last one awake at night

TW-Derealization, General vent, just not great unstable emotions and even less stable dimensions ahead-semi inactive

[user-boxer]

This user has a triggering blog

[nightmutt]

ANYWAY i won one of the #finishinfinitytrain prizes and i couldnt be more ecstatic B)

[nightmutt]

i know this has nothing to do with my blog, but this is the only place i have followers. i drew fanart for the first time in years bc of infinity train. if you have not watched the show yet i recommend it 500%. i don't wanna use the phrase "since avatar the last airbender" but it's the only thing i can think to compare it to. it is the best cartoon since atla. the characters are great and relatable, the writing is solid and consistent, it has emotional depth, concepts i'm kicking myself for not coming up with first, and a talking corgi king

if you have watched it and you're not aware of what's going on, watch this video

#FinishInfinityTrain

[nightmutt]

14, 19, 29 💗

14- (when is my birthday) 12/21! winter solstice! i was also born on winter street which is pretty cool i guess

19- (one wish) i want to be all knowing. not in a godly sense but just in a "the fact i can't understand everything right now, and i'll never be able to know the truth of the universe drives me crazy" kinda way. i just wanna know what conspiracy theories were right

29- (biggest mistake) not talking to people. people like me, even if i think they don't, and i make friends relatively easily. one of my friends has terminal cancer and only has 5> months and i missed out on the opportunity of knowing him years sooner, simply because i was constantly scared of embarrassment when i was younger (and now lol i haven't worked through shit). but hey, c'est la vie i guess

edit: i forgot words bc i was tired as shit

[theirdelusion-deactivated202106]

[havewemetsomewhere]

[kawaisouna]

[australiansanta]

i’m at such a ?? time of my life i’m just ???????????????????????? like ????????

[nightmutt]

[girlwomb-deactivated20180812]

[nightmutt]

[nightmutt]

i cant feel the ground under my feet

[nightmutt]

my meds make me dizzy and light headed as well as amplifying my memory lapses so i think im spending like 40-60% of my days utterly lost or confused

[nightmutt]

[nightmutt]

who are you? who was i?

[nightmutt]

the fact that i’m not elton jjohn during the 60′s-90′s pisses me tf off. gahh

[nightmutt]

lmao found out that i was throwing up at least once a week for a while there is bc of how inconsistently i take my meds. i was going through withdrawal and it took me WEEKS to connect the “meds that cause stomach problems” to the “stomach problems that happen when you stop taking your meds.” god im such a dumbass

[tootheyed]

[bakwaaas]

sometimes I see older people and I’m like... how do you do it? how do you cope with the loss of people and places and things as life progresses