This post made me want to do some quick and terrible math, and it's turned out to not be quick, so bear with me:
The Guinness World Record for drinking a 500ml (16.9 fl oz) bottle of water is 1.75 seconds.
The human body contains between 4-6 litres (8.5-12.6 pints) of blood, depending on size and other factors. Women "typically" have 4-5 litres, and men "typically" have 5-6 litres. These are not minimums or maximums, just a typical range.
However blood is, quite famously, thicker than water. A google search that onlookers have called "concerning" tells me that blood is usually 4.5 to 5.5 times more viscous than water.
We're going to assume that liquid viscosity has a 1:1 relationship with drinking speed. Mainly because I don't understand how to use to Viscosity:Flow Rate calculators that I've found online, and also the fact that the vampire is actively drinking the blood would probably throw those calculations off anyway.
So, on the lowest end, a small human with thin blood would be drained dry at record pace in 63 seconds flat. Just over a minute.
Meanwhile, Mr Big, Tall and Thicc would take 115.5 seconds at world record pace, nearly two minutes.
This averages out to 87.5 seconds drain the "average" Human.
However. Human Beings are not Bottles of Water.
For one thing, Bottles of Water don't have a pump inside them moving the water around in a pressurized system that gushes water if punctured.
While I'm not even going to try to calculate blood flow rate combined with vampire suction rate, I feel the need to inform you that a sufficiently wounded human being can bleed out in only 2 minutes.
I am probably on a list now.
The other thing differentiating Human Beings and Bottles of Water is that Human Beings stop working well before they're drained dry. "Bleeding Out" doesn't mean "No More Blood", it means "Not Enough Blood To Continue".
With medical intervention, someone can lose up to 60% of their blood and survive. Without it, they'll die around 40-50%, according to more terrible-sounding google searches.
The Optimistic Vampire says the Human is half-full, the Pessimistic Vampire says the Human is deader than they are.
But this means we're not looking for the 100% Completion speed, but instead we're looking at our Speed Demon's TTK (Time-To-Kill).
So, going back to Tiny Thinblood, and to get our fastest possible TTK, 40% of her 63 second drain speed is 25.2 seconds and 1.6 litres (3.4 pints) of her 4 litres of blood.
And with Mr Big'n'Thicc, we get 50% of his 115.5 second drain speed, to get a time of 57.75 seconds to drink 3 litres (6.3 pints) of his usual 6 litres of blood.
So Mx Average goes down at 39.375 seconds and 2.25 litres (4.75 pints) of his average 5 litres.
So there you go! If your Vamp is a world-record sucker, they should be taking between 25 seconds and a minute to reach the point of no refills on their bloodbag.
Probably less due to the assist from the heart.
By the way, the maximum human stomach volume is between 2-4 litres (4.2-8.5 pints). So a Vampire who drinks enough to kill their victims is absolutely gorging themselves.
andulkaphoto
areudirty
gracieabrams
amandla
2087
yousharknotpass
turnnoffyourmind
gummygunk
