I'm having Mai thoughts that I feel like sharing... I picked up Superman comic books again because the movie's gonna drop and instead of reading anything new I just reread old favourites and I have an idea for a Mai comic brewing in my head. About colours.
Please don't be horrified. At the mention of colours and Superman with regards to Mai! I don't think Superman and Mai are remotely similar! (He and Aang on the other hand...) It's just an idea for the narration tool and the metaphor used in a story in Superman: Red and Blue. It made me think it's something I could use on Mai.
Half of ATLA fandom treats Mai's apathy as a personality trait rather than a coping mechanism and the other half thinks it's a complete façade... Where as... It's something in-between?
It's definitely a coping mechanism. But oftentimes when Mai says she doesn't care... She really means it too!—she definitely doesn't believe in auras and she truly has no opinion on Ruon-Jian.
She definitely doesn't care about Fire Nation winning the war beyond her family's safety. If she and her family would be sent to the gulag with the Fire Nation falling, then she cares. Or if she'd be stripped of her privileged lifestyle. (Mai likes being rich and she's not the kind of rich girl that would romanticise poverty)
It can be seen in how she really doesn't care when she fails in her missions throughout the course of the show. As long as Azula is secure in the idea that she has Mai in line. Because the cause wasn't something that was dear to her beyond functionality.
Comparison: Ashes of the Academy. Now that she has agency to do something, she cares about the cause she's working for. Being able to actually do something about Fire Nation society that she didn't like matters to her. For obvious reasons!
She parrots everything they teach them at school about the Fire Nation being superior but as for the cause of "bRingINg CivilIzAtioN tO tHe sAvaGes", I don't think she cares. Is she prejudiced against people of other nations? Definitely. Example: she thinks Fire Nation fashion and cuisine are superior. Does she think Fire Nation is truly superior? Nope: here, you get your face burned off and banished for speaking out of turn and only sons and/or firebenders matter and everyone pretends to care when in reality they're all scheming. Mai is neither a son nor a bender but she does fine, thank you very much!
She definitely considers herself superior to people of other nations by virtue of being Fire Nation but also to people of Fire Nation. (Exception: Azula) But no one asked for her opinion and your opinions might send you and/or your family to the gulag. Best keep quiet.
And her inability to express herself is definitely not a personality trait!
She expresses herself fine when it's safe around. When it's Ty Lee. (Note: she trusts Ty Lee not to snitch!) Or even her mother. She knows her mother doesn't put any stock in her opinions on things—but her mother isn't going to hurt her for it. She might get a lecture, sometimes she'd have the energy to actually express an opinion and take the lecture. Sometimes she'd be like "yes, mother. Of course." Because she isn't in a mood to trigger a lecture.
And when it comes Zuko, she has to turn her face away because he brings forth strong emotional response from her:
Mai calculates when to express herself, taking into account the people around her. And whether or not the sentiment she expresses would come back to bite her in the butt later.
But she definitely has her own opinions about a lot of things that she thinks about only in the privacy of her mind:
She also has a sense of right and wrong. Upon witnessing an injustice, Zuko would rage and cry and lose sleep over it. Mai would think the world is a horrible place—that Fire Nation society is stupid and doesn't deserve her productive participation, then she'd shrug and move on.
Here, I really do think it doesn't trigger that strong an emotional response from her—(exception: Zuko). She could have been like, idk, Zhao maybe. She could've been a bully of Zhao's level. But like Zuko, she didn't fit the ideal that Fire Nation society expected of her. But unlike Zuko, she learned self-preservation and made herself unobtrusive.
We all read about stuff online and get incensed, I think Mai would be able to say: "I have enough on my plate already" and move on. She also wouldn't see a point in beating yourself up over something you can't do anything about.
Comparison: Zuko, Aang or Katara. They'd be like "I can't do anything? Do you have me physically tied up? If you do have me physically tied up I'd break out of my bonds. I'll show you 'doing'". Consequences be damned. But Mai thinks about consequences™. Until Boiling Rock that is.
Katara saw the villagers suffering because of pollution and thought "I can't just leave them behind!" Mai saw Zuko about to become stew and thought "I can't just let him die."
Sokka wanted Katara to and not because he didn't care. He's more practical: ending the war would automatically help these people. Ending the war is solving the root of the problem, hence, takes higher priority.
I think a Mai that wasn't raised in FN would've been a tad more like Sokka. More pessimistic than him and quieter than him. I do think Mai was quiet and reserved even before Fire Nation society "got to her". More stoic than him, because Sokka cares and isn't afraid to show it. But he can grit his teeth and make difficult choices. Katara and Aang (and Zuko) can't. Mai doesn't have to grit her teeth to make difficult choices. (On a Mai scale Sokka is practical. On a Katara scale Sokka is stoic).
I don't think Sokka is stoic. I do think Mai is. Her façade of apathy is half façade, half truth.
There are stoic people out there. They know what's right and wrong and don't hurt people or anything. They just don't feel as strongly and can weather things. I think Mai's like that. There are exceptions of course: Zuko (she cares about his safety and happiness) her family (she care about their physical safety only, other than she'd much rather be away from them)
Ty Lee... Now, I think Mai learns to care more about Ty Lee after the war. When they both can be genuine with each other with no fears. Besides, Ty Lee stood by Mai when she needed her the most. I don't think Mai is a woman of principle, but I think she'd remember and appreciate Ty Lee's sacrifice her whole life. (Not as a matter of principle) Azula and Zuko do principles, not Mai.
So all that rambling. I think I'm trying to say Mai has a sense of justice (even though she doesn't act on it beyond thinking about it and definitely doesn't lose sleep over it. Read: stoicism).
Example: The Beach. Zuko just called her big blah because she doesn't air out her opinions for the world to see like he does.
But she does have them. She grew up in a society that fucked up her self expression and her home situation wasn't ideal. But things to be noted:
Despite her parents having a son preference she doesn't consider herself inferior. Proof: she resents her parents.
She verbally acknowledges she's privileged. She knows others have it worse than her. She handicaps her complains about her parents but not in a self-depricating way.
She knows what a healthy relationship looks like and what accountability is yada yada and she wants that from Zuko!
Zuko matters to her enough to waste her energy on, to yell at, to expect better from.
"That doesn't excuse the way you've acting."
I love her so much for that. Even as she let Fire Nation corrode away her personality, in the privacy of her mind, she does have opinions on things!
Mai does have an understanding of justice and right and wrong and the whole thing. But she doesn't get sentimental dreaming about it.
(also I love these because Zuko doesn't invalidate Mai's parental abuse because it was less severe compared to his ❤️)
As for Mai acknowledging her privilege: she isn't doing it in a soap opera heroine's i-should-be-content-with-my-lot kind of way. (I love her for that) She does it very... neutrally. Zuko had it worse than her. It's cold, hard fact. She must be thinking: my dad sucks but at least he isn't Ozai. She isn't content with her lot (her mother admonishes her for not being grateful for what she has) she'd like it if FN wasn't a horrible place to grow up in but at the same time she knows it's a waste of energy to dream about things that aren't possible (she's proven wrong about that of course, when she takes a leaf out of Zuko's book and goes "I can't just sit and—")
Compliance is expected of her and she complies. She plays the role of a noblewoman and a good daughter. She isn't going to pretend to be happy doing that on top of it all! (Unlike soap opera heroines, who're genuinely happy doing that somehow)—her prickly, unpleasant personality is it's own form of rebellion. The only kind that she can afford (very goth of her).
I hate everyone who says she should've been more loving of her family. She cares enough to comply even when she doesn't want to! She doesn't have to be happy doing that on top of it too! Especially not when she doesn't get enough love from them in return.
So I really do agree Mai pretends not to care, yes. But there is some truth to her apathy too. It really isn't 100% a façade. It doesn't interfere with her capacity to judge what's right and wrong—only with what she does about it. Which is, nothing. Until she does do something about it.
I guess I like Mai's stoicism 😅
Also, note: she's not shy to express herself when Zuko needs to hear it. She's shy when it's about expressing herself for her own sake because damn it, Mai has feelings™ that simply wouldn't do! She's nonchalant af, she doesn't do feelings. That's for people like Ty Lee! Ew.
Except, she'd pull stunts like at the Boiling Rock and I can't emphasise enough how much execution matters.
Boiling Rock could've come across as her being pathetic! But instead it comes across as heroic. There's a very thin line and in this particular instance, it's what separates Mai from the self-sacrifcing soap opera heroine.
I think she's somewhere between Zuko and Azula. Unlike Zuko, she let Fire Nation society diminish her. Unlike Azula, she couldn't 100% internalise Fire Nation ideals. She'd land smack in the middle of any alignment charts.
I don't think Mai was offering flattery or being dishonest here, that's Ty Lee. She does genuinely enjoy when Azula terrorises other people. Although she does have her own limits for how much of it she's okay with. She was a meanie and I don't like people saying it was hundred percent an act. Only some of it was.
And even without all that, I do think a Mai that had been raised with loving parents in the earth kingdom or water tribe would still be somewhat stoic or reserved. Of course, nothing like the violent repression she undergoes in Fire Nation in order to be safe. She'd still be a little dry and stoic though. I like to headcanon (I emphasis the word headcanon) she's some flavour of neurodivergent that processes things differently and people find her odd because of it. I think it's an experience neurodivergent people can relate to. Being raised the way she was worsened it. So I really do think that's what "Mai didn't have to change who she was" boils down to:
Mai had a happy ending without having to change her identity
(Note: Zuko would never, ever ask her to act the proper noblewoman in public. She might do so of her own accord. Maybe sometimes she wouldn't just for fun. He'd never ask it of her!)
Her arc wasn't about becoming a hero. And she doesn't have to start caring about everything under the sun like Zuko and Katara and Aang. And that's okay.
People like Zuko, Katara and Aang need people like Mai and Sokka to keep them alive (even though I don't think Mai and Sokka are much alike apart from being able to prioritise things and be practical. The audience might think they're heartless for it but I guess you need balance. That's why these characters are banded together)
TLDR: I think we swerved too hard from the "apathy is Mai's personality trait" that shippers-that-shan't-be-named like to harp about that we landed in a place where I feel like we're invalidating Mai's own unique way of processing things. Stoic people do exist and they aren't bad people! And I think Mai is stoic. Her façade of apathy isn't hundred percent a façade. Although it was exacerbated by being raised in FN.
Also, I'm making a Mai comic. Yay!