Askin’ All Them Questions
I haven’t written much lately. As I sat down the other day to journal for the first time in four weeks, all that came to me were all kinds of questions. I realize I’ve avoided writing because I’ve - one, been really out here living life, and two, because I’m experiencing a lot of uncertainty surrounding some rather important pieces of life (relationships and career, mainly). I decided to share some of the questions I’ve been pondering in hopes that it brings you peace knowing you’re not alone, and that it’s okay to not know the answer (even though we pretty much always know it, but that’s for another blog post). Here we go…
Q) What’s it going to take for me to stop putting up with shit I don’t deserve?
Q) How patient is TOO patient? When do I draw the line?
Q) Should I have to fight for someone? How long is too long?
Q) How many times do I have to tell someone something until they get it? If they care enough they will listen the first time, right?
Q) Who cares if they apologize if they don’t change their behaviour? Apologies don’t mean shit if there’s no real change.
Q) If I’m going to ‘be a writer,’ how vulnerable do I have to get? I’m afraid of what might be “too much.” But “too much” looks different to different people. At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter, I’m going to be judged regardless.
Q) Why do I even care about others judgments? Do I even care?
Q) How seriously should I take myself right now? What if I’m tired of taking myself too seriously?
Q) Do I start building my empire now or work for “the man?”
Q) What does it mean when I lose track of my passions? Does that mean it doesn’t really resonate with me? Wouldn’t I be all over it if it were meant to be or if I were truly passionate about it?
Q) What would my world look like if I truly stepped into my power as a woman and stopped being so concerned with getting permission/approval?
It’s funny because a lot of these questions have similar answers. Long story short, they’re all up to me. No one can answer these types of questions for us. Each of us have our own threshold for bullshit, our own timelines, our own personal self expectations, our own opinions, our own ideas about what alllll of this can look like. The possibilities are endless.
Some of these questions are huge. A lot of time and energy goes into figuring some of this out. Because of that I’d say the discovery process is more important than the actual answer or destination. We emit so much energy constantly, especially when we’re being contemplative or feeling unsure. Take a moment and think about what you do, how you feel and how you act during these deep contemplative stages, ie., what’s your energy like? Do you isolate? Ignore? Act frustrated? Personally, I distract myself. I work out, clean, cook, read, scroll on social media endlessly, etc… Writing this has allowed me to look at these questions and provide answers to myself in a way I couldn’t really make sense of in my head. What questions are you stumbling on? What do you already know the answer to? What will be your next step?
