"love me anyway." 🦌⚥

casey, 35, ♋︎, he/him. | mdni. talking into the void. 🗣️

[nicegoingcowpoke]

hi again, i'm starting over again! 🌱✨

my name is casey, i'm 35, a ♋︎, and i use he/him pronouns. i pretty much just doomscroll on here, and i'll occasionally make a post and then delete it if i've gotten in my head about it. i'm invisibly disabled (that's easier to say than trying to explain everything), shy, sensitive, an overthinker, and a nobody. 🫥

um, what else? i don't really have that many friends on here, so i'd love to make some more! 🩵

i don't really know what else to put in this new pinned post, but if anyone is interested in roleplaying with me over on discord, here's my roleplay carrd for my version of buck. (please be nice to me! i know that my version of him isn't everyone's cup of tea, so please just mosey on along if you don't like him.)

i'm also a mono buddie shipper! to each their own, but i don't want to see or hear about any other ships. please respect this.

if you've gotten this far and would like to be friends with me, please dm me or follow me so that i know! thanks!

[nicegoingcowpoke]

the urge to post and be active but not knowing what to post about is a dilemma i'm constantly finding myself in.

[nicegoingcowpoke]

all i do is think about buddie and make everything about buddie. 🥲🩵

[nicegoingcowpoke]

i don't know if it's my generation or what, but i grew up roleplaying more than i did writing fanfiction. and nowadays, it's nearly impossible to find people to roleplay with because everyone seems to just be writing fanfiction now. what a bummer. 😞

[nicegoingcowpoke]

i love buck/oliver's little t-rex arms. 🦖

[nicegoingcowpoke]

it's my birthday today! i'm 35 and apparently too old to still be in fandom spaces, but i'm never gonna leave, so whatever.

i also dropped my phone in the parking lot. the camera and my case got all scraped up, and a family member kept misgendering me all day. oh, but our server thought i was only 22, so that was nice!

happy birthday to me.

[nicegoingcowpoke]

i'll never jump on the bandwagon of wanting buck or eddie with anyone other than each other, but to each their own, just don't come to me talking about your other ships, please and thank you.

[nicegoingcowpoke]

little!buck is very special to me and i love him so much, but i don't think that i'll go back to sharing much about him since some of you are just mean af for no reason. 🖕😠

[nicegoingcowpoke]

"act your age!" nope, never. 🍼🙅‍♂️🧠

[nicegoingcowpoke]

i'm in summerween mode! is anyone else? and also, i can't stop thinking about summerween!buddie! buuttt i don't have it in me to write anything, so they're just gonna have to stay in my weird little head. 🤪

[nicegoingcowpoke]

happy birthday to my buckaroo and oliver! 🩵 we're all cancers. 🦀♋️

[nicegoingcowpoke]

happy birthday to eddie diaz! may buck bake him lots of sweet treats! (i know my buck will!) 🥰☺️

[nicegoingcowpoke]

everyone keeps telling me that my online friends are not real friends and that i need to make friends irl, but i have the hardest time making/keeping any friends in general, so i'm not sure what i'm supposed to do. and as far as online friends go, i only have a couple of them, so i really do need more friends, but again, i don't know how to go about making them when nothing i do works.

so anyway, does anyone in the 9-1-1 fandom wanna be friends with me? because having more online friends sounds better than never having anymore friends at all.

[nicegoingcowpoke]

it's national hug a deer day! so... *coughs* where are buck's huggies at?!

[nicegoingcowpoke]

"you can't make everything about buddie!" actually, yes i can. i have been since the beginning and i will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

[nicegoingcowpoke]

i'm not trying to be rude or whatever by being like this, but i don't like or reblog stuff anymore because i don't know who's safe to interact with or not in this fandom. i've turned my comments off for this reason too. i know that i'm a baby, but i've run into some really mean people on here... and it's just left me kinda paranoid ever since, so i don't really do anything on here except doomscroll, make the occasional post and then delete it.

[nicegoingcowpoke]

genuinely, how do you guys make friends so easily on here? i've been on here periodically over the years and have only made a couple of friends/found a couple of writing partners, but it seems like everyone already has their own little friend groups and there's nowhere that i fit in. i come on here (and twitter/x) just to see what's going on/what's new and to feel like i'm connected to the outside world somehow (i have no life anymore), but it keeps making me sad. i want to be a part of something and feel like i matter, but i have no friggin' clue how to do that. i've tried putting myself out there time and time again only for it to backfire, so now i'm so isolated that i don't even know where to begin in order to change things for myself. and no, i'm not posting this for attention. i genuinely just want to connect with other people that feel like me and maybe become friends with someone because i'm honestly just so tired of feeling alone.