D/s is independent from kink (in the sense of non-vanilla sexuality), is independent from sexuality in every form, is independent from the public, is independent from outdoor activities or publicity of any kind, is independent from toys and tools (like whips, plugs, cuffs etc), is independent from micro management (like rules about everything, asking permission for everything, total dependency etc), is independent from anything that is not necessary to establish a power-hierarchy between any number of people in some type of relationship.
You read and hear this so often, not only on Tumblr but everywhere online and offline, that people mistake the tools and techniques that are used in an individual dynamic for the Dynamic itself. D/s, ie Domination/submission, is a relationship-dynamic, in which the involved partners don’t have equal power over some or (almost) all things. D/s means “power-hierarchy”. Someone is dominant, has more power, and someone is submissive, has less power. That’s it.
What exactly you do with this power, or allow to be done, is individually different and there are literally as many possibilities as there are D/s Dynamics in the world.
You can have sex or no sex, kinky sex or vanilla sex, use sex toys or not, do rules and punishments or not, S&M or no S&M, wear a plug or cuffs or never wear anything at all or only wear normal clothing, do domestic service or pet play or nothing like this at all, and so on. This all only describes what you do with the power inequality, how you express it, but it’s not constituents for it, it’s not necessary to have one, to “be D/s”.
D/s isn’t what you DO, it’s who you ARE and where you stand in relation to your partner.
annaxmalina
snowghoul
theartofmadeline
blakekathryn
yousharknotpass
2087
