trying on a metaphor
we're not kids anymore.
h
DEAR READER
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
RMH
Jules of Nature
d e v o n
Three Goblin Art
⁂
hello vonnie
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
if i look back, i am lost
YOU ARE THE REASON
No title available
Game of Thrones Daily
art blog(derogatory)
Monterey Bay Aquarium
cherry valley forever
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Romania
seen from Türkiye
seen from Portugal
seen from Netherlands
seen from Italy
seen from India
seen from Türkiye
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Poland
seen from Poland
seen from Portugal
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from Portugal
@newlevelofdesperate-blog
“Green is the color of balance, harmony and growth”
“Green is an emotionally positive color, giving us the ability to love and nurture ourselves and others unconditionally. A natural peacemaker, it must avoid the tendency to become a martyr.” x
#EvenWeek | day seven: free choice
pan buds
Don’t ever make fun of someone who’s deeply invested in something fictional. Whether it’s a cartoon, a comic, a video game, a book series, or anything else like that. You don’t know what that thing means to them. Maybe it’s prevented them from hurting themselves, or helped them get through an illness or a bad situation. Maybe they met their only true friends through the fandom. Perhaps they simply just enjoy the thing because it’s well-written and entertaining, and they’ve spent years watching the characters grow.
Let people have emotions over something they enjoy, okay?
This is an A+ post
Good post op
even appreciation week day six: favourite isak/even moment
Even Appreciation Week Day 7 » free choice
"You know, the only way to have something for infinity, is by losing it."
skamdom: *feebly gifs the same scenes over and over and over again in a desperate attempt to keep the fandom alive*
henrik: even’s denim jacket has a green sketchbook and a rainbow bouncy ball
skamdom:
henrik: :)
skamdom:
Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder (DSPD)
According to the International Classification of Sleep Disorders (ICSD), the circadian rhythm sleep disorders share a common underlying chronophysiologic basis:
The major feature of these disorders is a misalignment between the patient’s sleep pattern and the sleep pattern that is desired or regarded as the societal norm… In most circadian rhythm sleep disorders, the underlying problem is that the patient cannot sleep when sleep is desired, needed or expected.
The ICSD (page 128-133) diagnostic criteria for delayed sleep-phase disorder are:
There is an intractable delay in the phase of the major sleep period in relation to the desired clock time, as evidenced by a chronic or recurrent complaint of inability to fall asleep at a desired conventional clock time together with the inability to awaken at a desired and socially acceptable time.
When not required to maintain a strict schedule, patients will exhibit normal sleep quality and duration for their age and maintain a delayed, but stable, phase of entrainment to local time.
Patients have little or no reported difficulty in maintaining sleep once sleep has begun.
Patients have a relatively severe to absolute inability to advance the sleep phase to earlier hours by enforcing conventional sleep and wake times.
Sleep–wake logs and/or actigraphy monitoring for at least two weeks document a consistent habitual pattern of sleep onsets, usually later than 2 a.m., and lengthy sleeps.
Occasional noncircadian days may occur (i.e., sleep is “skipped” for an entire day and night plus some portion of the following day), followed by a sleep period lasting 12 to 18 hours.
The symptoms do not meet the criteria for any other sleep disorder causing inability to initiate sleep or excessive sleepiness.
Some features of DSPD which distinguish it from other sleep disorders are:
People with DSPD have at least a normal—and often much greater than normal—ability to sleep during the morning, and sometimes in the afternoon as well. In contrast, those with chronic insomnia do not find it much easier to sleep during the morning than at night.
People with DSPD fall asleep at more or less the same time every night, and sleep comes quite rapidly if the person goes to bed near the time he or she usually falls asleep.
DSPD patients can sleep well and regularly when they can follow their own sleep schedule, e.g. on weekends and during vacations.
DSPD is a chronic condition. Symptoms must have been present for at least one month before a diagnosis of DSPD can be made.
People with DSPD can be called night owls. They feel most alert and say they function best and are most creative in the evening and at night. People with DSPD cannot simply force themselves to sleep early. They may toss and turn for hours in bed, and sometimes not sleep at all, before reporting to work or school. Less extreme and more flexible night owls, and indeed morning larks, are within the normal chronotype spectrum. *
let me explain something called DSPD, or Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder.
it’s often mistaken for insomnia, however they are two separate sleep disorders which are totally different from eachother.
insomnia is when people have a hard time falling asleep at all no matter what time it is or how tired they are. people claim to have insomnia when they’re up late and can’t sleep for some hours and end up falling asleep at like 2am. however that also is not insomnia. a true insomniac would be awake for at least a week straight and be getting drivin insane by their sleep deprivation.
DSPD however, is nowhere near. people with DSPD sleep the same amount of hours a person without it would sleep, with just as good quality. the only difference is the time.
for example a normal person would be asleep from 9pm to 6am right? let’s say their friend is also asleep for the same amount of hours. from 11pm to 8am. get it? same amount of hours asleep, just a few hours off.
now a person with DSPD is the same way, except with hours deemed “unreasonable” by society. for example falling asleep at 6am and waking up at 3pm. or 7am-4pm. same amount of sleep. just at the wrong time.
this is where this becomes a problem. because as you know, the world runs on a schedule including school and work where people have to wake up around 6 and 7am.
imagine falling asleep at 6am and waking up at 7am every day 5 times in a row. or a lot of the time getting barely any sleep at all. like falling asleep at 6:50 and getting up at 7.
imagine going a whole buisness week on about 3 hours worth of sleep.
that is where people would mix up dspd for insomnia. “you were up all night again? you must have insomnia”.
however, if you were allowed to do things on your own schedule, for example on weekends and during school vacations, you’d sleep perfectly fine although untimely, where a person with insomnia would not still not get any sleep at all.
not only do you get a tiny bit of sleep during the school week, but you have to read boring books and fill out work sheets and do math problems and write essays at what feels like 12 midnight to you every day. they also want you to do physical excersize. and youre surrounded by people who dont like you and make fun of you. and then the school expects you to go home and do even more work sheets and reading and math problems and essays. and if you don’t do this you’re labeled a problem child or a bad person and a failure and stupid. and you fail at life with no education and no career and no success whatsoever.
then imagine being told you’re not even allowed to drink coffee or energy drinks in the morning to try helping because it’s either not good for you or too expensive.
DSPD cannot be simply solved with “going to bed earlier”. it has nothing absolutely NOTHING to do with what you’re doing “instead of sleeping.”. trust me it’s not a choice. you dont decide for this to happen to you. you dont want this. it’s a terrible thing that i do not want. its horribly lonely and stressful. thats like telling someone who got hit by a drunk driver that they wanted to get hit by a car because they had to cross the street. exactly. it’s just mean and doesn’t make any sense.
it’s not a matter of refusing sleep. it’s not “fighting your tiredness because you choose to stay up”. its not an excuse.
“you’re up all night because you’re too interested in your phone” this is not true. if you were to take away the phone and laptop and video games, i would still be wide awake way untill the sun comes up. unless i cry myself to sleep. I’ve been like this since around 6th grade. and back then i didnt have a phone screen to stare it. i had a microwave with a digital clock on it and a window. so where does the “awake because of phone” part kick in??
but yes. while I’m awake, I’m on my phone or computer or video game because why revert to staring at the wall and ceiling (because i no longer have the microwave and window) when i can at least watch a tv show online or play a game, something to entertain myself while I’m stuck awake because it feels like 2 in the afternoon to me. not only does it entertain me but it distracts me from the thoughts that would otherwise tear me apart. and a lot of the times crying yourself to sleep doesnt work and now you’re just awake and sad with wet hair and pillows and a runny/stuffed nose. which makes it even harder to sleep. lets not even get into the mysophonia part when i dont even have my headphones at least.
there’s nothing online that wont be there in the morning. it’s not like I’m staying up on my phone because i think I’d miss out on something otherwise. it’s actually really really lonely. imagine being awake for the majority of hours that your friends are sleeping. nobody is posting anything new to look at or read for the rest of the night. you can message them all you want but they wont see it until you’re already asleep. and vice versa. imagine waking up too late for plans to be made. imagine waking up wanting to go outside with your friends but the place you want to go to closes in 3 or 4 hours and even if it doesnt, your metro card expires at that time. or imagine waking up when the freaking sun is going down. nobody understands how upsetting that is. you feel like you only have a certain amount of days to live and you just spent another one sleeping. you didnt even get to see the sun today.
to add onto it, on non-school days, have everyone insisting you go to sleep at 10 or 11 when you’ve only been awake for 4 or 5 hours and a school session is at least 8 hours. and then they say “you’re tired you’re just fighting the sleepiness because you want to be on your phone”. __ it cannot easily be fixed by staying up all night. but it has helped some people to stay up more than 78 or more hours to the point of exhaustion and passing out at a “reasonable hour”. but simply being tired does not mean you can fall asleep at a decent hour. it’s much more than when you’re tired and arent tired. its not as simple as “go to bed early wake up early”. there’s actually chemicals in your brain that are released at “sleep time” that makes you tired at a certain time.
biological clock exists. hormones are released at night that make people tired. you’re trained to this routine from a baby. up at day, sleep at night. up at day, sleep at night. your brain picks up the pattern. like how you automatically know which song lyrics are coming next to a song you’ve heard a bazillion times. its automatic. but for people with dspd, it gets messed up somehow. it can be anything from training yourself, for example if you work a night shift for a long time. it can also be caused by puberty. which is why DSPD affects 17% of adolescents and sometimes begins in childhood. for people with dspd, your brain releases this hormone at the wrong time. like your obnoxious ringtone blairing loudly at a movie theater. feeling a sudden strong urge to go to sleep in the middle of math class. ___
dspd has very low awareness and is sometimes labeled as an excuse or non-existent because its often self-diagnosed since a lot of doctors have never even heard of it unless theyre a neurologist or specialized sleep dr. but look it up. it’s very real. and I’m living proof. __ this is not for attention begging. I’m just tired of explaining it and felt like venting. and I’m tired of overhearing people make fun of me or complain about how i sleep in class all the time and how i never play in gym. it hurts. and some days i can get a grip and manage to be awake through a whole school day just to hear someone angrily mutter “go back to sleep” when i do something annoying. because when i have energy in me i tend to be a hyper giggly musical person which people find annoying. well excuse me for being awake enough to have my real personality.
Let’s talk about sleep disorders
My family is rampant with sleep disorders. My brother has narcolepsy, my other brother has insomnia, my mom appears to have narcolepsy, my sister struggles back and forth with sleep apnea, and I have delayed sleep phase disorder.
Let’s talk about mine. Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. DSPD.
No one has ever heard of it, then they hear about it and are like, “Oh, yeah, I’m a night owl too!” You may also have it. Or not. I can’t tell you. Go to a doctor.
Let’s talk about what it’s like.
DSPD means my body’s clock is different. It runs longer than 24 hours, and it goes through the preparing for wakefulness and preparing for sleep at different times than the societal norms. This means that my body starts to cool down for sleep in the early hours of the morning (4 or 5am), and to warm up for awake in the evening (4pm or so). It means my body reacts to sunlight by becoming tired for bed, and reacts to night time by wanting to become alert. I am literally nocturnal.
ALL OF THIS SUCKS LIVING IN A DIURNAL WORLD.
I basically live in perpetual jet lag. I am always exhausted and can sleep anywhere at anytime. I am forced to sleep out of my cycle, so my sleep is low quality, which makes me more tired, then I get sleepy during the day and all I can have is more low quality sleep at night. I keep a “normal” sleep schedule (9/10pm to 5am–a majority of my prime wakefulness time) so I can hold a job, but I feel like garbage. The longer I have to do this, the worse it gets. During a work week, by Thursday or Friday, I am painfully and breathlessly exhausted by 2pm and falling asleep around my house by 7pm. I use days off to sleep in until 3 or 5pm, getting some of the quality sleep a person needs to survive. The long term effects are that eventually I can’t get up as early as I need to. I get up at 5am for work but after doing that every week for 3 months, I physically can’t get up until 6am now. In my normal sleep cycle, that’s all bedtime. I would be going to bed but I am getting up.
Not everyone with DSPD has their clock set that late. Some are earlier in the night, like 1am. If you stick to a strict schedule and never ever waver, you can usually adjust your clock by an hour, but if you don’t maintain it, it will return to its normal times pretty much immediately.
Additionally, there is actually no cure or treatment. There are no drugs, exercise won’t help, weight loss won’t affect it, changing time zones won’t circumvent it (boy did I consider that). You just have to live like this. On top of that, normal jobs don’t exist for us in the desired wakefulness time. We can have low income night shift jobs as security or toll guards, or the like. And the normal jobs we force ourselves into don’t understand this disorder can disrupt your expected normal behavior, so you’ll struggle with being late and not being at full capacity for work, all of which only gets worse the longer you do it. And try to explain all of this to people. If I tell you I’m exhausted and that I have DSPD, don’t try to tell me you understand because you also get tired. Nothing feels worse than people trying to tell you that it’s normal, telling you that you just need to go to bed earlier or get some caffeine. I already feel like a societal failure because I can’t function.
I feel like people need to know this little known sleep disorder is super real. It’s not just being a night owl, it’s not just being a sleepy person, it’s not just staying up too late. It’s permanent exhaustion, diminished mental capacity, mental illness (depression, anxiety, etc) from sleep deprivation, and inescapable.
I apologize if this isn’t incredibly coherent. I did my best, but I’m exhausted.
Even and his Internal limitations
Okay we need to address this, because it’s been kind of stuck in my mind ever since the last clip happened. I may be putting WAY too much thought into this, but that’s just how I am when it comes to SKAM…
The thing Even said, when Isak asked him if he wanted to go on a vacation. Even said: “Yeah, but I’m so impulsive, I can’t plan anything.” He didn’t look sad or worried, it was just a statement. But it still kind of bugged me. Is this really how Even still sees himself? As someone who is so impulsive that he can’t plan ahead? I know being manic makes you very impulsive, and being impulsive doesn’t necessary means you’re manic. But I still fear that Even very much let himself define by his diagnose. We know he still thinks he is a burden to Isak!
How will this affect his future plans and dreams, if he doesn’t think he can plan stuff. If he thinks he only acts on impulses?
I really hope he someday realize that being impulsive doesn’t mean you are incapable of planning stuff. And planning small trips and stuff with Isak will be such a healthy thing for him!
Even you planned Isak birthday party! And you did perfect!! But he was also so nervous about it. Maybe this was really one of the first things he planned totally on his own. Organizing people and making plans days ahead. This was such a big deal for him. Maybe not just because Isak means the world to him and he wants to show him more love than he ever thinks he is capable of, but maybe also because Even doesn’t see himself as a guy who can organize and plan stuff. He was freaking out over ketchup!!
I love you Even, and I hope you one day will realize how much you are capable of. And that your diagnose does not define you or what you can or cannot do.
u say ur 6'6.. but are u?? are u really???
well ok???? here’s me next to the entrance to my apartment??? why the heck would i lie about my height??? I DON’T ENJOY BUMPING MY HEAD INTO EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE THE WORLD IS BUILT FOR HOBBITS
your WHAT
Cr:penguinodrawino
Title: the moment Here’s the finished piece! Thank you for all the supports 😭 comments are very much appreciated 💖 . . Fans art
Advice for girls: buy skinny jeans in the boy’s section
They’re more comfortable, still form fitting, and best of all: THE POCKETS. THEY HAVE ACTUAL POCKETS.
don’t believe me? look:
these are boys pants, and they look just as good on me as any other skinny jeans I own
See that phone? I’m going to put it in the pocket. Must be so small right??
Ah yes, girl pants length. Probably can’t fit any further than that-
what? what’s this?
Good god. Oh good lord in heaven. This is blasphemous.
Look at how much room is still there. There’s chaos in the streets. Babies are crying. Fashion designers are screaming out of fear of the unknown.
Buy your pants in the boys section, girls. Live in the beautiful world you deserve where you can fit shit in your pocket.
Curvy ladies: Men’s dress pants have more room in the butt. I don’t know why, I only know that all my dress pants for work are off the rack in the men’s department in Target. Literally nobody has noticed, except a couple of my younger coworkers who’ve asked me–you guessed it–”oh my god, where did you find pants with pockets?”
Tall ladies: men’s pants are easier to find in longer lengths than women’s pants are.
Trans ladies: Wanna get on this gravy train, but afraid people will misgender you for wearing clothes off the men’s racks? Step one: tell me who these people are and I will punch them in the face. Step two: if it doesn’t make you dysphoric, please don’t feel obligated to wear pants off the women’s racks if pants off the men’s racks are more comfy/useful to you. I’m a cis woman who’s been wearing pants from the boys’ section and, later, the men’s section, ever since I hit puberty and in thirteen years maybe, maybe half a dozen people have noticed. And it’s always women asking the oh-my-god-pockets question. You’re all good. <3
Fat ladies: you will pay the same for a pair of 42x32 jeans as for a pair of 34x32 jeans, instead of having to pay some kind of Fat Penance Tax by way of being in the “plus size” section. Also, did I mention more room in the butt?
Ladies concerned about modesty: For obvious reasons, there is more crotch space in men’s pants. Embrace it and enjoy a life free from cameltoe worries and spontaneous labia-wedgies when you squat down.
All ladies: I swear to god the waists in women’s pants these days are made specifically to fit exactly nobody so that no matter what you do, your underwear will show. Men’s pants do not do this. The waists sit where they’re supposed to and will actually lay flat against the small of your back instead of flopping open to show your unmentionables to the world. If you want hiphugger jeans, buy one leg-length too small and one waist-size too large and let them hang, and they still won’t accidentally show your undies. Men’s pants will last longer. They cost less, in a lot of cases. Embrace the men’s jeans. Buy the men’s jeans. Stop buying shitty flimsy women’s jeans that wear out in six months.
AND FINALLY: to determine your size in men’s pants, take a tape measure around your waist at its smallest point. This is your waist size and will be the first number in a pair of men’s pants. Next, take the tape measure from about an inch below your no-no squares parts, and run it to your ankle. (You may need a friend or parent to help with this.) This is your inseam length, and will be the second number on a pair of men’s pants. Men’s and boys’ pants are tailored the same way, so if you have trouble finding your waist size in men’s, hop over to the boys’ section. Feel no shame. If they’d give us decent fucking pants we wouldn’t have to steal theirs, right?
Listen you guys, I am SO MAD ABOUT THIS. I’ve seen this first post before, and recently my mom said, “Hey, did you see that post on Tumblr about shopping for jeans in the men’s department?”
And I said yeah, I’d seen it, I’ve been through the Trying To Fit Clothes On My Stupid Body wars, and this post really only applied to skinny jeans because they’re so stretchy. It couldn’t possibly work for regular jeans! I have TRIED SO MANY TIMES. I’ve always shopped in the men’s department because women’s clothes are like 90% bullshit and 10% fake pockets.
But I hadn’t seen the second addition, which gave me more hope, and I decided to just try on a few pairs when I was at Old Navy the other day. They have some “classic” jeans with no give to them at all, which is what I was trying on years ago that convinced me it just wasn’t possible. (Jeans in my price range didn’t really come with any form of stretch back then, as I recall. Textile technology is bad-ass.) But these days they mostly have “flex” jeans that have some give to them. (Women’s jeans are usually labeled “stretch” but apparently men’s have to be “flex” like they need stretchy garments so their HUGE MUSCLES don’t just TEAR THEIR CLOTHES!)
This was totally an impulse decision so I couldn’t measure myself, but I grabbed a few sizes based on what I vaguely thought my measurements probably were and decided it couldn’t possibly be worse than the endless cycle of regret, dissatisfaction, and recrimination that is trying on women’s clothing.
The first pair I tried on fit like a DREAM. I’ve been gaining weight lately which is a whole separate nightmare (mainly centered around “but I don’t WANT to buy new bras, this is bullshit!”) and the reason I need to buy new jeans because nothing freaking fits me, and I was sure these wouldn’t either, but DAMN. They’re the best pair of jeans I own. Twice as thick, pockets twice as big, legs nice and loose (they don’t even sell women’s jeans with a cut remotely similar to this), and contrary to my super dumb opinion from before this experience, they’ve got my plenty of room for all my womanly curvey bits. AND because they’re actually a relaxed fit instead of trying to cling to every inch of me, they don’t show my weight nearly as much as my women’s jeans do, they’re easier to move in, they’re not constantly inching down my hips with every move I make, and overall they just make me feel GOOD about how I look which is a strange new sensation I could definitely get used to.
It’s like a miracle. I want to cry both out of joy and because of all the shitty jeans now filling my closet when I could have been buying comfortable, relaxed, pocket-having men’s jeans all these years. Many blessings to the posters above, may your crops grow and your cows give milk and your jeans hold all the gadgets you desire.
Also: men’s pants have constant sizes that are based off of actual measurements instead of the women’s whatever-the-company-wants-to-make-the-size sizes. They’re far more reliable and your size will translate to other brands.
@get-dunkd-on help me remember this for our next Goodwill run lmao
I HAVE to try some men’s jeans. Sick of these super skinny show everything always having to be hitched up no pocket crap jeans!
Honestly signal boost. Because imagine this actually starts some kind of ludicrous pants revolution that ends up causing women’s pants fashion company’s sales to tank, absolutely forcing them to realize men’s pants have always had the right idea and start doing that instead of this bullshit. Like just imagine. And don’t just signal boost this. Tell every woman you know. Tell every trans friend and every curvy friend out there. You see a lady down the street, stop her and tell her you’ve discovered a new gospel and it’s purchasing men’s pants. With the way women spread information when we’re excited, the mentioned scenario could actually be hella achievable
PRAISE THE UNIVERSE I FOUND THIS POST AGAIN
Guys. Gals. Non binary pals. As a trans ftm person who just recently started shopping in the men’s department and has gigantic hips full of dysphoria let me tell you a thing.
Athletic cut jeans have more room in the butt. I repeat. Athletic cut jeans have more room in the butt. You don’t need to go to the dress pants to fit your lovely curvy self in there. Go to the regular section or big and tall if you’re a bit taller and/or wider, and there’ll be a little section of athletic style jeans. They’ve still got the giant blessed pockets and the room in the crotch and if you’re really curvy with a large bone structure like I am you can get yourself some quality pants.
This has been an addition by your local nb trans dude. Thank you for your time.
Reblog to save a fucking life
5/? Evak kisses in 60fps *:･ﾟ✧
isak + his romantic side
All that pain and misery… and loneliness… and it just made it him kind. - Amelia Pond, Doctor Who
“Even is an awesome guy...” “He’s the coolest person I’ve ever met” “The coolest! He was the one who taught me all my dance moves” ”And all the pick up lines!” “He always used to.. […]” “‘Hey bro’, ‘Relax, I’ve got you’, ‘Do you have snus?’, ‘Relax, I’ve got you’ ‘Bro do you have..’” “It’s true, he always says that.” “Do you have any perfume?’, ‘Yeah, relax bro, I’ve got you’”
