aperture science exsanguination cranny

cicada | 27 | i think third graders should have a nicotine iv drip

[resetmyfeelings]

[wormpit]

[b0nkcreat]

Random stinging pain in my neck 👀

[creepymutelilbugger]

atacked by my #MindWasp

[b0nkcreat]

Can you put those things on a leash please

[creepymutelilbugger]

Yeah. a really Long one so they can still get u tho

[b0nkcreat]

Commentary on: Society

[infertilityidol]

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

you are weak of mind and horny of spirit

[pjackk]

and metal of body

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

HOLY SHIT PJACK??????

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

HE WAS BACK FOR THREE HOURS, RESPONDED TO MY POST, AND THEN DIED AGAIN????

[ferricsailor]

FIS!

[wondersmith-and-sons]

Which of the following moments in British politics was funniest?

David Cameron allegedly fucking a pig (2015)

Theresa May Brexit deal sees worst parliamentary defeat of any British PM (2019)

Dominic Cummings' social distancing scandal is named #Cumgate (2021)

Matt "Eat Out to Help Out" Hancock caught having affair with his aide (2021)

MP resignations reach critical mass under Boris Johnson (2022)

The Queen dies 2 days after meeting Liz Truss (2022)

Liz Truss who doesn't outlast head of lettuce (2022)

Nigel Farage has to run in by-election against Count Binhead (2026)

I'm American and I never read news from outside of my country

Something else entirely (I'll tell you in the tags)

Remaining time: 1 hour 47 minutes

Note: don't let your recency bias decide this, actually think back to what was the objectively funniest time on the internet.

[stingchronicity]

i always see “tag fav fruit” posts but i’ve never seen a fav veg post so rb & tag your favourite vegetable

[mewvore]

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

[barbaricjester]

I love the word "beeline." youre in such a hurry youre doing bug movement

[pokeballvictimized]

hey there welcome to superpower school, where we teach you to use your dangerous superpowers in a school-like environment. here's your syllabus. as you can see, this class will consistent entirely of occasional world building lectures of no use to anyone who has actually lived in this world for more than a day, and unsupervised practical assignments that place your life and the lives of everyone near you at risk. also we have a tournament arc in around 50 chapters that will inevitably be rife with cheating and will be infiltrated by people who actually for real want to kill you. grading will be on a curve.

[soup-mother]

I'm torn between whether Tohsaka rin could have done 9/11 with magic (Gem magic can melt steel beams) or if she couldn't have done 9/11 because that would involve interacting with technology more recent than a typewriter. I'm leaning towards the second option

[soup-mother]

gilgamesh could have done it with his stupid fucking UFO thing he has in fate zero.

archer could have done it without a doubt

emiya shirou would try and stop 9/11

kiritsugu would do 9/11 just to kill one guy even just by butterfly effect

sakura would do 9/11 if it helped her deal with her sister complex

shinji would get stopped at the airport and detained

[soup-mother]

Shirou: "my dad is a superhero :)"

Shirou's dad the second someone gets in his way:

[ferricsailor]

no you dont masaru

[the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99]

[fidelcostco]

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

[mushroom-soup-is-my-religion]

[kittydealer]

u/Sonnylevrai

[trlake-deactivated20200421]

what’s the pink they put in pink lemonade that makes it so poppin

[craigzlist]

that’s pussy babe!

[sonypraystation]

[imcoolwithonions]

Is there not a single stock photo of someone drinking pink lemonade that would have been easier than putting a pink cloud over a water bottle

[sonypraystation]

you think i do this shit cause it easy

[probuccalfat]

i’m bisexual, i hate my dad, my car is dented to hell, all of my friends have ADHD, i correct people when they pronounce pho wrong, and my phone is always at 20%

[treecitysessions]