Technoblade Quotes
THESE ARE NOT IN ANY PARTICULAR ORDER! THEY ARE JUST IN THE ORDER THAT I HEAR THEM! ALSO, I DIDN’T FIND ANY OF THESE ON MY OWN, I JUST KINDA OF WATCHED COMPILATIONS AND SUCH Feel free to add your own if you want
“Help Dio I’m being chased by a minority!”
“¡AY CARAMBA DÓNDE ESTÁ LA BIBLIOTECA!”
“I drop kicked that child in self defense. You’ve got to believe me.”
“We got my boy Jacob here. He mines cobblestone for me all day. I don’t pay him and he also has no rights. ‘But Technoblade doesn’t that kinda of sound like…’ Shhhhhhhhhhh. I need cobblestone.”
“It’s alright, as someone who went to college, I know you can’t lose what you never had. But you can go into debt.”
“You want to be a hero Tommy? THEN DIE LIKE ONE! Ok, why isn’t this spawning? Why is this not spawning? This is very awkward.”
“I play minecraft! *whispers* Don’t tell my parents, they think I have a job.”
“When I first made this channel, I thought we would get here WAY faster! Hurry up losers, pick up the pace *claps* chop chop.”
“I mean everyone would hate me but hear me out here. It would be funny.”
“FREE DEATH FOR EVERYONE! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
“Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness.” (technically it’s Sun Tzu but whatever)
“Bruh.”
“Oh god he's onto me. He knows!”
“Whatever you do, don’t reveal all your techniques in a YouTube video, you fool, you moron.”
“I think the rats are trying to say that strange pigs sitting in mazes, disrupting swords is no basis for a system of government.”
“Everyone, let’s point our guns at him while we’re seated. It’s like the U.S. school system.”
“I’ve seen Irish famines with more potatoes than this farm.”
“I’m having fun. I dropped out of college for this.”
“Look I’m an atheist but when God sends me to hell, I want him to hesitate ok? I want him to hesitate for a few seconds.”
“Absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
“This man made 8 potato eleven minions… AND THEN HE PAINTED THE MONA LISA!”
“When I was a child, boats killed my parents.”
“This sounds like my parents!”
“I love hay.”
“...I studied THE CRAFT!”
“God, that toddler is getting DESTROYED! They just curb-stomped that baby.”
“PHILZA, LOOK OUT! AAAHHHH!”
“There’s two ways to get to the top: one, self-improvement, two, sabotaging literally the entire community.”
“Morale of the story here is that if you see a murder being committed, you should immediately call them a boomer.”
“Rats are very susceptible to peer pressure.”
“If Hypixel has taught me anything it’s if you have a problem, the answer is slavery.”
“It’s like drop kicking a toddler.”
“*reading chat* kill, kill, kill, kill, blood, death, do it, blood, blood, tobuscus, blood, blood, kill them.”
“Shouldn’t have given them freedom of speech.”
“HEAH!? (or however you spell that thing he does when he’s confused)
“This is a bigger disappointment than my son.”
“Books for the Book God.”
“Blood for the Blood God.”
“Like, I am so masculine and indifferent about this small animal and then it walks over and licks my foot and my brain just goes ‘OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!’”
“(some random commenter asked) ‘Is your sister single?’ Well, yes, but but she’s in first grade, so… Don’t mind me, just dialing 9-1-1.”
“Dude, these orphans are getting destroyed.”
“This is the second worst thing that has happened to these orphans in their lives.”
“THAT BABY BETTER LEARN TODAY! THAT BABY BETTER LEARN! THEY BETTER LEARN RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M GOING TO DO TO THAT BABY! I DUNNO WHAT I’M GONNA DO TO THAT BABY HE DOESN’T SH- COMPREHEND THEORETICAL PHYSICS RIGHT THIS INSTANT! I SWEAR TO GOD! YOU BETTER LEARN THOSE EQUATIONS! That is all.”
“Bro, Tommy gimme back my pants.”
“There’s no quip, it’s just judgement.”
“Why have you done this?”
“Let me just frame someone, one second.”
“Only dumb boys in this stream.”
“I just found a really large bee egg.”
