Myschyf

Eating bacon at Morrissey.

[chrisriddellblog]

Credo by Neil Gaiman.

[dduane]

This.

[guerrillatech]

[teamrocketing]

Socrates and Heidegger are quaking in their boots

[figdays]

Pridosaurs Enamel Pride Pins // Pridosaur

[omghotmemes]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

The way the machine pauses like “should I do this?” before it draws the circle

[nypl]

We love our new book train. It’s helping to quickly transport materials from the stacks beneath the Stephen A. Schwarzman upstairs to the researchers who need them!

[awww-brain-no]

At first I thought this was really cool. Then I watched it with sound. Morning made.

[digitaldiscipline]

this audio is what i imagine in the background of @copperbadge’s daily life.

[copperbadge]

It’s true, this is the kind of tune that follows ambiently behind me when I’m Getting Stuff Done. They don’t even remark on it in Target anymore.

[ID: A video of book transport carts rolling around on special tracks, delivering books various places; there is no narration, but a plinky, upbeat jazz piano tune plays throughout.]

[butterfly-fics]

Au where yes. Bruno’s in the walls. But it’s straight up him refusing to see alma cuz he’s pissed. And everyone else kinda figured it out quickly, so they know he’s there basically from the get go. Pepa is the one who says. Yeah there’s no way he would have made it out of the mountains also this is the type of immature shit my brother would do. Julieta is a bit more concerned for his health and mental well-being once they start hitting a couple months and then a year. It’s not like he hasn’t hidden skmekwhere for a few days before but this…this is stupid. But If you try to drag him out he literally just gets into an impossible crawl space. If you try to trap him at night he knows ahead of time cuz he’s Bruno. Everyone KNOwS he’s shuffling around and might be half crazy and Dolores assures them he’s still kicking but it’s more of a everyone is exasperated and Bruno “cracked” finally and sometimes people pass by and knock on the walls as a greeting, but they just live accepting that Bruno refuses to come out of the walls. Sometimes people might glimpse him and if it’s a kid he might even stop to pat their head but then he’s gone and you’re not sure if you were hallucinating

Not sure if this is some borderline horror or comedy or both

No one can talk about Bruno in front of alma because she is PISSED and if he won’t see her she won’t even say his name and I know that shouldn’t be funny but like

So she pretends to the town he is gone. Because. How is she supposed to tell people her fifty year old prophet son is throwing a decade long hissy fit over god knows what and she can’t get him out of her walls

[lieutenant-columbro]

"oh, and just one more thing. those folks down in the village sir, they're real kind people, and they make terrific food too! the stuff i tried - paprika hundle, no, that's not right, it was hendl, that's it! boy, that stuff was delicious! i even got the recipe to send home to my wife. what ya gotta know about mrs. columbo, is she's a much more adventurous eater than i usually am. she'll just love that stuff, i'm sure. but i noticed somethin' funny when i was in town, too. the nice lady who made my food, oh, she was sweet as could be, really, but she seemed so worried once i told her i was comin' up here. she gave me this crucifix thing, insisted i take it, in fact. isn't that odd? i'm not much of a religious sorta guy, see, and i thought maybe you might know about - woah! hey! gee whiz, i didn't know it was gonna upset ya so much....okay, i'll put it away, no harm, no foul..."

[drlinguo]

[chamomile-g-tea]

Contact ☀️

idk anything abt science but that headline is unnecessarily soft

[gem-femme]

When y’all talk about the AIDS epidemic and Reagan, please do not leave out black people. Like for real, there’s several popular posts that circulate around this site about the epidemic in the 80’s and none of them mention black people at all, which is really upsetting to me. Black communities were ravaged by aids in the 80’s just like gay communities were. They suffered along side each other. While Reagan celebrated the deaths of gay people, he was also celebrating the deaths of black people. AIDS was killing off the “welfare queens” that Reagan and other republicans were constantly harping on about. AIDS killing black people meant less dependency on the social programs that they loathed and wanted to get rid of. It was another thing that helped them keep us from gaining power while the CIA brought crack into our communities to weaken us. And till this day, black people are contracting HIV and AIDS at the highest rates.

Please stop leaving out black people when talking about AIDS and Reagan’s response to it.

[brainjuicy]

PBS made a very informative documentary on the epidemiology and ongoing impact of HIV/AIDs on Black communities which is free to watch online: https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/film/endgame-aids-in-black-america/

[gem-femme]

Thank you so much for adding this awesome resource!

[galwednesday]

Mentally combining the "bees are unionized and will leave if they don't like their working conditions" post with the various "humans stow away on alien spaceships and do the jobs that are too dangerous for more fragile species" posts

[galwednesday]

Interstellar guidelines state that while approaching humans carelessly or aggressively can result in serious injury, and while you absolutely should not try to trap a swarm of humans on your ship, if you build a human-friendly habitat with enough food within grazing distance and safe places to sleep, you just might entice a colony to move in

[sharktoothjack]

Trapping a swarm of humans on your ship:

unauthorized tunnels keep popping up in restricted zones

theft of various items they consider cozy, delicious, cute, or extremely hazardous

equipment sabotaged in supposedly impossible ways, and/or supposedly explosion-proofed material exploding

received communications vary from heartfelt pleas for freedom to vengeful declarations of war to treatises on the sacred rights of spaceship-occupants to disturbingly specific threats to incomprehensible slam poetry

Encouraging a volunteer human colony to thrive:

leaving items they like + building materials in areas they can access, then coming back later to find those areas transformed into fully organized warehouses/gardens/workshops

items left lying around spontaneously being made cuter, cozier, tastier, and/or more hazardous

new workarounds, temp fixes, or repurposes being tried out on any equipment that's on the fritz (and some that's not)

disturbingly creative and fervent allies against outside forces

sound of happy poetry coming from the vents

[thesaltofcarthage]

this post combines two of my favorite things and I am ASCENDING

[the-haiku-bot]

this post combines two

of my favorite things and

I am ASCENDING

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[elfwreck]

Warning that humans are a symbiotic species, strongly prone to all three types of symbiosis: mutualism, commensalism, and parasitism. To encourage a mutualistic symbiosis, follow recommended guidelines for available space, accessible materials, and living conditions.

Humans will not restrict their symbiotic relationships to the dominant sentient species on a starship. It is highly recommended that, if you have discovered a nesting colony of humans on your ship or starbase, you provide them with the recommended resources. Otherwise, they may wind up in a symbiotic relationship with various predator species. Or your AI bots. Or carnivorous fungi.

Don't ask. Just make sure they've got the kind of supplies that will let them be comfortable.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

consider: a Scrubs-esque dramedy but about lawyers instead of doctors

I am not talking something like Suits, because in Suits a lot of the comedy is derived from hijinks and wisecracking. nor am I talking about something like Boston Legal with the whole bunny-ears lawyer thing providing a lot of the jokes.

oh no. I mean stuff like “oh god what even is a pleading anyway I never did this in law school” and “please lord just let me wipe the smirk off of opposing counsel’s face” and “damnit patricia WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU NOT TO DO FOR THE GOOD OF YOUR CASE AND ALSO MY SANITY?”

[takiki16]

I would Fite and Dye for a Brooklyn Nine-Nine style comedy about public defenders instead of cops.  

ALL the satire about the System.  ALL the frantic dashing between departments - it becomes a running joke that the protagonists can’t speak to each other when morning arraignments are happening, they have to dash past each other at full speed exchanging increasingly comedic shorthand.  ALL of the Weird Cases that come up when you just have to stick your head out of the office door and shout BOB, the HORSE guy is back and they DENIED MY MOTION to allow the chihuaha in the courtroom! 

I mean, this show wouldn’t even need to hire writers to make it bizarre, submissions from counties all over the country would just start pouring in.

and so much salt.  SO much salt.  One of the protagonists shows up with the client’s actual literal priest and fifteen eyewitnesses and the DA still refuses to dismiss.  

[bemusedlybespectacled]

YES PLEASE THIS, and also with a dash of like, you know how in Parks and Rec, the townspeople are just Like That? like the lady who gets upset because she drank the sprinkler water despite the sign saying not to? like That, but clients

“why did you violate the protective order against you?” “because my girlfriend called me and it made me upset, so I went to her house and punched her in the face and then kicked her dog. what was I supposed to do?” “NOT THAT! especially after I told you not to violate the protective order. no, actually, let me rephrase: I didn’t tell you not to violate the protective order, the judge told you not to violate the protective order because of that bit in there that says ‘if you violate this order, you go to FUCKING JAIL’.” “wow, you just don’t get how hard it is to not punch people in the face.” “oh, believe me, I am intimately and immediately familiar with that struggle.”

[takiki16]

YESSSSSSS YES YES YES.  the spirit of sprinkler lady is an eternal struggle and embodies exactly what I neeeeeed:

An ongoing list of recurring Client characters in [as yet unnamed Public Interest Law Show]:

In One Ear, Out The Other (alternatively: I Showed Up To My Drug DUI Arraignment In A Bong T-shirt)

the Sovereign Citizen (no, you actually don’t have a fundamental right to do that, and the cops Will GET YOU)

the Better Lawyer Than You (because Google is totally the same as a J.D., right?)

the Flirt (you’re literally in an orange jumpsuit behind glass for violating a restraining order, please STOP)

Your Anger Is Reasonable, But That Doesn’t Make You Any Easier To Deal With (please stop screaming, or the front desk will call security on us again)

The Scary One (please understand that when I smile, I’m trying to be friendly and professional and I am NOT laughing at you)

The Heartbreaker (catchall client for the ones who are getting screwed over repeatedly by the system but your office isn’t resourced/designed/allowed to give them the help they need)

An ongoing list of recurring Opposing Counsel characters:

Tired Old White Man In Wrinkled Suit (bonus wild tie)

Tired Old Person Who Still Finds Time To Be Demeaning To You (tries for parental vibe, actually is condescending)

That One Kid You Hated In Law School (got the internship the same time you did.  This is a three-episode arc for one of the protags)

Rich Whippersnapper Who Looks Down On Poors (dresses better than you, never quite makes eye contact) 

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I feel the Better Lawyer Than You Client in my soul. and just to add to the Opposing Counsel Cast List:

How Did You Get This Job When You’re So Bad At It (with bonus Imposter Syndrome on the order of “if they’re that bad and still have a job, I must also be that bad”)

The For-Profit Lawyers (swans into court whenever they want, files whatever they want, constantly and undeservedly smug. bonus points if they’re from The City)

The Fool for A Client (says they’re going to represent themselves, proceeds to look stupid in front of the judge and everyone else, and you, protagonist, have to try to negotiate with them like a reasonable person)

also, there is a running gag that we only ever see one court clerk (whose name is Brenda), but she is played by a different actress wearing the same costume and hairstyle every time we see her (sometimes switching actresses inexplicably between shots).

[bemusedlybespectacled]

this blew up a little bit and I’m getting two different responses:

1. “actually this is exactly like [other legal media property]”

2. “I AM A LAWYER. I HAVE WAITED NINE MILLION YEARS TO SPILL ALL OF THE FUCKING TEA AND MY MOMENT HAS COME.”

[msvelawciraptor]

I want the title of this series to be my *favorite* client title for us…

Public Pretender

Coming this fall

[mirkwoodest]

The story of Taika and Jemaine meeting in university and instantly disliking each other before even speaking because they were both judging the other for cultural appropriation is one of my favorite things.

[mirkwoodest]

The "If you were over 6 feet tall and living in Wellington in 2001 you didn't have a choice my dude" is killing me, like I'm just picturing the LOTR casting directors running around Wellington with a measuring tape, black-bagging tall guys and shoving them into vans.

"You're a Lord of the Rings extra now."

"No! Please! I have a family! I'm supposed to work the closing shift at the Pita Pit tonight!"

"You serve at the pleasure of the Steward of Gondor now."

[amateur]

she is going home to make soup. (via)

[pyre-the-thing]

Reblog for soup girl

[bloody-batty]

REBLOG FOR SOUP GIRL‼️

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Yet if I were a young man traveling in a foreign country where religious villagers kept warning me not to visit a mysterious nobleman (but refused to even speak of what precisely was so scandalous about his nature) my first thought would be less "the Count is a supernatural being who will murder me and my loved ones" and more "the Count is an infamous homosexual and the repressed villagers fear for my chastity, I am surely in danger of seduction 😏😏😏"

[anxietyproblem]