[sosaysdean]

“hasn’t been profitable since 2006” has me in TEARS PLS DBDNDKDMDND

[kaban-bang]

[valtsv]

"normal guy in an really weird place just chilling" and "weird thing or creature in a really normal place confused as hell" are both extremely funny concepts to me

[valtsv]

this is peak comedy to me

[phantomrose96]

Wife Swap

[stephadoo]

[good-pokemon-center-reviews]

[aru]

Tumblr Code.

[geekishchic]

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “i fill my ass with orange juice”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: ”17 cocks”

always reblog tumblr identification

[amlsh-deactivated20181211]

this post makes me want to gouge my eyes out

[sads]

im laughins so hard who changed it

[ace-beef]

[curioscurio]

My Foretold Mario movie predictions:

"haha we know we're in a video game a la Wreck-it-Ralph"

Luigi does a Fortnite dance

some multiple universe gimmick

toad falls into the "cute adorable little guy with deep voice and is actually kind of violent" animated trope

Peach girlboss moment where she rescues herself from Bowser and someone has to make a comment about it so they can say something like "just because im a girl doesn't mean I can't fight! also sexism is BAD!"

waluigi is not in the film

Jack Black absolutely kills it as Bowser

Chris Pratt actually does a decent Italian accent but still doesn't sound like Mario

Charles Martinet has a Stan Lee esque cameo and one line

The plot introduces a villain that all the characters have to team up against to defeat including Bowser, and the villain somehow doesn't even feel like a Mario character

Toad almost says a swearword or the swear word gets replaced with a child appropriate but still recognizable substitute ( "What the Fire Flower!?!?" "You son of a BULLET")

Seth Rogan does not change his voice in any way for Donkey Kong

innuendo line referencing magic mushrooms "for the adults"

mario is mean to luigi

pop song sung by celebrity that doesn't fit in with the rest of the soundtrack

toby fox is revealed to have composed an absolute banger final boss battle song

[curioscurio]

I'm just so absolutely sure about Peach Girlboss Moment that she gets 4 spaces

[tgwdlmreprised]

[incel-wheatley]

i could fix him but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier

[phantomrose96]

Hey um what. What goddamn business did Omashu have having a King?? Like I never really questioned it since it came from such an early Book One still-world-building episode but. Omashu is a city, for starters, and it’s a city in the Earth Kingdom. Which. You know. HAS a king. 

You know I bet, honestly, Omashu doesn’t have a king. And NEVER had a king. Omashu had a succession of Governors or some shit and on the day that Bumi took the mantle he said “Fuck this ‘Governor Bumi’ stuff that’s lame. Call me King.” and when his advisors said they can’t legally do that Bumi passed a law changing his title from Governor to King, stuck a crown on his head, and called it macaroni.

And the citizens of Omashu were probably just like “alright” cuz like. Bumi strikes me as the kind of Local Town Eccentric who has a working personal relationship with pretty much everyone so all 100,000 people of Omashu heard this decree of Kingship and went “yeah that tracks” and got on with their day.

Outside of Omashu though? Good god. That’s gotta be a fucking look. At this point 112-year-old Bumi has been ‘King’ for a lifetime longer than the actual Earth King. What a look. How much sleep do you think Long Feng loses about this??? How many assassination attempts do you think he tried to carry out, only to have the Dai Lee come crawling home with the imprint of Bumi’s face smashed into their armor and some rock candy stuffed into their socks?

Ba Sing Se adores its appearance of order and structure and hierarchy and I cannot even begin to imagine their Daily Hell of dealing with Omashu’s centenarian feast-loving candy-munching batshit unhinged and utterly unkillable pseudo-King. 

The Fire Nation taking over Omashu was probably the happiest goddamn day of Long Feng’s life.   

[withclawsandsympathy]

Long Feng: “King Bumi isn’t real, he can’t hurt me”

King Bumi:

[makiruz]

There’s a whole dessert protecting the Earth King from Bumi

[m-ilotic]

[babyyoumakemelesmiserable]

actually crying rn

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

interviewer: Mr. Wayne, have you heard of the popular internet jokes about you dating Batman?

bruce wayne: Yes I have heard of them, but if I were going to date any superhero it'd be Superman and not an overdramatic furry

[bisexualshakespeare]

#clark kent suddenly there breathless: Mr. Wayne could you elaborate on your desire to date superman?

[slab-o-meat]

i know this clip is kind of long but bare with me when i say its one of my absolute favorite under-rated simpsons scene

[serfuzzypushover]

Trying

[warplanerubdown]

[drtanner]

I love this video so much. This cat, trying so hard to sip like a people. Desperate to sip like a people. Objectively incapable of sipping like a people.

[lady-byleth]

Okay but you know what this tells me? That this cat really loves its owners. Cuz like, cats mirror us when they like us. That’s why they hang out on laptops. They want to do what we do because that’s how they show affection. So this cat saw its human drink like that…and decided to do it too cuz but it’s hard so it keeps trying. That’s love.

[disc80s]

biting is a love language. no i will not elaborate.

[chilewithcarnage]

[noahsegans]

so i’m watching the first Silent Hill and noticed my cat was too

here he is digging it

and here he is not digging it anymore

[valleycrest]

ben 10 is actually the most realistic series centering around a child who suddenly gains superpowers because he just uses them for stupid petty mundane shit

[valleycrest]

-uses my fucked up alien eldritch ghost powers to steal a golf cart-