Hello Sunshine

born in the 90’s. she/her 🏳️‍🌈 mostly 18+, MINORS DNI Side blog: @mysecretdarkdesires

[gaynehollander]

I'm so glad that season two will have a bigger budget and I'm so glad it will all be blown on licensing that one Moana song Arthur Pike plays a 15 second snippet of as Shane and Ilya get married in the Pikes' living room.

[raccoonmilf]

If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.

[raccoonmilf]

Umm hello??? Do u have the death note @sharkgalaxy????

[sharkgalaxy]

cant believe i have to pick another person to outlive already

[anyonewestofbree]

Let’s climb on and chew and get chomped by mama

[egberts]

"i ate too many cookies" is truly an ageless problem. an unlearnable lesson.

[starrysostarry]

My sex condo headcanon is that Yuna absolutely knows that that exists. She’s well aware of Mr. Real Estate and would absolutely know what is going on in the books.

But Shane can’t just charge the business downstairs more rent to make up for the fact the units sit empty and emptier. Yuna will have questions. Yuna will find tenants.

Shane opens two bank accounts at two different banks and draws up lease agreements— one lessee is Jane and one is Lily and Shane can’t just have his phone number as their point of contact so in one panic induced spiral, he uses Ilya’s and he also buys his own burner phone. Why didn’t he buy two burners? He doesn’t know. It doesn’t matter. He’ll pay the rent of both units and his mom will be none the wiser that Shane is paying two rental payments to himself to keep the books clean and Yuna happy.

Which really works. It’s just like a savings account. It’s fine.

It was fine… until the playoffs the year the Voyagers win their first Cup….

Because the rent is late and Yuna can’t have the stress of irresponsible tenants distract Shane from playoffs.

So she dials the number, and yeah, she’s a little confused why a girl living in Montreal would have a US phone number but, really, in the grand scheme of things, Vermont is not that far away.

“Rozanov.” Is the only thing said over the line when the call connects.

Yuna has to pull the phone away from her face, staring at the unsaved, unknown, United States phone number in confusion and distress.

“Hello?” Comes over the line, far away from Yuna’s ears as adrenaline and confusion zip through her body like a live wire. “Is this joke? Very rude to call and not say anything.”

Yuna shakes herself, closes her eyes and takes a deep, grounding breath. “Hello, this is Yuna. Hollander. Yuna Hollander… I’m calling about the rent due at…”

After all, it’s none of her business if Shane wants to rent out a unit to his work rival to have a crash pad in Montreal.

As long as he pays the fucking rent on time.

[finny-red]

Canada’s Power Couple

[i-fear-gritty]

i think if hollanov decide to have more than one kid at least one of them will be a goalie. and you know that kid is going first in whichever draft they end up in because they practiced on shane fucking hollander and ilya fucking rozanov (because if your dads were casually the two best centres in the nhl and two of the most successful hockey players on the planet, then you defend that net like your life depends on it)

everyone else in that years draft thinks this hollander-rozanov child got picked first out of nepotism (because who the fuck is that desperate to pick a goalie first overall in the draft?) until one day that team’s starting goalie is injured and all of a sudden your scoring chances have gone to hell because you’re trying to get the puck past cerberus, the three headed dog that guards the gates of hell

[omens-of-what-is-to-cum]

love the idea of hollanovs hookups just gradually becoming more and more drawn out over the years, as they start to miss each other more and more in the interim.

when they’re finally alone after a game (after weeks of anticipation… a fresh haircut, new cologne, tailored jeans that fit just right) and they’re just all over each other. So desperate, like their skin has been on fire for weeks and the other one is the only salve that works.

And it’s all furious energy after the game and the waiting… but as they fall into the bed and it’s happening so quickly and it will be over so quickly….

they both do everything they can to draw it out without the other noticing.

Shane is trying to make his abnormally precise clothes folding seem teasing and tempting instead of a moment to take in Ilya’s presence, his eyes on Shane’s skin.

Just as Shane is about to come Ilya remembers just how short the countdown is between Shane’s orgasm and Shane leaving him alone again. So Ilya edges him to tears, revelling in Shane’s desperation but also just trying to delay the inevitable for as long as possible.

And if Shane just happens to make a mess across both of their stomachs…

And if Ilya just happens to suggest that they shower together again…

And if a shower turns into sleepy third round handjobs and they both just flop onto the hotel bed exhausted to take a nap…

Well, it’s not like the other seems to have any problem with it

[lavenderprose]

Shane also needs to interact with other gay men just to understand how truly lucky he is. He needs to hear someone go off about going on Grindr to find a top for the night and then finding out that all of the guys who have the 'Hung' tag on their profile are packing like five and a half inches at MOST and then Shane has to be like "Oh that. Yeah that sounds rough." Meanwhile he lost his anal virginity to a knockout with model looks who works out for a living and started their relationship by jerking his enormous hog at him in a communal shower which has always been one of Shane's top five fantasies. And he's literally never had to be on The Apps because he's the bottom of all time actually and the DomTop with the enormous dick imprinted on him like a fucking duckling the first time Shane came untouched under him which was, I cannot stress this enough, when he LOST HIS VIRGINITY.

Like shut the fuck up Shane Hollander how does it feel to be the chosen one. He has to confront all of this because he needs to know that he has, once again, won at life in every meaningful way. And then he can sit there like :] while that sad bottom over there bemoans the Grindr biome.

[regainingparadise]

So Shane canonically wins a third cup right before The Long Game. And I neeeed Jacob Tierney to show us that win. I need to see Shane lift the cup and hand it to Hayden. I need to it be shot for shot the same as Scott Hunter in episode 3.

I need to see everyone celebrating on the ice with their loved ones. Shane is hugged by his parents, but we again go shot for shot with Season 3 as we see him look up at the stands.

Ilya is there. He’s gotten Bood and Hayze to go to the game with him. Plausible Deniability. It’s not Ilya Rozanov going to His Rival Shane Hollander’s playoff game. It’s players from a nearby team going to a major hockey event! (During the game Ilya is shown in the jumbotron. He smiles and waves and winks. The commentators say something about how far he’s fallen, going from Boston to The Worst Team In The League. It’ll be awhile before he’s in a playoff game again ha ha.)

Shane looks up to Ilya’s seat.

Makes eye contact.

Looks away

Turns back to hugging his parents

We cut to the locker room. Same shot as his Season 1 Stanley cup celebration. Champagne is spraying everywhere. Shane is staring at his phone.

He’s not smiling this time.

[mik-mania]

im so fucking stubborn

[invader-bean]

michael what the fuck.

[mik-mania]

no its one of my fancy pencils :)

the end cap comes off :)

[mik-mania]

oh lard

[mik-mania]

my son he is sick he has every disease

[mik-mania]

we are nearing peak deviancy

[mik-mania]

happy back-to-school day

[mik-mania]

im so clever that its sickening

[mik-mania]

if i breathe wrong i'll lose him

[mik-mania]

it got too small for the clip. luckily i realized this eraser has the perfect holes

[mik-mania]

at what point does this stop being a pencil

[leahelizabeth89]

Tags via @mik-mania

[lavenderprose]

Like I just knooooow people are tired of them. Everyone knows without being told that they are having freak sex CONSTANTLY and that they are so in love about it. Like how does it feel to be together for twelve years married for one and you are STILL knocking the walls down every night. Everyone said it HAS to stop at some point and they are WRONG. Second season on the Cens Shane is still coming in routinely with bite marks on the BACK OF HIS SHOULDER and there is only one mathematical explanation for how they got there. Like ohhhh my name is Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov and the only thing I do is win Stanley Cups and have hot freaky athletic people sex with a man who would kill and die for me and I make MILLIONS OF MONEYS while doing it. I know people hate them.

[volk-swag-genitalia-deactivated]

i love you rain, i love you cold air, i love you sound of raindrops hitting the rooftops, i love you cloudy skies

[snowsmoked]

A couple months after Ilya left the cottage, he gets a notification on his phone. He thinks it’s Shane, his boyfriend, who’s been texting with him throughout the day.

Instead, it’s Yuna. But that’s not what catches his attention - it’s the group chat he’s been added to.

Hollander Family Chat Jane's mama: Hi Lily! Jane: Mom! Lily can’t have this chat name on her phone. Jane’s mama: Sorry, honey! I’ll fix it. Jane’s mama changed the group name to: Family ❤️ Family ❤️ Jane: That’s better. Just make sure her name is Lily in your phones. Jane’s papa: Done and done, kiddo! Jane: Thank you. Jane’s mama: Anyway, Lily, do you have thanksgiving weekend plans? Because I noticed you and Jane are both free that weekend and I thought…

Ilya put his phone down as Yuna detailed their thanksgiving plans. He could not tear up in the Bear's locker room.

He never imagined himself having this, never let himself consider it. Being in a family group chat. Having a family. He was pretty sure he buried that dream with his mama.

But the Hollanders welcomed him so comfortably. Even after he caused their son to lie to them. Even after all the things he’d done. They never even wanted an apology, would probably be confused if he gave one.

He’s afraid if he moves wrong it’ll all disappear.

But he has to respond because he wants to spend with holiday with them so much.

And the texts don’t stop there.

Family ❤️ Jane’s mama: Great game today, Lily! What a comeback. Lily: You watched? Jane’s mama: Of course! We watch all your and Shane’s games. Jane: Jane. Delete that text. Jane’s papa: And if we miss it, I have them on the recorder. Lily: Thank you.

~*~*~

Family ❤️ Jane’s papa: Lily, do you have any allergies? Lily: Russians do not get allergies. Jane: Yes they do and no, dad, Lily does not. Jane: Also, don’t mention being Russian.

~*~*~

Family ❤️ Jane’s mama: Lily, could I get the forwarding information for your agent? Jane got a proposal that I think will work out perfectly for you. Jane: Please call about this. Lily: Not only hockey players get proposals maybe I am famous model Jane. Lily. Jane’s papa: You could definitely be a model, kiddo! Lily: Thank you 🥰 Jane why are you unsupportive of your girlfriend. Jane: Boyfriend. Jane’s papa: Now I’m confused.

~*~*~

Family ❤️ Jane’s mama: I can’t believe the ref let Adams get away with that hit! Jane’s papa: . . .

Ilya gripped the phone waiting for David’s response. The metros had been obliterated 1-5 and Shane, fresh off a bruised wrist, didn’t play his best.

Jane’s papa: How’s your wrist, son? Jane: It’s fine. Jane’s papa: Lots of ice and elevation! You played great! Jane: I didn’t. Jane’s papa: You’ll get them next time!

Ilya breathed out, shaking his head. Shane didn’t know how lucky he was. And Ilya was so grateful he didn’t.

Eventually, Ilya even began initiating the conversation.

Family ❤️ Lily: Are you guys coming to MTL / BOS game today? Jane's mama: We are! Jane's papa: I know we can't wear any Boston merch, but we'll be rooting for you! Jane: Dad! Jane's papa: We'll be rooting for both of you! Jane: You can't root for both of us. Jane's mama: No comment. . . . Lily: I was wondering if you all wanted to come to my house after? Lily: After the game, I mean Lily: Only if you want Lily: Or don't have other plans Jane's mama: We would love too! Jane's papa: Need us to pick up anything before we come over? Lily: No, thank you. I have things to make dinner. I will send address. Lily: Thank you. Jane's papa: Of course! Have fun tonight, girls! Jane's mama: Play hard! Love you both. Jane's papa emphasized this message

Ilya could not stop smiling as he got all the ingredients together to make pelmeni. He separated the dough and the meats and sauce into separate little containers so it would be easier to make once the Hollanders arrived after the game.

He imagined doing this for years to come. Maybe when he and Shane had their own home together, making food for his in-laws, for their friends and teammates. Maybe even for their children.

For the first time in a very long time, Ilya couldn't wait for the future.

[mutinsfromthemoon]

shane without the weight of the secrecy and carrying a whole team on his back is playing way better with the centaurs. and it’s insane, if everyone thought he was already the better player in the league, he’s now definitely on a whole new level. and he’s doing well in the second line, luca haas is a generational talent so he can keeping up with shane easily, better than when pike was his winger. and shane of course is always complimenting luca and staying after practice to train extra with him so both of them can become a deadly duo — not better than the hollanov power play of course, shane and ilya are basically one entity when they play together. and you always know when shane is hyping up luca cus baby boy is more red than the red of centaurs uniform. luca is in heaven, he can play with his idols and they thing he’s good? oh baby boy is always giddy going to every practice. so yeah every team in the league is fucked

[mutinsfromthemoon]

shane and ilya are genuinely best friends and they act like it. so on their honeymoon, they’re at the beach playing some beach tennis and then betting who could reach the ocean first, and they competing who’s the fastest swimmer, and playing around, and throwing each other in the water, and chasing each other, having an absolute blast. then going back to their recliners to chill and drink some water and a group of girls comes up to them “we’re watching you guys from afar. you guys are so athletic, do you work out a lot?” and shane replies “we professional athletes so we need to keep up our form” and the group let out a oooh “are you both single?” one of them asks and ilya chuckle “no, we aren’t single. it’s our honeymoon actually” and the girls were like “oh my god, of course a beautiful pair is together” “we’re not going to disrupt you guys anymore” as they’re walking away one of them says “there’s not straight hot guys anymore” and ilya and shane look at each other and lose it. but now they’re acting like an annoying couple at the beach so there’s no doubt about the nature of their relationship

[argillaforma]

shane hears ilya’s voice coming from the bedroom and he’s confused about who ilya is talking to, thinks maybe he’s on the phone to someone. but then he walks in to ilya standing over the open drawer in shane’s bedside table voice directed at his dildo and shane is standing there confused and a little horrified because he hasn’t showed ilya his dildo yet and shane is like what is going in why are you talking to my dildo and ilya says i was looking for the spare charger but then found this and i wanted to introduce myself to mr dildo. and shane is like first of all don’t call it mr dildo actually don’t give it a name at all, second of all…why? and ilya says well i needed to see my competition and also mr dildo was the first to be inside you and i think i should thank him for making you feel so good that you wanted to try the real thing, and shane blinks five times and then leaves the bedroom without saying anything