💗Day 2: Heartbeat💗 bonding at the library (⌒∇⌒)/
we're not kids anymore.
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
cherry valley forever
dirt enthusiast
AnasAbdin

Origami Around

#extradirty
🪼
noise dept.
KIROKAZE
tumblr dot com
Cosmic Funnies

oozey mess
DEAR READER

if i look back, i am lost
Keni

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
trying on a metaphor
No title available
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Singapore

seen from Malaysia
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Argentina

seen from Italy

seen from Serbia

seen from United Kingdom

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seen from Iraq

seen from Malaysia
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@nerdybirdy95
💗Day 2: Heartbeat💗 bonding at the library (⌒∇⌒)/
yoda, you old sponge
this is based on a text post I saw a few months ago that i caN’T FIND NOW (edit: HERE IT IS. thank you anon)
anyway i thrive on domestic headcanons so.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: Look yonder! Someone has writ upon that ceiling that thou art most easily gulled!
Elizabethan Peasant 2: More fool they, for I cannot read.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: *sighing, lowers his visage unto his palm*
Elizabethan Peasant 1: Lo, hast thou learned to read?
Elizabethan Peasant 2: Verily, and to compose as well.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: With haste, then, how is the word “i cup” composed?
Elizabethan Peasant 1: what ho, I know a sporting jest! What art thou when thou art a peasant and art occupied in a privy?
Elizabethan Peasant 2: I wist not, but certain am I that thou shalt tell me speedily.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: Most verily, thou art a peon.
Elizabethan Child: Father, I have not yet broken fast and am filled with pangs of hunger.
Elizabethan Father: Hail, Filled With Pangs Of Hunger! Mine own name is Wybert.
Elizabethan Scholar 1: Alack, I have in my purse but sixty-nine pence.
Elizabethan Scholar 2: Lusty fellow, knowst thou well what such a sum portends!
Elizabethan Scholar 1: I…I have not sufficient to sup on fowl.
Elizabethan Scholar 1: Mine name is verily Micheal with a ‘b’, and I hast been afraid of insects mine entire life.
Elizabethan Scholar 2: Cease cease cease. Wither is the bee?
Elizabethan Scholar 1: Thither is a bee?
Elizabethan husband: Wife, ho! Bring forth my keys!
Elizabethan wife: [throws a writing slope before him]
Elizabethan husband: My keys, my keys! What, hast thou not ears?
Elizabethan wife: I thought thou said writing slope.
Elizabethan husband: Devil take thee; why would I say writing slope?
Elizabethan daughter: Harken father! Tis the valorous kush!
Elizabethan father: Thou art in the petty market; how valorous mayest it be?
Elizabethan Peasant: Good morrow, my fine fellows! Thou mayest call me Jared, I has’t seen 19 years upon the Good Lord’s green earth, but I am melancholic, for I must admit it was not my privilege to learn to decipher script.
Elizabethan Scholar: whosoever didst throw that crumpled parchment: thine mother is naught but a poxy trollop
Please stop posting bullshit..
are you new here?
I wanted to keep this blog “bad words” free but…. All my favorite characters cuss like a sailor and there’s no tomorrow So yeah Here is Zarek of Moesia from Dance with the devil by Sherrilyn Kenyon.
Ah but to be a waterdrop with googly eyes
Calcifer’s cousin
Dragonguard Rayla
Persephone: I want to wake up with you for the rest of my life
Hades: I wake up at 5
Persephone:
Persephone: I want to go to bed with you for the rest of my life
On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face.
THIS JOINT!!!!
BITCHHHHHHH. I got on this shit when I was 12. Wasn’t no bar, no protection, nothing in that shit. I didn’t realize until it was too late. You couldn’t pay me to ever get on this shit ever again in my life. We were in Landover, this shit almost smooth flipped my ass to Baltimore. No. Never again.
12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.
?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????
centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.
Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho
why is this so funny
Throwback to that time Zuko thought he could take down an airbending master that had fans
Current mood
mood. and alternatively:
Do non-americans realize that the United States is literally just a bunch of countries in a trench coat that agreed to be semi-nice to each other in order to sneak into the Big Boy Club? Because let’s be honest that’s just what the USA is
The rest of the world: So… you’re a big country?
The states, standing on each other’s shoulders: Y- yes,,,
I love how everyone who’s reblogged this hasn’t added anything on or tagged anything on it. They’re all just like “Yeah. That’s it. That’s the entire United States summed up in one post-”
#oh my god is THAT why you guys are so weird
Yeah 100%
Don’t let these tags die omfg
10/10 can confirm
absolutely bonkers that my own tags have crossed my dash like this more than fifteen reblogs after i wrote them
I moved to another state. 30 minutes away. My family acts like I betrayed them and can’t understand my life choices. It’s completely different way of life, especially during covid. Completely different country.
every single fucking time one of those articles of “things europeans find weird about america” complains that sales tax isn’t included
states set the sales tax!!! it’s literally different across state lines!!! american retailers can’t add it bc they’d have to account for 50 different prices!!!!!!!
It gets even more insane! California’s clean air standards for cars and other such things are so much higher than everyone else’s! So if a car manufacturer in Detroit wants to sell their damn cars in California, they need to build their cars to California clean air standards. But retooling an assembly line and car design to have some cars meet California clean air standards, while building others to other clean air standards is a lot of work, so car manufacturers all over the country have to build all their cars to California clean air standards.
Which is why California went into an uproar earlier this year when the Federal Government tried to argue that states can’t set their own environmental guidelines! “Fuck you!” says California, “we remember Los Angeles in the 80s, how bad the smog gets, go pollute your own damn air over in your own damn state where there isn’t a thermal inversion layer to trap all the smog down near ground level!”
“But you’re making it soooo haaaaaard to sell our cars everywhere else!” they whine.
“Fuck you!” California shouts. “And while we’re at it, we don’t give a shit what you say, Mister President, we’re gonna open our damn states when we’re good and ready, and our friends Nevada, Oregon, Colorado, and Washington State agree! Also, we’ve decided to legalize weed!”
“But the Federal Government says it’s illegal!” shouts the other states.
“Fuck you, we make the drug laws in our state, and we say toke up!”
“Now, hang on!” shouts the Federal government. “You can legalize weed in your state, but all banks are federal agencies, so if your weed dispensaries set up bank accounts, those accounts have money from illegal practices in it and are subject to seizure by the federal government!”
“FINE!” shouts California. “Hey, weed guys, you can keep selling weed, but you can only deal in cash!”
“How the fuck is that supposed to work!?”
“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, TAKE IT UP WITH DC!”
“By the way, if you’re gay married elsewhere, we won’t recognize it,” mutters Texas.
“OH FUCK YOUUUUUUU!”
And so it goes and so it goes…
“What’s sales tax?” says Montana. “What’s road maintainence?” “also what’s a speed limit?”
and the feud between neighboring states like, Georgia and Alabama is eternal and will never die. To Georgians ppl from Alabama are the scorn of the earth, Florida is New York in a trench coat but apparently working with the “southern” yankees is preferable to working with the Alabamians, and Alabama feels the same way about Georgia.