I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm happy to be here.
I'm an Illustrator and an aspiring author who loves stories that tug on your heartstrings. (I am the #1 found family lover) I am always happy to talk about books/comics/shows/life in general...
My Current Main Interests:
Lout of the Count's Family ā Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint ā Lord of the Mysteries ā Tianbao Fuyao Lu ā Witch Hat Atelier ā The Case Files of Jewler Richard ā Moriarty the Patriot ā Akatsuki No Yona ā Stormlight Archive ā
I ranted about this on my insta story but I need everyone to be chill about aro/ace identities right now.
Please remember to focus on why this month matters. All identities are important and we all have the right to exist as we are. No one deserves threats for simply existing. There are many terrible things happening and itās so important to remember that pride is an ongoing fight for liberation. If we spend all our time squabbling about who ācounts as queerā, weāre ignoring the harm that is actively effecting all of us in the community.
If you donāt understand something, ask! Educate yourself! Donāt just dismiss or assume things just because you donāt understand what youāre talking about. Itās ok to not know things, but itās not ok to actively spread information and hate about things you donāt understand.
āTime and space-even down to the tiny particles of dust in the air-all flowed at a different pace around this man. It was almost enough to make you believe in the divine. It might have been some kind of fated meet-cuteāif he'd been a woman, that was.ā
-The Case Files of Jeweler Richard, Volume 1
āI didn't think him helping me out was beautiful in and of itself. It was just that he caught me at a moment when I felt convinced I was the most pitiful and comical creature known to man. When he ran to my rescue without the slightest hesitation, I felt almost blinded, as if I were staring into a light trap that dispelled the darkness. That's all it was, I told myself. Nothing more.
Now, do you think the man who escorted me to the police box had even the faintest inkling how very long and deep our relationship would become? Were the question to be posed to me, my answer would no doubt be āNot in the slightest.āā
I had to miss week one because I forgot to prepare something in advance and finals have been killing me. Thankfully I drew this piece a few months back and have been dying to finally post it!!!
Witch hat atelier dropping a new anime trailer on the same day that the final volume of Jeweler Richard was releasedā¦.is today real? Iām trembling with joy.
It is a monumental day for a very specific type of nerd.
I think I need to do a deep-dive analysis. Iāve been asking myself for a long time:
Why did Richard disappear at the end of Volume 3?
At first, I was always upset about it, because he hurt Seigi so deeply by doing that. That was all I could see back then. After I read more of the novels and learned more about Richardās past, I kept trying to understand his actions in Volume 3. For a while now, Iāve believed that Richard disappeared to protect himself, to avoid experiencing the pain of loss again. But whether that interpretation is correct or not is something each person has to decide for themselves. This is just one possible way of reading it:
I think that in order to understand him properly, we have to start with his past. Back then in England, Richard had a relatively stable environment, with Jeffrey as his older brother and Deborah as his partner. The inheritance dispute had always been there in the background, shaking the foundation of his life, but it wasnāt immediately life-threatening. And then came the day when Jeffrey turned against him. He betrayed Richard, destroyed his life with his family in London, and at the same time tore apart his relationship with Deborah. Richard lost everything in a single moment.
His reaction was to run. He left for Sri Lanka and let himself fall apart completely until Saul eventually found him. Only then did he slowly begin to return to life again. But through that betrayal Richard learned one thing: getting close to others means being vulnerable to pain. And on top of that, he knows Jeffrey could find him again, and take even more from him.
So now Richard is standing on his own two feet again, rebuilding himself as an independent adult and creating a new identity as a jeweler. He goes to a country he had always liked and opens his jewelry shop Ćtranger, which means āstrangerā ā a name that reflects his loneliness. Itās a place meant for him alone, because he never truly feels like he belongs anywhere. That is, until one night he runs into a Japanese man who saves him with his overwhelming sense of justice and quietly steals his heart. (Even if Richard doesnāt admit that to himself at the time.)
So Seigi and Richard slowly, awkwardly grow closer to each other. And Seigi, with his gentle and innocent nature, burrows deeper and deeper into Richardās heart. But then, one day, something happens again, something Richard immediately recognizes the signs of. Jeffrey is back, and he has already pushed people like Singh from the Jade case to go after Richard. From that moment on, something shifts in Richardās feelings. He is reminded of everything he went through because of Jeffrey before. How he was painfully separated from Deborah, and how he ran away. And that instinct returns. Itās not about logic or choice. Itās the same survival response as before. He wants to run. To retreat into a hole where no one else will suffer because of him, and where he can go through it alone.
Does that remind you of something weāve seen before? Seigi did the exact same thing in Volume 6, when his biological father reappeared. Those werenāt rational decisions. They were fear and trauma. Richard even says that the two of them are like mirrors, and I think what he means is that he has gone through the same thing himself.
So when Richard disappears in Volume 3, he is acting out of fear and trauma. He has made himself vulnerable because he loves Seigi too much. He is afraid of losing that love. He is afraid that Jeffrey will destroy everything again. And on top of that, there is the uncertainty, the fear that Seigi could love someone else, that this could become another unrequited love, just like with Deborah. Richard is not running from Seigiās lack of love ā he is running from the possibility that the love is real. Richard doesnāt know any other way to survive except to run. Richard is not a perfect person ā far from it. And because of that, he can also make irrational decisions. Thatās exactly why itās so difficult to understand on the first read. But I think the answer to why he left is scattered all throughout these books.
And once you understand that, Volume 4 becomes even more meaningful. Because itās the first time Richard stays, even though he loves. Because Seigi finds him, and refuses to let go. Love no longer makes him weak, it makes him strong. That is the difference between before and after, one that Seigi only realizes much later.
This is my current interpretation of why Richard disappears at the end of Volume 3, after thinking about it for far too long. That moment in the story is just far too interesting not to obsess over endlessly. Trying to understand Richard honestly feels like a lifetime assignment at this point. Maybe my interpretation will change again someday, but this is where I am right now, and I just needed to put it into words.
I also remember feeling really upset and confused about why Richard left when I first read the series. But, on my second read through with all the context of Richardās past, it makes sm sense! I feel like all my thoughts about this series all circle back to one major point, and that is love. It really is all about loveā¦ all the different forms it takes and how it affects the individualā¦
I think the parallels between Seigi and Richard are so fascinating. Theyāre such different people, from such different backgrounds, and yet they are so incredibly similar. Ahh they compliment each other so perfectlyā¦
Thereās something so special to me about queer-platonic relationships in stories. When you see people so full of love for one another that it transcends any labels because they donāt need them. They donāt need to define their relationship to know that what they have is special. They can just feel it through the way they support and understand one another.
I think love is most beautiful in this form. Not to say other forms are not as special or important, of course they are. Itās just the way that love is seen not out of any desire but pure adoration for someone as an individual. Itās them seeing each other, recognizing their flaws but promising to always be by their side. No expectations, no doubt. They just love each other.
I think more people need to get used to the idea that love isnāt just about a romantic connection. Itās a genuine, human bond that can never be simply defined. Just because two characters donāt āget togetherā in canon doesnāt make the love they clearly feel for each other any less real. I would take a pair who donāt ever get together that take time to build a bond and trust each other over a pair that starts dating just because itās the āobviousā thing to do (If that makes sense?) any day.
Because at the end of the day, we all want to feel seenāto have a real meaningful connection to another person. I think thatās why I love QP relationships in media so much. The story isnāt moved by the expectation that the characters will get together, itās moved by the characters learning how to be human together.
Leonard and Klein are so funny to me. Imagine being a (poser) poet protected by the moonlight. The world's most pathetic and performative yearner. and then going and investing all your yearner energy into the most avoidant homophobe ever who probably wants to call you slurs.
I absolutely love it when a deceptive main character meets an antagonist who outclasses their deception in every way just because they are completely unhinged, showing the mc that they are in fact a human with human desires that can be exploited.
Ive been rereading shadow slave so mordret is on my mind, but amon does this soo well.
Yk I had extremely neutral feelings towards Amon the entire time I was reading lotm, but now that Iām done with it Iām like, stupidly fond of the guy???? He just amuses meā¦
Like. Heās terrifying and annoying but also just a silly guy. Idk.
I was thinking about character motivations (what they want vs what they need, stuff like that) and it got me thinking about Klein and howā¦ tragic his character is.
From the start, he was suddenly forced to adapt to an entirely new life without any warning, giving him barely any time to mourn the sudden loss of everything he knew and loved. From that moment on he adapted a lifestyle based on things ānot being too badā. As long as things werenāt to bad, he could bare it and be content. This already establishes that well known loneliness we see throughout the story, and while itās not a horrible mindset, itās still vaguely tragic to me. It is apparent that without getting any closure for his past he can never truly be at ease. But he is mentally strong, so he bares the weight of his grief honestly really well all things considered.
What really solidifies the tragedy, however, is when he finally grows more comfortable, able to enjoy the love of his new family and companionship of his colleagues, but has that all torn away all at once. From the moment he had to stop living his life as Klein Moretti, his character starts to shift. Now not only is he facing that ever present hole in his heart from his life before he transmigrated, he has now lost his only emotional anchors he had in this worldā¦
I havenāt finished lotm quite yet, but in my eyes Klein is a character who craves rest and companionship. He cares so deeply about the people in his life but is constantly forced to hold back for numerous reasons. His lifestyle drags him from mission to mission uncovering secrets and battling insane beings without much rest. We can read this shift in his character quite obviously through the personas he dons (Iāll probably make a different post about this at a later timeā¦). But the point isā¦he never lets himself be truly at ease. Not because he doesnāt want to, but because he canāt.
The tragedy of knowing what you wantāof knowing yourself so well to understand that what you desire most can never be fulfilled without changing the world you find yourself in, and choosing to change things regardless of how much pain you find yourself in during the processāthat is the sort of tragedy Klein represents.
āWe are guardians, but also a bunch of miserable wretches that are constantly fighting against dangers and madness.ā
