$LAYYYTER
Cosimo Galluzzi
Claire Keane
YOU ARE THE REASON
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
oozey mess
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JBB: An Artblog!
Janaina Medeiros
Cosmic Funnies
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if i look back, i am lost
Stranger Things
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@namjoonenthusiastt
One year for christmas, svetlana manages to get her hands on a few photos of irina and gifts them to ilya for christmas.
Its a very emotional affair and shane is there to console his husband through the emotions of having these photos that will prevent him from forgetting what she looks like, and he's SO grateful to svetlana for being able to give this to ilya but also.
Also inside he's fucking FUMING bc there is NO WAY he can win at giving ilya gifts after this. what the hell sveta.
I'm all out of elegant well-phrased thoughts. Anyone else think Ilya "gonna butter him up so he stays" Rozanov sucked Shane off on the countertop when Shane got to his house in episode four? Like, he didn't pull that move of lifting Shane onto the countertop just to kiss right? It was Step 1A of his grand plan, titled: "suck him off while in a half-squat." Anyone else think he made Shane come like three times so that by the time he asked Shane to stay the night Shane was like 90% sex hormone, 5% Hockey on TV later, 4% hungry guy, and 1% thinking brain? Forget the tuna melts. Ilya was like "I have to exhaust him physically and deposit him on the couch with hockey on TV in comfy oversized sweats and his favorite Canadian soda." Ilya knew he couldn't put on a shirt this day. The shirtlessness was the primary anchor of The Plan. All this was planned. And the son of a bitch almost pulled it off.
big fan of shane complimenting ilya in the long game
They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help
After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly
And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?
Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose
Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.
kingdom - hollanov - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 686 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3
"One story before bed?" Jade whined, her big, brown eyes making Ilya's heart ache as they reminded him of Shane. "Dad always tells us stories when he's home."
"Jade, you have to go to sleep," Shane said from the armchair, smiling fondly as all of the Pike children cuddled up to Ilya on the couch. "It's your bedtime."
"Oh, Hollander, you are killjoy," Ilya said, waving his hand in the air. "One story will not kill anyone. Plus, if boring Pike can tell story, so can we!" He grinned as Shane shot him a warning look. "Okay. Let me think." he looked around for a moment, clearly seeking inspiration. "Ah! Okay, once on a time there was two kingdoms. One was kingdom of yellow and black and one was kingdom of blue and red. And each kingdom had beautiful prince..princess."
The children made ooohh and ahhhh noises, settling into the cushions.
"Of course, the princess of the yellow and black kingdom, Lily, was a little more beautiful than princess of other kingdom, Jane, but is not important," Ilya said with a smirk, eyeing Shane, who snorted derisively. "Anyway. One day, the princesses met. Because...uh...they are having a painting made. And after painting, they realize: they are in love!"
The kids let out little yelps of delight, making both Shane and Ilya smile.
"Yes, yes, is very romantic. But there is problem! The kingdoms, they are enemies!" Ilya exclaimed dramatically, throwing his hands in the air and beaming as the kids gave him scandalized looks.
Shane couldn't help but grin fondly, entranced by the way Ilya spoke to the children.
"So, Lily–she is the more beautiful, more talented one, yes? She is very brave. She asks Jane to meet her to have...um..."
"Have tea!" Shane jumped in, narrowing his eyebrows at Ilya, who grinned and winked.
"Yes, tea! The princesses, they are very good at tea. Love tea very much," Ilya agreed, stifling laughter as the two of them avoided eye contact so as to not lose it completely. "And they have tea together often, yes? And fall so much in love."
"But it was a secret? The love?" Jade asked, eyes as wide as saucers.
"Yes," Ilya nodded somberly. "Very sad, right? The princesses were very scared that their love would not be accepted by their kingdoms. And then one day, very bad thing happened."
"What?!?"
"A...letter. A letter that was sent between them. Was found by Jane's friend and both kingdoms found out," Ilya replied, nodding his head like he was delivering terrible news.
And of course, all of the children were staring at him with rapt fascination, like this was the most terrible thing they hear in their lives. Shane grinned at the sight.
"What then?" Arthur asked, fully in awe.
"Well, some people, they do not like it. Many people in both kingdoms were very angry. They say the princesses were being...betraying," Ilya explained heavily, but Shane could hear the emotion in his voice. "The princesses were very sad, that their love was treated this way. Like was not real."
"But it was," Jade frowned indignantly, like she was ready to fight kingdoms herself.
"It was," Ilya agreed, smiling softly at her. "So what do they do?"
"Fight!"
"No, no," he admonished, smiling. "They find new kingdom. A red and black one, with both of their colors. This kingdom loves and accepts them, and is happy for them and their love. And now, they are together forever, happily ever after."
Shane smiled along with the kids, eyes finding Ilya's.
"Good! They should be happy," Jade said with a grin, hopping up and dragging Ruby with her towards their bedroom.
"Mmm. It was a good story," Shane agreed, standing and gesturing for Arthur to get up as well, while Ilya helped Amber. "Inspired by anything in real life?"
Ilya grinned. "No, Hollander. Do not be so stupid. Fairy tales are not real."
But as they walked together with the two youngest Pike children off to their bedrooms, grinning and bumping hips, it kind of felt like they were.
MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE
#obsessed with the tummy touches
Shane touching Ilya's face when they kiss is one of my favorite things ever
the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play
@hutsonwoolyums tags 😭
cliff marleau and ilya rozanov are best friends not because they’re teammates or marleau was assigned to look after roz when he first got to the raiders, but because, even though it takes so much alcohol to get him drunk, when ilya gets drunk he can only be described as white girl wasted and marly is the EXACT same way. they are in the mens bathroom in front of the mirror like “is my shirt unbuttoned enough for people to look at my tits?” “yeah man your boobs look GREAT! can you tell me if these jeans look good on my ass i think i saw a girl eying me” “marly your ass looks phenomenal and you can trust me on this as i am a well known ass man” “aw man rozzy you’re making me blush”
they share clothes all of the time, not even really on purpose, they just spend so much time hungover together that things get muddled. this isn't a problem until marley sees shane hollander, wearing his shirt??? obviously he immediately accuses ilya of cheating on him (partying without inviting him to join). shane is visibly devastated, ilya is frantically explaining, and thats how marley is the first person in the nhl to learn about hollanov
finally some good fucking food
patient needs neck kisses to survive
At some point after they're married, Shane and Ilya are apart for like a week for ~reasons~ and when they're both home again, Shane basically jumps Ilya by the front door and drags him to the bedroom.
After they're finished fucking, Shane says something to the effect of, "I can't believe I used to go months without this."
And Ilya, as smug and satisfied as the cat who got the proverbial cream, replies, "Bet you wouldn't have held out for two years if you'd known what getting fucked felt like, huh?"
"Maybe," Shane says. He's still kind of out of it, so the next words slip out thoughtlessly, "I mean, I wanted to when we first planned it. I just kind of freaked out when it fell through and you left me on read."
Ilya's heart drops. "What do you mean?"
Shane does not pick up on his change in tone. "Just made me feel like I was alone in how much I wanted it. Obviously when you kept messaging me I realized I wasn't but it took a while to get over that feeling, y'know?"
Then he yawns, turning over to cuddle into Ilya's side, already drifting off and unaware that Ilya is now wide awake, staring up at the ceiling and wondering if wanting to go back in time and wring his nineteen year old self's neck counts as thoughts of self harm.
good night to shane hollander who is currently laying in bed and patting his chest two times when he hears familiar footsteps coming into the bedroom.
good night to ilya rozanov who is crawling on top of him and collapsing down and smiling at the satisfied, punched-out "huuuhgh" he gets as he settles his entire weight on top of his boyfriend as requested.
