Dr.Nebula's lair

I was talking to a moth the other evening

[nebulas-lair]

Will only need $24.99.

When you see this message, you are lucky to have a famous glasses holiday promotion for as little as $24.99.

@despoin-a @starfleetrambo @curseworm @itzmahboobeh @oylmpians @hellish-daddy @funnybrunette @setheverman @constable-frozen @prozdvoices @c-teardrops @suspend @deathball383 @landwalker @talking-wifi @old-friends-senior-dog-sanctuary @sonotitgirl @colorfulgradients @shitpostgenerator @shesheistyy @pokemon @new-xkit-extension @oblwankenobi @anakinskyguy @skygalskywalker @bb8isreallygreat @strongbowdarkfruit @recentgooglesearches @meowsterwives @brokenyethealingquickly @ambiguities @jonothoughts @memedocumentation @746a70 @clickholeofficial @humoristics @destinydiamante @constantly-blindsided @meep23 @captain-sauctin @pepe-leaker @pokemongamemusic @alloverthegaf @ugly @ye-ol-askmeanything-blog @fuqmydrag @humorrelated @deeply-iinsane @unrealisinq @somewhere-beyond-galaxy @danger @perrfectly @cxbra1995 @chill4alil @sentimentado @follow-the-night @iamlostinspace-blog @infinite-celestial-harmony @daisyrebelo @satinoir @misterwives @engorged @thatsthat24 @talls @perks-of-being-chinese @skykangaroo @alrexnader @toasty-coconut @theonion @retiredjesus @anthonyamorim @unflatteringpicturesofbenwyatt @lvndscapes-blog @tombstxne @pornusual @foreverflippingpages @dandelion-sex-fluids @floccinaucinihilipilificationa @dream-a-little-longerxx @monterne @eurasiangf @joshpeck @tropicalsteppe @amycheerios @theycallmebookiecookie-blog @pdlcomics @h2nosexual @becausebirds @afk @vanssnow @lizclimo @bulbagarden @thekriegerarmy @actionables @odin-n-out @inabasket @missfrodo @limondoritos @anendlesswinter @gangrelated @whistler-blog-blog @whistlerphotography-blog @tukut @oceamic @elsa5s @irrelephant-misteaks @tvfilmlife @shinycaterpie @no-encores @anue @gts-fails @ronswansonquotes @ronswansonappreciationsociety @pansexuallabyrinth @pokemongifs @vivyllons @zackisontumblr @pokemonstuffism @lumiose-museum-blog @kasuria @ribombbee @larvitars @magical-senpai @amphlosion @sealeo @annabannanabethchase @magiic-alex @monsieurtoast @ufogirl98 @baesguitar @awesometastical101 @pissent @novariah @osha-bros @jewsnpokemon @mioch @thesnowybaron @bewbin @pokemongiveaways @ultrafagatron @hotwomennextdoor @thebluthcompany @rabalogy @pokechampion @eevee-ray @musicalcombusken @haiezd @officialunitedstates @gbaskin @alexs-favorite-stuff @notch @pokemonsafari @firstgenfriends @poke-problems @ineffa8le @ratpcks @thedevotedcheese @life-is-about-pokemonz @melodicscavenger @smeaqol @gay-dissapointment @chaibunny @damn-funny @loveruns @twerklikumeanit @5eversad @methimatics @ghroovy-blog @theblackship @exhausted-bones @captain-raviolevi @emperorrantarctica @assbutt45 @woshuwash @hotboyproblems @0utbox @immortal-life @australiansanta @prejaculate @3amheatbeat @ambomergnc @kevrudd @tyrone-got-his-shit-together-and @sugarparent-blog @sofapizza @shortvideosandstuff @420moshdad @joshrah @avatardad @churrogirl1999 @thedaysgrowshort @britishpike @letmesmokearainbow @madvacado @bedfish @yackowarner @endlesspotatoes @miss-bvnny @jobamacare @dailyhangover @wutevsbevs @samalala @fully-functional-freak @salope @starsdontfade @frostedpuffs @borinq @fuckyeahloldemort @fuckyeahtxtposts @mattg124 @stuffinmybrainhole @kats-in-space @wh1pp00rw1ll @lyrics-for-today @americasgreatoutdoors @communitythings @linsaylohanvevo @jacksonthespacedog @realism-veils-all @call-me-magic-mike @alishaacool @donadze-stanislavaqvs963 @lytesymonto74032-blog @valapunanyme7915-blog @mecohalupo4164-blog @deryxakadoco2222-blog @buckfutibumters-blog @taras-sobchenyuk22n9-blog @presidentpet-blog @tootyfrootykindamoody-blog @josie-alforque @whoisthewz @thewestcoastkid @achmathd @cooldonnaraven-blog @gowithmsa @frenchmontanavevo @december11thstuff @bljng @keepcalmkeepfunny @maximumnacho

[nebulas-lair]

Will only need $24.99.

When you see this message, you are lucky to have a famous glasses holiday promotion for as little as $24.99.

@despoin-a @starfleetrambo @curseworm @itzmahboobeh @oylmpians @hellish-daddy @funnybrunette @setheverman @constable-frozen @prozdvoices @c-teardrops @suspend @deathball383 @landwalker @talking-wifi @old-friends-senior-dog-sanctuary @sonotitgirl @colorfulgradients @shitpostgenerator @shesheistyy @pokemon @new-xkit-extension @oblwankenobi @anakinskyguy @skygalskywalker @bb8isreallygreat @strongbowdarkfruit @recentgooglesearches @meowsterwives @brokenyethealingquickly @ambiguities @jonothoughts @memedocumentation @746a70 @clickholeofficial @humoristics @destinydiamante @constantly-blindsided @meep23 @captain-sauctin @pepe-leaker @pokemongamemusic @alloverthegaf @ugly @ye-ol-askmeanything-blog @fuqmydrag @humorrelated @deeply-iinsane @unrealisinq @somewhere-beyond-galaxy @danger @perrfectly @cxbra1995 @chill4alil @sentimentado @follow-the-night @iamlostinspace-blog @infinite-celestial-harmony @daisyrebelo @satinoir @misterwives @engorged @thatsthat24 @talls @perks-of-being-chinese @skykangaroo @alrexnader @toasty-coconut @theonion @retiredjesus @anthonyamorim @unflatteringpicturesofbenwyatt @lvndscapes-blog @tombstxne @pornusual @foreverflippingpages @dandelion-sex-fluids @floccinaucinihilipilificationa @dream-a-little-longerxx @monterne @eurasiangf @joshpeck @tropicalsteppe @amycheerios @theycallmebookiecookie-blog @pdlcomics @h2nosexual @becausebirds @afk @vanssnow @lizclimo @bulbagarden @thekriegerarmy @actionables @odin-n-out @inabasket @missfrodo @limondoritos @anendlesswinter @gangrelated @whistler-blog-blog @whistlerphotography-blog @tukut @oceamic @elsa5s @irrelephant-misteaks @tvfilmlife @shinycaterpie @no-encores @anue @gts-fails @ronswansonquotes @ronswansonappreciationsociety @pansexuallabyrinth @pokemongifs @vivyllons @zackisontumblr @pokemonstuffism @lumiose-museum-blog @kasuria @ribombbee @larvitars @magical-senpai @amphlosion @sealeo @annabannanabethchase @magiic-alex @monsieurtoast @ufogirl98 @baesguitar @awesometastical101 @pissent @novariah @osha-bros @jewsnpokemon @mioch @thesnowybaron @bewbin @pokemongiveaways @ultrafagatron @hotwomennextdoor @thebluthcompany @rabalogy @pokechampion @eevee-ray @musicalcombusken @haiezd @officialunitedstates @gbaskin @alexs-favorite-stuff @notch @pokemonsafari @firstgenfriends @poke-problems @ineffa8le @ratpcks @thedevotedcheese @life-is-about-pokemonz @melodicscavenger @smeaqol @gay-dissapointment @chaibunny @damn-funny @loveruns @twerklikumeanit @5eversad @methimatics @ghroovy-blog @theblackship @exhausted-bones @captain-raviolevi @emperorrantarctica @assbutt45 @woshuwash @hotboyproblems @0utbox @immortal-life @australiansanta @prejaculate @3amheatbeat @ambomergnc @kevrudd @tyrone-got-his-shit-together-and @sugarparent-blog @sofapizza @shortvideosandstuff @420moshdad @joshrah @avatardad @churrogirl1999 @thedaysgrowshort @britishpike @letmesmokearainbow @madvacado @bedfish @yackowarner @endlesspotatoes @miss-bvnny @jobamacare @dailyhangover @wutevsbevs @samalala @fully-functional-freak @salope @starsdontfade @frostedpuffs @borinq @fuckyeahloldemort @fuckyeahtxtposts @mattg124 @stuffinmybrainhole @kats-in-space @wh1pp00rw1ll @lyrics-for-today @americasgreatoutdoors @communitythings @linsaylohanvevo @jacksonthespacedog @realism-veils-all @call-me-magic-mike @alishaacool @donadze-stanislavaqvs963 @lytesymonto74032-blog @valapunanyme7915-blog @mecohalupo4164-blog @deryxakadoco2222-blog @buckfutibumters-blog @taras-sobchenyuk22n9-blog @presidentpet-blog @tootyfrootykindamoody-blog @josie-alforque @whoisthewz @thewestcoastkid @achmathd @cooldonnaraven @gowithmsa @frenchmontanavevo @december11thstuff @bljng @keepcalmkeepfunny @maximumnacho

[dragginage]

please please please teach your children to cook while they still live under your roof. even the most elementary things can’t be overlooked. because i just had to show my 24 year old boyfriend how to use a potato peeler and now i need to lay down for an hour

[dragginage]

i hate this post because it just proves that like.. no simple statement can just be absorbed and the general population of tumblr go ‘yeah that sounds about right.’ i’ve had nazis say it’s a woman’s job to cook, terfs say that it’s only ‘males’ who don’t know how to cook, people have accused me of being classist because some people don’t own potatio peelers, called a bitch for airing out my boyfriend’s dirty laundry (which if the most embarrassing thing i can procure about the guy is that he’s not great in the kitchen i’d say he’s okay lmao)

just shut up and teach your fucking children to cook holy shit dude

[teawitch]

My brother, a square bulk of a man in his mid-fifties who’s spent decades working in plumbing and air-conditioner maintenance, said he was going home to make dinner and the men he works with looked at him like he’d announced he was going home to do sorcery. 

“You cook?”

He shrugged. “Well, I eat.”

Then he hopped on his Harley and roared home to cook dinner for his wife and kids. 

[fallintolife]

I feel like my roommates are probably aliens and I’m teaching them how humans eat with my grocery choices

[fallintolife]

when I first moved in the fridge had like… water in it. and some mustard. definitely people things but ???

and then I bought a bigass jar of peanut butter and two days later… another jar of peanut butter appears. same size, same brand. uh.

[fallintolife]

I buy a box of cereal. more cereal appears.

I buy lactaid. silk soymilk appears.

I bought a jar of freakin’ mayo and a different mayo of the same size appeared in the fridge.

[fallintolife]

one day these aliens are going to find out that I’m allergic to most common foods, and boy are they gonna be mad

[fallintolife]

“this isn’t how humans eat?? was ours broken????”

[seizerofdarkness]

underrated post

[898-deactivated20210515]

I just DIED

[musicismylife120191]

[guapobeard]

😂😂 dumbass exposed hisself

[pinkprincessrei-deactivated2020]

ARE YOU A BONE OR BLOOD PERSON.

ARE YOU A VOID OR ABYSS PERSON.

ARE YOU A ROT OR DUST PERSON.

[massivelimestonecube]

tumblr glitched and decided to display this post with a slight tremor and i thought i was hallucinating but i managed to record it

[cosmy]

[stimman3000]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BmBPaqIlunM/

[tchaikovsgay]

Why are customers stupid as fuck

[tchaikovsgay]

“Does the decaf coffee have caffeine?” What the fuck do you think!

[tchaikovsgay]

“Can I get a bacon sandwich”

“Which one sir? We have three of them”

“The one with the bacon on it”

[tchaikovsgay]

Hi my name is Customer McDumbass and I ordered six frappaccinos, all different, during a rush right before my flight is supposed to board and I’m mad my drinks aren’t done yet!

[key--lime--pie]

Um. Decaf has caffeine. Chemically decaffeinated somewhat less so than Swiss water process decaf, but it still has enough to fuck with particularly sensitive people.

[tchaikovsgay]

I mentioned this in the replies but the customer asked because they wanted the coffee with the MOST caffeine and thought decaf was that. It was genuinely stupid I promise

[gamedevgirlie]

Me: “I have a small cappuccino for Caitlin!”

Customer: “What? But I ordered a large Americano!”

Me: “What’s your name?”

Customer: “Laurie”

[tchaikovsgay]

I have customers walk away with the wrong drink so often because of that constantly. Like ma’am, you ordered a large frap. Does this medium hot cup really seem like it’s the right beverage for you???????

[fourthingsandawizard]

“And WHY exactly can’t I use my coupon?”

“…because your coupon is for a regular priced item, and your item is on sale.”

“Well, how was I supposed to KNOW it was on sale?”

“Well, ma'am, there was a sign right above it on the shelf–”

“I came in here to SHOP, not to READ.”

[shadow-banned-the-hedgehog]

Dude I have people with bones coming out of their body asking me if I think it’s an emergency and if they should go to the hospital or wait till it gets better. Like humans are just plain stupid

[therealjaesepticeye]

WHY CANT I USE MY COUPON TWICE???

[egotisticalfloof]

“Where are my vouchers? I was told I would get them!”

“No sir, you took out business with us two months before the voucher offer started.”

“So I’m going to get my vouchers?”

“No sir, because you started business with us before the offer began.”

“I want my vouchers!”

“You aren’t eligible for any voucher sir.”

“This is ridiculous! I was told I would get vouchers.”

“Actually sir we’ve listened to all the calls, and no one mentioned the vouchers to you.”

“…So when will I get my vouchers?”

[spibbyy]

B o I

[britinboots]

[fiddler-unroofed]

Reblogging for the comic

[metrophobic]

That “grabbing the obviously wrong drink” thing pissed me off so much when I was a barista. It really made me lose faith in humanity’s intelligence.

[tchaikovsgay]

Yesterday a woman who ordered a mocha grabbed someone else’s chai, despite names being announced and written on cups, drank half of it, then returned it and yelled at me because it wasn’t her drink. Customers really are that stupid

[vero428]

I work at a hot dog place and I had a couple come in and order two hot dogs. One plain and one with onions and mustard. I labeled them so they knew which was which but they returned a little later complaining that his hot dog didn’t have anything on it even though he ordered it with mustard and onions and that his girlfriends hot dog had mustard and onions instead of being plain….I didn’t even know how to respond.

[problems-of-retail]

I once had a woman complaining about how small our clothes were fitting her. She was shopping in the childrens department.

[southdownswitch]

Me, closing up: wow I’m so glad it’s two minutes until I go home

Tourists: 

[memor-somnis-deactivated2022031]

I think peoples love for conflict make them stupider and more annoying customers cause they deadass tryna find a problem to complain about whenever they go somewhere

[jonphaedrus]

today i: went to a job interview for a position i applied for from a piece of paper taped to the inside of a stall door at the library bathroom and it was with a little old lesbian psychologist and ive been hired to be her and her wife’s personal assistant

they also have two cats one of whom is VERY VERY FAT and ORANGE and has TEENY TINY EARS AND ENORMOUS EYES and he looked at her and said MRABLT and it was SO UNMELODIOUS and i LOVE HIM

[jonphaedrus]

pros to this job: i get paid money and also i get to see this big fat stupid orange cat and his ugly meow every single week

cons to this job: i have to get up at 8 but i dont care because BIG FAT STUPID CAT

[gallusrostromegalus]

I’m so happy for you.

[dagny-hashtaggart-deactivated20]

Basically what I’m saying is “thing that moves like a distorted gif, but in meatspace” works much better than “thing with tons of tentacles” as a visual representation of cosmic horror, IMHO.

[funereal-disease]

Nowadays, sure, but human depictions of cosmic ineffability are always informed by time and place. In the early days of deep-sea exploration, “thing with tons of tentacles” was the very pinnacle of “holy shit what is that”; it’s just that the symbol has aged in a way that the substance has not.

[neurophilosophaster]

CEPHALOPODS IN 1918: horrors from the unknowable depths of blackness only made only the more horrific by animate motions suggesting a flicker of intelligence within their shapeless, fleshy coils CEPHALOPODS IN 2018: squashy frends 🐙😍 

[kyraneko]

The Uncanny Valley migrates … 

[zestyblog]

[greenwithenby-deactivated201609]

People who prefer hot weather: Snow and ice are a pain, and the cold is just kind of uncomfortable even when you wrap up, you know?

People who prefer cold weather: MY SKIN LITERALLY MELTS OFF EVERY SUMMER I AM A FUCKING HUMAN SOUP AS WE SPEAK

[greenwithenby-deactivated201609]

you wouldn’t believe how many people reblogged this to whine about hot weather in the tags.

[nucleic-friend-deactivated20171]

too cold? put on another layer!

too hot? change into thinner clothes!

still too cold? put on another layer!

still too hot? uh, get naked I guess?

still too cold? put on another layer!

still too hot? Ţ̡̜̮̗̟̯͘ͅA̛͈͎̤͙̳̦̱̜̺̪K̢̻̥̥̥̪̙̜̩̗̼̤̻̻͖͍̜͈͉͠ͅE̟͕̩͔̪͓͔̥̦͇̣͇̳͕͉͜ͅ ̠̝̥̖̭̦̼́͝O̩̦͓̠͉̲̲̱̪̹̻̼̭̯͎͈̕͢F̷̸̢̛̙͇͔̜̙̮̗̲̤͇̯͡F̧̨̱̤̲̫͕͔̼̭͙̠̙͙̹̻ͅ ҉̫̠͓̙̠͔̕͜͠Y͡҉̴̘̭̬̳́O̶̶̧͚̞̣̯̩̫̜̩͉̤͎͖̖͟ͅU̶̵̺̠̪̘̱̮̮̙̻͈̣̦̭͠͝͞R̨҉̦̺͓̩̺͖̘̪̥̺͚̱͚͔̪͓̖̰ ̷̸̺͇̳͇̖̥̻̳͚̗̥͙̪̣́S̡̞̳͖̭̯͉̻̠͔̥̹̫̣̼̹͇͜K͏̧͍̪̗̖̜̫̙̱̫͈̟̝̮͈̻̺̯̟̠̀Į̧̙͙͔̠͖̟̕͝Ǹ͖͎̳͍̪̱̞͇̺̘̩͘͜͠

[the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202]

The cold is easily shut out, the heat is inescapable hell

[dashuramode]

THE TRUTH COMES OUT.

Avoidance techniques for the cold:

-more coats, fire, hot food and drink, stay inside, fuzzy sweaters, ear muffs, become a burrito

Avoidance techniques for heat:

-die, I guess.

[isharaytaoshay-deactivated20180]

FUCK. HEAT.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

this answer on a “what’s the most embarrassing thing you did as a kid” reddit thread has been haunting me since i read it

[cheaphalloweencostume]

[abjectionrules-deactivated20200]

love… is stored in the cat

[prismacolorz]

[1e3no]

[copperbadge]

#2, Brute?

[l-heure-du-the]

I made the ugliest noise.

[thekwikemart]

this sequence is one of my all time favourites and screen caps wouldn’t do it justice