Cherry

decided to make a new radfem blog!!

[nakanx]

hi guys. moved blogs over to @tervencherries bc the email for this acc was pissing me tf off. i had that username here too in case ppl get confused. much love <3

[female-malice]

Twitter is not a news source.

Tiktok is not a news source.

If you see something on Twitter or Tiktok that affirms your worldview, that's not news. If you see something on Twitter or Tiktok that shocks you, that's not news. It's better to assume that all of that is noise and disinformation. A real news source has journalistic standards where claims must be verified. Real news sources are not perfect but at least there is a damn standard. If you're using Twitter and Tiktok as your news sources, then you're being used in a social media proxy war.

[female-malice]

Sketchy sources that often spread disinformation:

Tweets and Tiktoks

Screenshots of Tweets reacting to scary headlines

Screenshots of Tiktoks reacting to scary headlines

Screenshots of headlines

Any story that tries to guilt you into spreading the story to as many people as you can. "If you don't reblog this you're heartless!" "Stop scrolling and share this post!" Don't share those. Scroll past them.

Interesting sources that are capable of spreading accurate information:

Links to news outlets with journalistic standards and accountability

Links to experienced trusted journalists publishing articles independently

Links to experts in their field sharing their expertise for a wider audience

[seeuspacelesbian-deactivated202]

[homochromia]

The therapist is right and I don’t think straight and bi women should put up with it. They deserve better and men are not willing to be better.

[kuklamarzanny]

great job at making your client more hopeless, depressed and paranoid when navigating social situations so she stays miserable, emotionally dependant on you and keeps attending sessions and paying you obscene amounts of money!

why doesn’t the therapist suggest race segregation while she’s at it bc white people are racist by nature and can’t help it but be opressive, ignorant asses to every poc they encounter, there’s no point in even trying to befriend let alone date interracially!! we’re immune to learning and doing better after conflict!

it’s not like EVERY relationship requires you to learn the other person’s needs and vice versa bc people aren’t mind readers

some people are willing to learn, some are not, but still building a relationship always requires work, active teaching and learning. the ones not willing to learn your needs and put the work in aren’t worth your time, this is what the therapist should teach her and not that every relationship is doomed from the start. what an awful thing to say to someone mentally unwell you have power and authority over

[nakanx]

idk, my therapist said something similar a few years ago and it’s actually one of the reasons i got better. it made me realize that i’m enough of a person on my own to matter. convincing mentally ill women that they NEED to be in a relationship to feel whole is a one-way ticket to an abusive relationship.

[kuklamarzanny]

I totally agree with you here, you should feel worthy and like you matter without a romantic partner, it’s a perequisite not to tolerate abuse from anyone, friend or partner! Encouraging women to date just anyone is the opposite of what I want

I took issue bc i’s worded so negativelly, so hopeless? like from experience I’ve seen whenever women get told “men are shitty and will treat you like dirt no matter what” womens reaction is “ok I don’ want to be alone, it’s normal when he treats me like dirt, everyone says so I just have to suck it up and be cool about it”

ykwim? at least that was my reaction and that of basically all of my friends when we started dating as teens. when you get told this over and over all your life you just give in to that you accept it as norm instead of questioning it, and many women I know still don’t even tho we’re far away from being teens now.

Like I think a more productive way to help women (ESPECIALLY mental patients in treatment at the mercy of an authority figure imposing their personal views on you) would be to built up their confidence and self worth and encourage them to be more selective to be like “you’re not sad and lonely, you’re self sufficient and independent and you should only let men into your life who actually treat you well, appreciate you and enrich your already very worthwhile and enjoyable life, do not date men who make you feel worse compared to when you were single! don’t date men you wouldn’t be platonic friends or roommates with! if you don’t find a man like that, that’s ok too and doesn’t reflect negatively on you!” instead of painting all relationships with men as doomed from the start due to societal power imbalance, bc as said this has really ugly implications when applied to other forms of opression, for example mixed race or able bodied x disabled relationships would automatically be problematic too due to the same inherent power imbalance. like, you can’t say all relationships with a power imbalance where the opressed has to “teach” the opressor some perspective are bad. relationships where both partners have the exact same societal power are extremely rare, even in same sex relationships. so the alternative would be to not let anyone too close to you ever again, lest they abuse the power they have over you, this is especially dangerous to tell to mentally ill impoverished women, who already tend to be paranoid and socially isolated (I mean ok this tiktokker prolly isnt impoverished, but most mentally ill women are, and they need MORE social support from people who have more power via health and wealth, not less!)

I reacted so negatively bc I’ve seen this “all men are shit, don’t bother” advice backfire so massively time and time again so I’m really tired of it. I’m glad it worked for you but it doesnt work for most women. We all grow up with “all men are dogs” stories from grandmas, moms, aunts, friends etc. and most women take it at face value and just accept there’s nothing to be done and keep dating abusive assholes, bc according to everyone all men are inherently abusive assholes. a therapist, someone who is supposed to help you out of your doomer mindset, repeating this is not helping, it’s just enforcing self destructive tougt spirals and behaviours

also I generalized, bc mentally ill people tend to generalize, and applied this advice to relationships with any power imbalance in general, not just romantic ones, which would make the self isolating behaviour even more severe. like damn, imagine being unemployed and avoiding any potential friend just bc they make more money than you bc they have power over you via their wealth. sucks to be poor.

hope this explains my point better, sorry I’m tired from work and have headache so I have trouble with my wording rn so I’m rambling and overexplaining

tldr I’m so personally offended abt this bc doomer advice like this made me and a lot of friends worse not better I think building women up and encouraging them to be selective via hope and positive examples is more effective and actually achieves the goal the therapist was trying to convey especially with normie women who aren’t spending their time in “political” bubbles on twitter and tumblr and would deem you insane if you suggested to them to stop dating alltogether

[nakanx]

i guess all of that is true but tbh, i’m not sure where OP said that this was a bad thing and said to stop dating men because of it. in the original post, she said that equal partnership can never be achieved (true for every relationship) and that total feminism cannot be achieved in a het relationship (also true, because total feminism involves female separatism, which cannot happen if you’re actively dating/living with/fornicating with a man).

don’t get me wrong, i think women should stop dating men altogether. but i don’t think the therapist is saying the same thing.

with my lady friends i try to get as much separatism into their brains as possible, and they typically agree with me. there are several women i know that have boyfriends but still keep their lives separate from the relationship by doing things like not having him over at their houses (going to his place instead) or just generally refusing to change things in their life that work for them over their boyfriend at the time.

for example, one of my friends has children with her ex, so the four of them go on vacation together and he’s just generally in their lives. a boyfriend knew this from the get-go, then 4 months in, decided that he wore the pants all of a sudden, and demanded that her children’s father stay out of their lives. she broke up with him on the spot.

i’m totally rambling at this point lol sorry my cold has turned into a full-blown sinus infection and i have no idea how to pare this down rn </3

[seeuspacelesbian-deactivated202]

[homochromia]

The therapist is right and I don’t think straight and bi women should put up with it. They deserve better and men are not willing to be better.

[kuklamarzanny]

great job at making your client more hopeless, depressed and paranoid when navigating social situations so she stays miserable, emotionally dependant on you and keeps attending sessions and paying you obscene amounts of money!

why doesn’t the therapist suggest race segregation while she’s at it bc white people are racist by nature and can’t help it but be opressive, ignorant asses to every poc they encounter, there’s no point in even trying to befriend let alone date interracially!! we’re immune to learning and doing better after conflict!

it’s not like EVERY relationship requires you to learn the other person’s needs and vice versa bc people aren’t mind readers

some people are willing to learn, some are not, but still building a relationship always requires work, active teaching and learning. the ones not willing to learn your needs and put the work in aren’t worth your time, this is what the therapist should teach her and not that every relationship is doomed from the start. what an awful thing to say to someone mentally unwell you have power and authority over

[nakanx]

idk, my therapist said something similar a few years ago and it’s actually one of the reasons i got better. it made me realize that i’m enough of a person on my own to matter. convincing mentally ill women that they NEED to be in a relationship to feel whole is a one-way ticket to an abusive relationship.

[kronkk]

you’re an artist, is it dangerous to shower with paintbrushes? I always paint before bed and then shower with them to clean them at the same time each night

What type of paint girl if you say oils I'm going to scream

[kronkk]

Really any paint shouldn't be touching skin. None. Unless it's EXPLICITLY FOR SKIN. So many pigments are so so bad for you please wash your brushes with gloves

[kronkk]

You can get nerve and organ damage from even acrylics

[swaggynomore2k25-deactivated202]

[mithliya]

Is it bad that I'm annoyed by the way most women I know irl text? Instead of saying "Thank you", they type something like "yayyy!! thanks ^-^ :333". Low-key makes them seem as though they've just suffered a stroke. I think they're trying to sound dumber so men see them as cute or whatever.

lool i think i type somewhat like that and i don’t text men besides like. my father & 1 gay guy i’m friends with. maybe they just think it seems friendlier, more intimate, and shows more emotion? that’s why i will be like “dhshshs yaaaay 🤪!!!thankkksssss!!!” instead of “Wonderful. Thank you.”

[searchingforproofsthatimwrong]

I think this kind of overly cute communication that is predominently used between women is not actually a way to appear dumber in front of men. I would be very surprised if anon's female friends used the same pattern to talk to their male friends.

It's just your usual girls/young women drive language evolution thing. It's supposed to be friendly and cute but ofc since women do it it just means they're dumb and looking for male attention. Obviously.

[bichoplaza]

Disingenuous to assume that since something is done predominantly between women it can't possibly be because of the influence of the patriarchy. I know women who live with only their mother that still put on makeup daily just to be at home. To bring up the "you're your own voyeur" quote, I think it's not that crazy to reach the conclusion that wanting to appear more childish when texting other women can be because of the influence of a culture that pushes women to act that way

[mithliya]

i think it’s really not that deep and that other women, like myself, probably use more exclamation points and add extra letters not to seem dumber and childish for men, but to seem more friendly and show more emotion via text. i’m sure some intentionally try to seem dumber for whatever reason, but i don’t think it makes sense to assume even the way we type has to be an attempt at seeming dumber for men, some of us are just trying to seem more friendly over text bc we know it doesn’t necessarily translate well if u type more formally

[bichoplaza]

Honestly I'm very surprised you of all women suddenly think that we are all conscious of the effect socialization and a misogynistic society have on us and that we make conscious choices to appeal to the patriarchy

Of course women don't intentionally do things to appeal to men, but those actions and behaviors that appeal to the patriarchy are taught to us practically since birth. We appeal to the patriarchy subconsciously and most of the time without wanting to

I understand not wanting to sound dry over text but there's ways to do that without sounding childish

[nakanx]

why do you think that women being excited is childish? why do you think that women being polite and friendly to other women is a bad thing? why do you think all forms of female socialization are misogynistic?

do you think that some men knowing how to change a tire is misogynistic? what about some men knowing how to change a lightbulb?

if the answer is no to either question in the second paragraph, i have another question: why is male behavior okay, but female behavior isn’t?

[bichoplaza]

I don't think it's childish. There's a difference between saying "woah!! Thank you so much!!♥️" and abusing exclamation points & using emoticons which are associated with young girls (:3, >~<, stuff like that)

I don't think it's a bad thing. Just that it's female socialization.

I don't think all female socialization is *inherently* misogynistic, but that it's there for misogynistic reasons. Being nurturing is female socialization, it isn't misogynistic on it's own, but the reason women are raised to be nurturing (to eventually have a husband and a baby to take care of all on her own) is.

I don't know why you bring up men knowing how to do once-in-two-months tasks as a sort of gotcha. Unrelated and irrelevant. I'm not saying female behavior isn't ok. You just made that up.

[nakanx]

emoticons were around before emojis. as someone who just graduated high school: young girls use emojis. it’s typically the 30+ crowd that uses emoticons. your whole argument is mind-boggling and makes absolutely no sense.

i also brought up doing stuff around the house because male socialization includes being handy/knowing how to fix things. it’s not unrelated or irrelevant if you actually know anything about male or female socialization.

i also know you didn’t outright say that female behavior isn’t okay. i never said you did! i asked a question, and added a follow up that had a prerequisite. a prerequisite means that the words don’t apply to everyone! similar to when you want to take a class in college, but you have to have passed another class before you can take it.

hope that helps with your confusion!

[mithliya]

Is it bad that I'm annoyed by the way most women I know irl text? Instead of saying "Thank you", they type something like "yayyy!! thanks ^-^ :333". Low-key makes them seem as though they've just suffered a stroke. I think they're trying to sound dumber so men see them as cute or whatever.

lool i think i type somewhat like that and i don’t text men besides like. my father & 1 gay guy i’m friends with. maybe they just think it seems friendlier, more intimate, and shows more emotion? that’s why i will be like “dhshshs yaaaay 🤪!!!thankkksssss!!!” instead of “Wonderful. Thank you.”

[searchingforproofsthatimwrong]

I think this kind of overly cute communication that is predominently used between women is not actually a way to appear dumber in front of men. I would be very surprised if anon's female friends used the same pattern to talk to their male friends.

It's just your usual girls/young women drive language evolution thing. It's supposed to be friendly and cute but ofc since women do it it just means they're dumb and looking for male attention. Obviously.

[bichoplaza]

Disingenuous to assume that since something is done predominantly between women it can't possibly be because of the influence of the patriarchy. I know women who live with only their mother that still put on makeup daily just to be at home. To bring up the "you're your own voyeur" quote, I think it's not that crazy to reach the conclusion that wanting to appear more childish when texting other women can be because of the influence of a culture that pushes women to act that way

[mithliya]

i think it’s really not that deep and that other women, like myself, probably use more exclamation points and add extra letters not to seem dumber and childish for men, but to seem more friendly and show more emotion via text. i’m sure some intentionally try to seem dumber for whatever reason, but i don’t think it makes sense to assume even the way we type has to be an attempt at seeming dumber for men, some of us are just trying to seem more friendly over text bc we know it doesn’t necessarily translate well if u type more formally

[bichoplaza]

Honestly I'm very surprised you of all women suddenly think that we are all conscious of the effect socialization and a misogynistic society have on us and that we make conscious choices to appeal to the patriarchy

Of course women don't intentionally do things to appeal to men, but those actions and behaviors that appeal to the patriarchy are taught to us practically since birth. We appeal to the patriarchy subconsciously and most of the time without wanting to

I understand not wanting to sound dry over text but there's ways to do that without sounding childish

[nakanx]

why do you think that women being excited is childish? why do you think that women being polite and friendly to other women is a bad thing? why do you think all forms of female socialization are misogynistic?

do you think that some men knowing how to change a tire is misogynistic? what about some men knowing how to change a lightbulb?

if the answer is no to either question in the second paragraph, i have another question: why is male behavior okay, but female behavior isn’t?

[nakanx]

yeah i’m pretty sure the term is “sex slaves”

[nakanx]

this is why it’s so important for feminists to talk about motherhood as well, instead of just saying “everyone should be child free” and leaving it at that. this is a HORRIBLE double standard that i’ve even noticed with my parents (my mom works during the day and dad stays home). when my mom is sick, she still does what needs done. my dad, however, hides in his room and ignores all responsibilities. it has nothing to do with who does the majority of the household duties and everything to do with male vs. female socialization.

[klapollo]

youre taking someone you like on a date but it has to be an american restaurant chain. pick.

applebees / chilis /tgi fridays

red lobster

olive garden / carraba's / whatever other italian place

outback steakhouse

golden corral

cheesecake factory

cracker barrel

pf chang's

texas roadhouse

other

Voting ended onSep 26, 2023

[creatorisawoman]

Gyns on radblr! Another poll. Do you partake in any of these substances?

Nicotine/Tobacco (non-vaping aka smoking cigs and tobacco pipes and cigars)

Nicotine (vaping and e-cigs)

Caffeine (coffee, tea)

Caffeine (soda, energy drinks)

Weed/marijuana/cannabis (smoking)

Weed/marijuana/cannabis (edibles and oils)

Alcohol (socially less than once per month)

Alcohol (two or more times a month)

I don’t intake caffeine, cannabis, or alcohol

Other (put in tags if you are comfortable)

results

Voting ended onSep 18, 2023

[lesb0]

the refusal to drink real coffee is definitely part of American babyadult syndrome.. so deranged that grown ass adults literally get up at 9am and go to a coffee shop to demand a basically a giant vanilla milkshake with an ounce of coffee in it. like oh does baby need morning cookie crunchy milky shake? whip cream sprinkles on your big chocy milk?? If I were a Starbucks barista I would NOT be a good person

[ultra-cryptic-deactivated202312]

When I was a barista last fall so many people would come in every day and order drinks that were like half syrup. Before I added milk or espresso the cup would be half full of chocolate sauce or caramel or whatever else. It really felt like I was killing these people, sometimes I would just put half the syrup to protect them from dying on the spot but a few times they noticed and made me remake it. I am not against having a fun drink once in a while but it should never be your normal morning coffee!!! So unhealthy and so wasteful.

[harlotfilth-deactivated20260210]

To drink what is essentially ice cream for breakfast daily then when someone online criticises it you feel compelled to write a frenzied screed in defence... it’s such a quintessentially American thing. The notes are flooring me lol you all are sugar & junk food addicts in denial

[whjwiwowpwlsskwjwbwbkwkwlwnw]

she said babyadults and they came 😭

[harlotfilth-deactivated20260210]

Lmaooo what next

‘how dare you say it’s bad to eat mcdonald’s every day 🤬 you think you’re morally superior just because you eat a balanced diet, we’re primates we’re hardwired to respond positively to hyper palatable foods so it’s fine to eat mcdonalds daily’

[strozzaprete-deactivated2024062]

if you don't like bitter coffee you can just put a bit of milk and some sugar in it you don't need 5 pumps of syrup 9 pumps of white chocolate and 14 pumps of caramel. that's literally the shit that gives you diabetes

[leviathan-teeth]

the lady at my boba place immediately hit me with the "hey sweetheart" lemme eat the tapioca pearls out of your hand like a desperate horse while u pet me

[opalescentfeather]

[nakimushiga-ru]

whenever i think about someone and then a few days later i run into them i always think It's Because I'm Magic

[nakanx]

something similar has been happening to me lately. i’ll have a convo with someone about something and it’ll happen within 24 hours. it’s happened like 5 times this week. i’m going crazy.

[nakanx]

a man called me a misandrist today. i told him misandry wasn’t real. he insisted it was, and that it was just as bad as misogyny. i asked him the following questions:

what slurs are there against men? how many men have been murdered by women simply because they’re men? what percentage of men get raped by women? how many men are murdered by their family members for having too much sex? how many are murdered by girlfriends for having too little sex? how many men are forced by their girlfriends & wives to ruin their body in order to have kids? how many are murdered for impregnating their girlfriend/wife? how many men are mitigated by doctors once they have children? what about raped by doctors during the process? how many men are beaten for their condom use? what about lackthereof? how many men are lied to about their anatomy? how many boys don’t know what a penis is? what about testicles? which sex-ed classes focus on women’s health and don’t mention men? how many boys get their penises cut off before they reach adolescence? how many men are told that they’re meant to have small penises? how many are told that large penises mean that they’re “dirty” or they “sleep around”? how many men are expected to wear restrictive and dehumanizing clothing? how many men are expected to remove all of their hair from the eyebrows down with a sharp instrument every 2-3 days? what about ripping their hair completely out with hot wax, down to the hair follicle? how many men are expected to slather a cocktail of chemicals all over their skin every day? how many men are threatened with murder when they fall asleep next to a woman, and the chemicals disappear? how many men are murdered because they pee? how many men are shamed because they pee? how many men are told that they’re evil or demons because they pee? how many men have been raped by doctors because they cried and their wives didn’t like it? what disease was imagined up where the only symptom was male irritability? how is that disease used to demean and discredit men today? all of this and more happens to women all the time all over the world. is there anything even close to this level of dehumanization that men experience from women who simply don’t want to be near them?

[nakanx]

a man called me a misandrist today. i told him misandry wasn’t real. he insisted it was, and that it was just as bad as misogyny. i asked him the following questions:

what slurs are there against men? how many men have been murdered by women simply because they’re men? what percentage of men get raped by women? how many men are murdered by their family members for having too much sex? how many are murdered by girlfriends for having too little sex? how many men are forced by their girlfriends & wives to ruin their body in order to have kids? how many are murdered for impregnating their girlfriend/wife? how many men are mitigated by doctors once they have children? what about raped by doctors during the process? how many men are beaten for their condom use? what about lackthereof? how many men are lied to about their anatomy? how many boys don’t know what a penis is? what about testicles? which sex-ed classes focus on women’s health and don’t mention men? how many boys get their penises cut off before they reach adolescence? how many men are told that they’re meant to have small penises? how many are told that large penises mean that they’re “dirty” or they “sleep around”? how many men are expected to wear restrictive and dehumanizing clothing? how many men are expected to remove all of their hair from the eyebrows down with a sharp instrument every 2-3 days? what about ripping their hair completely out with hot wax, down to the hair follicle? how many men are expected to slather a cocktail of chemicals all over their skin every day? how many men are threatened with murder when they fall asleep next to a woman, and the chemicals disappear? how many men are murdered because they pee? how many men are shamed because they pee? how many men are told that they’re evil or demons because they pee? how many men have been raped by doctors because they cried and their wives didn’t like it? what disease was imagined up where the only symptom was male irritability? how is that disease used to demean and discredit men today? all of this and more happens to women all the time all over the world. is there anything even close to this level of dehumanization that men experience from women who simply don’t want to be near them?

[nakanx]

the funniest thing about tumblr is when ppl r like “ummm i’m a medical professional!!1!” and it’s like. ok! but do you have human patients? and 90% of the time the answer is no.