always put salt in your eyes @neverputsaltinyoureyes - Tumblr Blog

beardedmrbean

warmfuzzyphoto

1959

damplaundry

Mari Eastman

I can't believe the bay harbor butcher released the files

#bay harbor butcher meme

aromanticduck

I find it kind of stupid how 'half full' vs 'half empty' is framed as an optimist/pessimist thing. If it starts full and gets halfway drained, it's half empty. If it starts empty and gets halfway filled, it's half full. If you don't know the starting state it's both simultaneously.

theshape0fpunktocome

(Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal by Zach Weinersmith)

#shitshow 2025

ariadne-mouse

me, unloading a fitted sheet from the dryer: *squinting* what's that you've got in your mouth

fitted sheet: nothing :)))))))

me, prying open its twisted jaws: na-ah!!! give it to me RIGHT now!!

fitted sheet: *resentfully spits out a wad of 3 very damp dishtowels, a pillowcase, and a pathetically sodden washcloth*

from 1980

You may or may not regret unmuting this one. :')

#not what i expected

dankxsinatra

prokopetz

Structurally, Heathcliff in its present form is just shitty referential meme humour where 90% of the time the punchline is "laugh because you recognise this reference", except the memes it's referencing exist only in the author's head, which explains basically everything about why Tumblr is into it.

dravidious

prokopetz

#I’m sure heathcliff is exceptionally funny to the guy writing heathcliff (via @brawnie)

karcatgirl-vantas

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

skluug

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

ace-disgrace-on-the-case

False! “Sightly” is a positive word, so the default way for things to work is good as well.

The true most ordinary object is beautiful, horrible sounding, very smelly, intangible, and delicious.

I still don’t think it matches anything in existence but to truly understand a thing one must know its true nature.

professionalchaoticdumbass

"touchy" is also a word! however it's mostly used for things that aren't objects, like subjects of conversation. it either means "oversensitive and irritable" or "requires careful handling/wording, delicate"

i think the second one works well for our hypothetical object. so we can use that.

therefore, the Default Object is:

beautiful

makes a horrendous sound

smells absolutely awful

is very fragile

tastes delicious

and i still cannot think of anything that matches this

and-a-pidgey-in-a-wepear-tree

behold, the default object!

shqrimp

of fucking course

infectiouspiss

violence and death and dying and blood and guts and gore and violence and viscera and fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

ospreyonthemoon

@markscherz do you know what type of frog this is? I can't tell if its a small adult or a baby frog.

markscherz

This is a juvenile Chacophrys pierottii, arguably the most comically proportioned frog ever. Here is an adult. If I had not taken this photo myself I would think it’s some kind of ridiculous meme render.