sostarry

don’t understand what I am doing but I am doing it anyway.

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

ohhhh my god you know that postcard that's like i just moved and im drunk and this is the only address i know happy new year. ilya sending that to shane and shane wanting to find out who used to live there because it made him feel so. sad, in a way. that he needed to let them know that he got it at least. because he also just moved and spent new years alone and he wanted to make sure they knew. that the message was received. and it doesn't take a lot to find out that it was ilya that lived there and track him down on instagram and fuck he's gorgeous, a literal adonis, and shane is sooooo nervous, suddenly, to follow him and reach out. but he does. hey, sorry if this is weird. i live in your old place and i just wanted to say i got your postcard. i was alone on new years too. it made me feel better. i hung it on the fridge. thank you. and when ilya follows him back a few hours later and says thank you for telling me, makes me feel less lonely. and bonus you are very pretty for me to look at 😇 shane absolutely does not blush and wonder how far away ilya actually moved

[outromoony]

Me when the slow burn is slow burning

[blacksheepcolorfulskin]

TELL ME WHO IS PLAYING BOOD

[rainbow-femme]

Ilya would make so many “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” posts

Shane explaining a hockey play on his laptop screen to an attentive looking Anya

Shane squatted down in a grocery aisle with three different dog food bags in front of him, comparing ingredients

Shane doing yoga and Anya imitating some of his poses, Shane reaching over and slightly correcting her posture

Shane up at 4 am to shovel a path for her in the snow to go out and pee

Shane and Yuna debating which of 10 different themed bandanas goes best on Anya for that particular day

Shane carrying bags inside and Anya is trotting after him with small ones in her mouth

Shane on the dock with a ball and hockey stick, he hits the ball with the stick and sends it flying into the lake and she takes off like a rocket and jumps in after it

Ilya filming POV style of himself walking over to the couch where Shane is laying with Anya on top of him. “Can I join?” “No room.” “You are breaking my heart, Hollander. Anya, may I join?” And she shakes her head and puts it more firmly on Shane’s chest

[hollanov-ann]

[starrysostarry]

picture this:

season two’s final scene is the (almost) plane crash. it’s shaking, lights flickering, there’s the start of flames, there’s shouting and crying and broken off whimpers and prayers.

the camera in contrast to the panicked scene moves slowly through the rows, before ending on Ilya… it careens over his shoulder and you see his thumbs flying over his phone’s keyboard….

You are the best thing in my life.

A hand wipes furiously at his eyes.

I love you. Always. Maybe from the first time saw you.

shouts and screams and crying that echo like they’re far away from him and not surrounding his seat. his life is in the palm of his hand.

I am thinking only about you right now. A million memories. Thank you for those.

the sounds of other passengers gradually grow louder, closing in on the scene.

Whatever happens, I am with you. Safe in your heart. I believe it.

his finger hits the lock button, and the screen goes dark. the chaos grows loud, the lights flicker and flicker, and the screaming and crying reaches sound fever pitch….

our televisions go dark.

[gaynehollander]

Ilya, every day from July 10th 2021, until the end of forever:

[shaneposting]

ilya: good morning team

ilya: yes i saw eclipse :)

ilya: on an unrelated note marly will not be joining us for practice today. he is at the eye doctor

ilya: but rest assured. he also saw it

[alfart23]

From the Hollander’s photo album 🐞

[military-newsboys]

Ilya: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse! That’s what I always say! Shane *visibly concerned*: You should say something else

[devilleworship]

saw this on Insta and the idea that people who are anti-AI are just using it anyway like... willing to give it up? I ACTIVELY AVOID THAT SHIT BUD! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?

ALSO

It's not as if this shit has been around SOOO LONG. We all existed JUST FINE before this shit became THE THING someone decided to shove in our face like...

[boringkate]

When I was a kid watching tv was idiot coded and nerds read books, but now scrolling shortform videos is considered braindead behavior and watching tv means you're some kinda intellectual. You might think this shifting assessment of media's consumers might make readers into absolute super geniuses, but no. Only perverts read now.

[connorwyndham]

MODERN FAMILY (2009–2020) 1X02 « The Bicycle Thief »

[knownqueerbaiter]

there’s a really beautiful AU that exists in my head where shane is some sort of faceless technically-focused reviewer on youtube (like the lockpicking lawyer) and ilya is a dedicated viewer leaving increasingly horny comments about his hands and like, sending him expensive locks to pick on camera

[knownqueerbaiter]

HollanderUnlocks: Here’s my review of the Litelok X3 bike lock. It’s got its issues, but it’s strong enough for the average bike-rider.

rozzingoff: i have a handcuff lock u could help me out with ;))

HollanderUnlocks: Have you lost the key? If you are currently cuffed but able to reach your phone, I would recommend calling emergency services right away. If you are not currently cuffed: most handcuff locks are relatively simple to pick. I have some other videos on my channel where I discuss lockpicking for beginners, as well as an affiliate link where you can get a 10% discount off your first set of picks, if you don’t have any.

rozzingoff: if i were locked in them could you come save me ;)

HollanderUnlocks: I am not sure where you’re located, but if you’re in need of help, please dial your local emergency services as soon as possible.

[noah-wyles]

she's the best of us

[tolkienis4ever]

say it louder for the people in the back Dame Emma Thompson!

[penandinkprincess]

i feel like shane probably avoids most caffeine during the season to avoid potential crashes (i could be convinced to like. a strict adherence to one cup of tea/coffee a day for the benefits outside of caffeine and one little pressure relief valve of indulgence when he's not in a place where he's being WILDLY strict with himself)

but it does make me laugh to imagine that like. he still likes the comfort and routine of A Warm Beverage In The Morning, especially to have to take with him to the rink since he'll be out in the cold. so he will have hot broth in his travel mug and just sip it like a coffee.

which is all well and good until ilya (who was taking care of anya) didn't actually see that shane didn't put coffee in his mug the way he did ilya's one of their first mornings in the season, so he doesn't want to bother getting up for his in the locker room, grabs shane's instead (because also to Lovingly Annoy), only to take a sip and fucking GAG because he was expecting unsweetened coffee not whatever the FUCK he just got pranked with.

"shane!! what the fuck is in here!"

"bone broth???"

"WHY ARE YOU DRINKING SOUP, SHANE?"

"who told you to drink *my* drink??"

"THIS IS NOT A DRINK, HOLLANDER. YOU ARE DRINKING *SOUP*!"

"it's not soup! it's broth!"

"is a TRICK!! why is this in a coffee cup, shane???"

*eyeroll* "just because it's CALLED a coffee mug doesn't mean-"

meanwhile the other players are just ??? you guys okay??? not knowing yet that they WILL manage to find a way to fuck about this later, don't worry.

it also means that the cutesy matching really nice travel mugs they get from rose as a playful christmas gift means ilya is now CONSTANTLY watching which one is his each morning.

he will NOT get surprise souped again.

he will NOT.

[hollandersbuttplug]

Scott: So where’s your boy Rozanov?

Shane: