I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm happy to be here.
I'm an Illustrator and an aspiring author who loves stories that tug on your heartstrings. (I am the #1 found family lover) I am always happy to talk about books/comics/shows/life in general...
My Current Main Interests:
Lout of the Count's Family ☆ Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint ☆ Lord of the Mysteries ☆ Tianbao Fuyao Lu ☆ Witch Hat Atelier ☆ The Case Files of Jewler Richard ☆ Moriarty the Patriot ☆ Akatsuki No Yona ☆ Stormlight Archive ☆
Cale being aroace is one of my dearest head canons
Both of them
Like,part of why tcf is so dear to me is because of how it showcases that love is universal in all forms.It has no romance,and for me,that’s what makes the story perfect.
Its not like I don’t enjoy romance or even Cale being shipped with various people around him,god knows how many fics I've read of tcf that are just romance focused,but there’s a comfort in knowing that the story will never go in that direction.Because it doesn’t need to.
It doesn’t need romance in its life to be loved so vividly,both by me and other people.
The idea of burning down the world for someone you love but will never be in love with,the thought of relationships that are clearly ’just friendships’ but showcasing that love so beautifully.Just as beautifully.
I am in love with tcf because of it.
Alberu or Choi han or any other person with Cale could get the same treatment of ships by people of the fandom.But those relationships themselves are built on what everyone reads.And in the end the reason why is because the bonds between all of them are so ridiculously precious,imagining them to be in love is not so far fetched.
And they do love each other.Dearly.Its a bond that’s ’just’ friendship but its so damn beautiful that you cant help but love every part of it.And the best part is,that its treated just as importantly as romantic love interests are in any other novels.
The cast of tcf.They found each other,broken and tattered,and reforged themselves into the family that most of them never had.
Platonic love.Thats what tcf is built on and i will forever treasure this story because of it.
Something that slipped my mind before was why Cale always felt odd/confused when people expressed their gratitude to him (or started following him around). I used to think it was his, well, non-existent self worth, or just something to maintain distance he learned as Krs.
But the thing is, what if his actions are just obvious in his mind? Like if he just considers it as something he simply had to do, and not something he had to go out of his way to think about?
And like, it makes sense then. If someone close to you was stuck somewhere, ofc you'd help them out. You don't need them to ask for help if you see they're stuck. Rather, it would really feel weird if they expressed their gratitude more than a simple thank you.
And isn't that exactly the case with Cale? For him, helping others had always been a natural course of action—and not something he actually pushed himself for. In his view, it would seem more odd if something thanked him for doing the obvious.
Yk, after he saved Raon from living his whole life and ultimately dying in torture, the first thing that came to his mind when the lil dragon started following him was that Raon needed to be responsible. For the life he would spend following someone like Cale, and for his own choice—he even explained to Raon what other option he had (freedom, as a mighty dragon), just so the lil dragon didn't follow him ignorantly.
And yk, that means that Cale vaguely understood that the help he had offered was enough for Raon to follow him for life. His reaction afterwards wasn't repulsion, it was simply bewilderment. He knew what he did was a lot, but what he didn't understand was the dragon's gratitude to him, to someone doing something so obvious. He doesn't downplay what he does (tho he does ignore it), he downplays the reaction he should receive normally, the gratitude and affection.
I don't remember the exact scenes but many times Cale/Krs has mentioned that 'someone else would've done it if not me' and like. my guy. my beloved slacker. That is NOT true.
Literally most of the confusion he faces is because he doesn't understand why his fam doesn't understand that he's doing something very very obvious, and that he doesn't have to be thanked for it. In his mind kindness had always been so simple, so easy.
Something about rereading lcf is so special bc knowing about KRS and all his lore really puts into perspective how amusing he is after he becomes Cale. Reading the early chapters rn and like. Oh my god this guy. King of downplaying trauma and refusing to acknowledge his feelings skskajjdjsak.
There’s such a subtle shift in how he views his companions family after this guy gets one (1) vacation. He goes from wanting to get them out of his hair ASAP and being all tsundere about keeping them around to “Ok I like you, let me solve all your problems. Who dares hurt you, let’s go scam them out of everything they’re worth.” (which…….he was already doing, but he acts a lot more willing to(?). He acknowledges it and starts doing them favors) like yeah those are his ride or die’s. Idk just seeing how unhinged he acts the longer the series goes on is SO funny to me. And so valid. Picturing krs doing all the bs this man goes around doing …….i genuinely love this for him. 36 y/o man acting like a petty diva. (As he should!!!!!)
Guy gets one vacation where he does nothing but sleep the day away and stare at the wall eating grapes and decides yep this is worth dedicating everything to fight for. Stop making fun of his dream of being a slacker guys…….he’ll achieve it one day…………surely………
But seriously, catching onto subtle references he makes to his previous life never fails to feel like a sucker punch to the gut. Every time I start from the top and read the lines about how he didn’t have anyone he loved or who loved him, how he only lived because he could not die I WANT TO CRY. Does he know it’s ok to feel emotional. Does he. I say about the guy who doesn’t cry in front of his family until like 400 chapters in.
I love him dearly. I wish he would learn how to express his love in a way that doesn’t involve sacrificing himself 🩷
I found an old diary earlier and realized how important written words really are. The entries were from pivotal points in my life, but the contents weren’t anything I remembered. It was full of nothing important, really. Mostly just fleeting thoughts about books or shows I’d been watching. But a handful of them were expressing deep anxieties I felt at the time. Thinking back on those times, I had no memory of having these thoughts. But my heart absolutely broke reading them.
So many things have changed and I’m not the same person I was when I wrote those entries. But I think by thinking like that, I’ve been doing myself a huge disservice. Those feelings I felt were never properly addressed, and it affects me every day. Only now, I’m actually able to identify the problem. I wouldn’t have been able to realize this with such certainty if it wasn’t for those journals. I wish I kept writing, sharing every fleeting thought that passed my mind. Because without them I wouldn’t have remembered that person existed. Seeing the blank pages after that last entry in 2022 made me unbearably sad. I don’t think I can even begin to explain that feeling properly.
Somewhere down the line I became afraid to speak my mind. Anytime I did, it would be after careful deliberation and an exorbitant amount of anxiety. But maybe, my thoughts do deserve a place outside of my head. Even if it’s only me who appreciates them. Especially if it’s only me who appreciates them.
“Time and space-even down to the tiny particles of dust in the air-all flowed at a different pace around this man. It was almost enough to make you believe in the divine. It might have been some kind of fated meet-cute—if he'd been a woman, that was.”
-The Case Files of Jeweler Richard, Volume 1
“I didn't think him helping me out was beautiful in and of itself. It was just that he caught me at a moment when I felt convinced I was the most pitiful and comical creature known to man. When he ran to my rescue without the slightest hesitation, I felt almost blinded, as if I were staring into a light trap that dispelled the darkness. That's all it was, I told myself. Nothing more.
Now, do you think the man who escorted me to the police box had even the faintest inkling how very long and deep our relationship would become? Were the question to be posed to me, my answer would no doubt be ‘Not in the slightest.’”
I had to miss week one because I forgot to prepare something in advance and finals have been killing me. Thankfully I drew this piece a few months back and have been dying to finally post it!!!
I think I need to do a deep-dive analysis. I’ve been asking myself for a long time:
Why did Richard disappear at the end of Volume 3?
At first, I was always upset about it, because he hurt Seigi so deeply by doing that. That was all I could see back then. After I read more of the novels and learned more about Richard’s past, I kept trying to understand his actions in Volume 3. For a while now, I’ve believed that Richard disappeared to protect himself, to avoid experiencing the pain of loss again. But whether that interpretation is correct or not is something each person has to decide for themselves. This is just one possible way of reading it:
I think that in order to understand him properly, we have to start with his past. Back then in England, Richard had a relatively stable environment, with Jeffrey as his older brother and Deborah as his partner. The inheritance dispute had always been there in the background, shaking the foundation of his life, but it wasn’t immediately life-threatening. And then came the day when Jeffrey turned against him. He betrayed Richard, destroyed his life with his family in London, and at the same time tore apart his relationship with Deborah. Richard lost everything in a single moment.
His reaction was to run. He left for Sri Lanka and let himself fall apart completely until Saul eventually found him. Only then did he slowly begin to return to life again. But through that betrayal Richard learned one thing: getting close to others means being vulnerable to pain. And on top of that, he knows Jeffrey could find him again, and take even more from him.
So now Richard is standing on his own two feet again, rebuilding himself as an independent adult and creating a new identity as a jeweler. He goes to a country he had always liked and opens his jewelry shop Étranger, which means “stranger” — a name that reflects his loneliness. It’s a place meant for him alone, because he never truly feels like he belongs anywhere. That is, until one night he runs into a Japanese man who saves him with his overwhelming sense of justice and quietly steals his heart. (Even if Richard doesn’t admit that to himself at the time.)
So Seigi and Richard slowly, awkwardly grow closer to each other. And Seigi, with his gentle and innocent nature, burrows deeper and deeper into Richard’s heart. But then, one day, something happens again, something Richard immediately recognizes the signs of. Jeffrey is back, and he has already pushed people like Singh from the Jade case to go after Richard. From that moment on, something shifts in Richard’s feelings. He is reminded of everything he went through because of Jeffrey before. How he was painfully separated from Deborah, and how he ran away. And that instinct returns. It’s not about logic or choice. It’s the same survival response as before. He wants to run. To retreat into a hole where no one else will suffer because of him, and where he can go through it alone.
Does that remind you of something we’ve seen before? Seigi did the exact same thing in Volume 6, when his biological father reappeared. Those weren’t rational decisions. They were fear and trauma. Richard even says that the two of them are like mirrors, and I think what he means is that he has gone through the same thing himself.
So when Richard disappears in Volume 3, he is acting out of fear and trauma. He has made himself vulnerable because he loves Seigi too much. He is afraid of losing that love. He is afraid that Jeffrey will destroy everything again. And on top of that, there is the uncertainty, the fear that Seigi could love someone else, that this could become another unrequited love, just like with Deborah. Richard is not running from Seigi’s lack of love — he is running from the possibility that the love is real. Richard doesn’t know any other way to survive except to run. Richard is not a perfect person — far from it. And because of that, he can also make irrational decisions. That’s exactly why it’s so difficult to understand on the first read. But I think the answer to why he left is scattered all throughout these books.
And once you understand that, Volume 4 becomes even more meaningful. Because it’s the first time Richard stays, even though he loves. Because Seigi finds him, and refuses to let go. Love no longer makes him weak, it makes him strong. That is the difference between before and after, one that Seigi only realizes much later.
This is my current interpretation of why Richard disappears at the end of Volume 3, after thinking about it for far too long. That moment in the story is just far too interesting not to obsess over endlessly. Trying to understand Richard honestly feels like a lifetime assignment at this point. Maybe my interpretation will change again someday, but this is where I am right now, and I just needed to put it into words.
I also remember feeling really upset and confused about why Richard left when I first read the series. But, on my second read through with all the context of Richard’s past, it makes sm sense! I feel like all my thoughts about this series all circle back to one major point, and that is love. It really is all about love… all the different forms it takes and how it affects the individual…
I think the parallels between Seigi and Richard are so fascinating. They’re such different people, from such different backgrounds, and yet they are so incredibly similar. Ahh they compliment each other so perfectly…
There’s something so special to me about queer-platonic relationships in stories. When you see people so full of love for one another that it transcends any labels because they don’t need them. They don’t need to define their relationship to know that what they have is special. They can just feel it through the way they support and understand one another.
I think love is most beautiful in this form. Not to say other forms are not as special or important, of course they are. It’s just the way that love is seen not out of any desire but pure adoration for someone as an individual. It’s them seeing each other, recognizing their flaws but promising to always be by their side. No expectations, no doubt. They just love each other.
I think more people need to get used to the idea that love isn’t just about a romantic connection. It’s a genuine, human bond that can never be simply defined. Just because two characters don’t “get together” in canon doesn’t make the love they clearly feel for each other any less real. I would take a pair who don’t ever get together that take time to build a bond and trust each other over a pair that starts dating just because it’s the “obvious” thing to do (If that makes sense?) any day.
Because at the end of the day, we all want to feel seen—to have a real meaningful connection to another person. I think that’s why I love QP relationships in media so much. The story isn’t moved by the expectation that the characters will get together, it’s moved by the characters learning how to be human together.
Leonard and Klein are so funny to me. Imagine being a (poser) poet protected by the moonlight. The world's most pathetic and performative yearner. and then going and investing all your yearner energy into the most avoidant homophobe ever who probably wants to call you slurs.
I absolutely love it when a deceptive main character meets an antagonist who outclasses their deception in every way just because they are completely unhinged, showing the mc that they are in fact a human with human desires that can be exploited.
Ive been rereading shadow slave so mordret is on my mind, but amon does this soo well.
