of people who are ALLOWED to give her scratchies. she knows all of the divers personally, and knows that i am not one of them. she doesn’t care. she wants attention and because she’s the specialest princess in the entire universe she will do anything in her power to get it.

she also throws a big ol tantrum when i end up not petting her. she’ll stick up her head to snort water at me, slap at the platform and ladder with her fins, and then swim under the dive platform and bump her shell against the bottom — she’s a 500lb turtle, which is a lot of weight for her to be throwing around. i usually have to move pretty quick to get off the platform and onto solid ground cuz there have been times where i’ve genuinely felt like i was about to lose my balance and REALLY didn’t want to end up falling into the tank.

^ myrtle, throwing a tantrum because she was unsuccessful at peer pressuring me into violating the endangered species act

[daily-spooky]

[389]

Nick Hannes

[goflowolfog]

[asaltyarchon]

Whoever made this, may your pillows always be fluffed and cool and may you never hit a red light as long as you live.

I haven’t laughed this hard in a long mf time.

[credit to liffeh on twitter!]

[hustlerose]

dwarf rave: one guy chants while everyone else rhythmically stomps their iron boots. by the end, the whole club is knee deep in rubble

elf rave: 19 hours of thrashing, acid tripping, and interpretive dancing to calm ambient music and forest sounds

orc rave: everyone stoically nods their head to the loudest and bassiest beats the realm has ever heard

[robichuwu]

[yeahiwasintheshit]

NEW HOMOPHOBIC DOG DROPPED!