noise dept.
Keni
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wallacepolsom
cherry valley forever
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
tannertan36
Kiana Khansmith
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
official daine visual archive
Product Placement
will byers stan first human second
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Jules of Nature
if i look back, i am lost
ojovivo
JVL
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
bliss lane
Andulka
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@neverlandlostfae
grief is so crazy like what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. does she know i loved her. i miss her so much. i catch myself doing things she used to do. i wish i could call her. i miss her so much. i do a crossword puzzle. i cry while washing the dishes. does she know i loved her? my heart feels like a hummingbird. i miss her so much. what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. what if i forget.
when you’ve been depressed for so long that non-depressed people feel like a different species. like, some people just exist without constantly thinking about dying? they can actually maintain hobbies and relationships? they’re not too exhausted to function? they don’t spend half their day dissociating? they actually enjoy being alive? that’s crazy…
man i'm so tired for 2026 already
I’d like to disappear for a while. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t want to know anything.
it is what it is (I can't do this anymore)
I wish my brain and body worked a whole lot better than they do. it sucks here
the current twitter discourse du jour is cervical smear tests for some reason and here is my take: there absolutely is a widespread assumption that if you have a vagina and are over a certain age you'll be habituated to vaginal penetration and this is self-evidently heteronormative and sexist and im honestly amazed that more people don't seem to register it fdkjghfdjk
it's not just an issue w smear tests. was investigated for PCOS not too long ago and when i was referred for an ultrasound absolutely nobody thought to mention that it would be a transvaginal ultrasound. if i hadn't happened to do my own research i would literally have found out on the day of the appointment?? i remain baffled by this
anyway a lot of people on twitter responding to 'actually smear tests are painful for some people' with 'oh well I suppose if you have some kind of medical condition it might be painful' and it's well the thing is people with medical conditions exist in real life
oh the other one is 'well the nurse will be super nice and will make sure you're comfortable and will switch to a smaller speculum if necessary' and i'm like you must know that isn't true. like c'mon. even if all your cervical smear experiences have been positive you must be conscious of the fact that some medical practitioners are assholes about stuff like this. a more helpful statement might be 'your nurse should make sure you're comfortable and if they don't then you don't have to put up with it'.
They are doing this discourse again and as a result I have a couple of working examples of the problem described in the OP:
'speculums open you up less than sex' *loud incorrect buzzer noise* what kind of sex? Not all kinds of sex involve penetration. Why are you assuming that everyone who has a cervix is having penis in vagina sex?
'if you can have penetrative sex you can get basic medical care' ok. If I can't have penetrative sex then what??
'so all these people who are afraid to get a pap smear have never had sex?' yes some adults have never had sex. I don't know what's so unfathomable about that.
anyway so i realise the OP is kind of, mid-argument so here is my actual point best as I can express it:
there is a widespread assumption that if you are an adult with a cervix then you will be having penetrative sex and that, therefore, vaginal penetration in a medical context will be no big deal for you.
this is untrue as a) not everyone is having penetrative sex and b) not everyone who is having penetrative sex finds penetration in a medical context painless and untraumatic.
the result of this is that people for whom cervical smears are significantly painful and/or emotionally distressing are not universally properly accommodated and supported in medical settings.
which is a problem bcos the cervical smear is a very important cancer screening and if a person knows or suspects their medical needs will not be accommodated they might opt not to do it.
i do think the negative interpretations of "im probably nonbinary but i have a job right now" are kind of reaching. it's obviously a waste of time to theorize the op's intended meaning, so instead i think it's better to recognize how the phrase can be a useful framing device to criticize how much of a fucking hassle it is to get gendered correctly. "but i have a job" e.g. will face discrimination that could threaten livelihood; e.g. don't have the mental bandwidth to explain gender to others; e.g. don't have the time and energy for the soul-searching necessary to confirm. all three of these are labor issues. yes you could interpret it as "but being nonbinary isn't important enough to worry about", despite that being a blatantly bad-faith read. it's more useful to interpret it as "but being publicly nonbinary requires a lot of social effort that, in many cultural contexts, will create more problems that you can't afford to deal with". like cmon it's a really good jumping off point for productive conversations about queer labor rights
a gentle “you don’t look well ..” trailing off into a “woah, hey, hey-“ as they lurch forward to steady, or perhaps catch, a most definitely sick character.
undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal
This is called a fault tree. You will always know how to act if your fault tree captures all possible scenarios. In NASA Mission Control during mission critical events like landings there are huge binders with fault tree protocols, kind of like choose your own adventure books except you’re not the one making the choices, the universe is making them for you and you’re just trying to keep up.
The engineers who develop fault trees, I am told, often imagine new ways for their precious spacecraft to die (new branches on the fault trees) either while in the shower or lying awake at 3am, because human
Was just thinking about this the other day. Yeah I have a favorite seat on the bus (middle of the bus, near the back doors, slightly elevated, facing forward), but I don’t get upset if someone is already sitting there, I just pick one of my other favorite spots. Then I realized that most people probably don’t have a favorite bus seat, let alone a series of backup favorites.
Sometimes i think my chronic depression isnt affecting me that much. Then i notice i spent more hours of my day being too tired/scared/hopeless to do anything than doing anything else, for past several days.
In English, we say: " Overthinking "
But in poetry, we say: " The storms in my head ruined the garden that my soul holds"
I don't want my life to be a perpetual load of trying to recover from something after something and someone after someone. I don't want recovery to be all that I am.
i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything
i want to get out of this fucking country asap
Sometimes, I think about how nice it would be to be in a relationship, but then I see my options and sigh. Wdym, I need to tell them that I'm obsessing over a TV show about werewolves and kick my feet while reading long ass fanfics about fictional characters falling in love over and over again? Hell no
