Neutral-Territory

About me: Highscool English/History teacher, Sydney, Australia Check out my Instagram @amelli.kara for my latest cooking endeavours, good food, and wild stuff my students say.

[pinkmanthedog]

We had A Day

[darksaphire2002]

WHERE'S THE FUCKING CONTEXT!? I want to know what bad choices your horse made.

[pinkmanthedog]

[saltoftheao3]

me writing dialogue: everyone is tossing around snappy witticisms like characters in an oscar wilde play and it’s great

me writing descriptions: there were a big ol house over yonder

(submitted by @avantegarda)

[saltoftheao3]

[thisistheglamorous-deactivated2]

[antique-scarecrow]

this is it. this is the single funniest coronavirus meme. what the mcfuck

[iant0jones]

star trek where everything’s the same but instead of saying “fascinating” Spock says “wild”

[eastern-bloc-party-archive]

Do I have to be pretty? Is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the best opinions

[glacecakes]

I am OBSESSED with this tiktok

[hypersexualsportswear]

[helloitsbees]

Schrödinger’s vaguepost

[oppa-homeless-style]

this is the twitter equivalent of the sound of a gun cocking in an unlit parking garage

[miss-v-is-fine]

Professors in teacher school: Write your lesson plans in such detail that a sub could pick it up and run your class with it if you are out

Actual teachers: I would rather come into school with the coronavirus than write a sub plan

[anxietyproblem]

[isthatatiktok]

[damianmcgintleman]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[antique-scarecrow]

#i’ll ask a rich person where the trash is#and they’re like ‘oh right here’#then lead me down 2 hallways through a secret passage and into a cellar#and the trash is in the farthest corner of the cellar in its own closet#and it’s sensor-activated

why are these tags so funny

[averruncusho]

THE BIN OF AMONTILLADO

[chucktaylorupset]

There is nowhere to throw away trash in a rich man’s house except in his face

[mysharona1987]

[spacehomos]

Confess and get the fuck out

[theladytrickster]

These sound like the words of a broken man

[catchymemes]

[nightofthecreeps]

I asked my lawyer if I could make that joke and he said, “let me call another lawyer”, and that lawyer said yes. 

JOHN MULANEY SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 02/29/2020

[thoodleoo]

i think this may be my favorite review of the odyssey ever. like, homer’s odyssey is a marvel of oral tradition and one of the most important and influential poems from ancient greece and this dude just obliterates it with one simple sentence

nah fam

[wemblingfool]

Okay so every single trek uses the Kirk/Spock dynamic between the captain and first officer. The only different between the series are who is which.

Kirks just cannonball themselves into the pool to find out if it's too cold. They take action. YOLO. Either out of curiosity, inability to sit still, or just pure spite.

Spocks do a series of tests from a cautious distance and wait three days to confirm the results before they consider advising anyone to go on. Spocks carefully consider what will happen. They bring the cat back before curiosity kills it.

The funny thing is, this is the only way they work. Because if you put two Spocks together, there ain't no Trekkin' gonna get done. If you put two Kirks together, they gonna yeet their damn ship in the first black hole they find.

Discovery proves this. Michael thinks she's a Spock. Her father thought she's a Spock. Philippa, who is definitely a Kirk, thought she was a Spock.

But Michael is not a Spock. Michael is most definitely a misidentified Kirk. And with a Kirk Captain pushing her on, Michael nearly blew up the whole ass Federation.

Enterprise:

Archer is a Kirk

T'Pol is a Spock

TOS:

Kirk is a Kirk

Spock is a Spock

TNG:

Picard is a Spock

Riker is a Kirk

DS9:

Sisko is a Spock

Kira is a Kirk

Voyager:

Janeway is a Kirk

Chakotay is a Spock

Discovery:

Michael is a Kirk

Philippa was a Kirk

Lorca is a Kirk

Pike is a Kirk

Is it that surprising the Federation got sent to war, the Shinzou was destroyed, and Discovery was thrown into a parallel universe AND into the future?

Is it any wonder Saru is miserable?