Win32:Nimda

Holding the back doors open since 2001 Malware Therian, 29x Fictionkind Alterhumanity, Fanart, Hope, and a little bit of fun

[holybeings]

it’s all going to work out better than we imagine

[yellowlikelemons]

Made a #webcore bracelet

[yourlocallux]

Transcript under the cut!

It's been a bit, thx to everyone who reads this. I "lost" my arm around 2 years ago, it fluctuates how bad it is but I'd say most of the time it's at least partly usable.

-f

[page one] being a disabled headmate in an ablebodied body is... weird.

[page two] Just to get a few things out of the way: I do not consider myself physically disabled. For the most part I can Function similarly to my headmates. This experience falls into our BID (Body Integrity Disorder) It is not voluntary and I am not trying to "appropriate being disabled". If I could choose, I'd probably have both arms.

[page three] My arm is weird. Its there but its also not. Sometimes I can use it, sometimes I cant. Our muscle memory is shared, which is why Im able to draw or write at all. I dont think about moving my arm, I think about putting the line on the paper. Still, on bad days I struggle with line control.

[page four] On good days I can mask. Sometimes I even forget about it. At least until I get reminded. It starts to hurt pretty bad when I overuse my arm. maybe I'm using the muscles wrong or something. I don't think I can actually lose control over it, but it does feel like I cant use it at those moments.

[page five] When my arm doesn't cooperate, I have a some stable positions it can rest in. Just relaxing the arm gets really uncomfortable really quickly. Very inconspicuous though. The dinosaur arm is what I do most times. Probably the reason our arm is sore the following day. resting the hand on the shoulder or chest is comfy, but looks really stupid. I do wish it wasn't there sometimes, but it is really useful when it works since its our dominant hand. also all my headmates need it.

[page six] I could write a whole essay about how BID affects our system (yes, it does affect all of us to varying degrees) and me in particular, but I think I rambled enough. Thanks for reading and sorry for the lack of activity!

[semiplural]

Pathos

Plural Catch-22: the path to happiness is lined with people who will call you fake for trying to walk it.

Fuck them. Walk it anyway.

Image ID in alt text and under the cut.

Image one: Red, drawn repeatedly in boxes where she experiences intense suffering: "Why am I more palatable to the Average Joe if I paint myself crying and (censored) and suffering and dying a thousand times over than if I draw my system smiling?"

Part of the system is drawn smiling: Red, Hawthorne, and Gwen.

Image two: "It's pathologization, of course." A drawing of Red as the Vitruvian Man, wings and tail and broken halo extended, head duplicated. Figure one: the broken must suffer to be broken in a way that matters. Figure two: if you're not suffering, then I can ignore you. Figure three: if you're weird and happy, then you're a lying, cheating bitch who deserves to be hung in the public square.

"If you're not normal, then you're suffering." "If you're not suffering, then you're normal. Get with the program and stop pretending you're strange."

Image three: Red, sitting curled up and turned away, broken halo and a devil's tail. "I hate it. I hate that most of the Western, colonized world sees my existence as inherently awful. I hate that my existence is still something to cure. I hate that a system broadcasting their trauma is treated as more real than one broadcasting their joy."

[crimsoncorona]

See, what bothers me is the double standard of it all. We're sick if we're multiple and miserable. We're liars if we're multiple and happy. We were never multiple at all if we fuse, and people will take every chance they get to prove we were faking it in the first place. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't, and double-damned if you try something else.

What does anyone you want from us? For us to shut up and disappear so you can call us fake again? For us to drag ourselves over hot coals until we're in enough pain to satisfy you? For us to wring out every drop of our trauma history for your entertainment, just so you can discard us the second you have a different opinion about anything at all?

The plural community's not exempt from this issue. You know which systems get reblogged the most? Which systems get their words taken as Expert Advice? Who gets heard, who gets thought of, who gets boosted? Have you ever noticed that some systems are palatable and others aren't, and that people regularly throw the unpalatable systems in harm's way to justify their own reality as "one of the good ones?"

Do you really think Western medicine thinks any of us are "the good ones" when we're all either: their precious problem patients waiting for a therapist to swoop in and rescue us from our misery; or noncompliant malingering jerks who need to shut up and take their medicine?

There are no good madmen, only quiet ones.

[mismess]

Alright here's an actual drawing for the show, cause I love them so much and I need to see more of them

[sforzzz]

copper ii sulfate has no reason to be this blue. this shade of blue looks like it should only be a digital invention

[rabbitindisguise]

forbidden blue raspberry candy

[necronatron]

Chalcanthite is really something else. It is SOLUBLE in water, however, so you must be careful with it because you don't want copper poisoning. An artificially produced version, referred to as Copper(II) sulfate, is used in agriculture, specifically in winegrowing. It is used for preventing fungal growth on grapes. I have a specimen of the non-anthropogenically occurring version (aka Chalcanthite) and I quite like it!

[the-tenth-doctors-left-shoe]

it really has

[cerastes]

People don’t even say w00t anymore.

[cerastes]

This sux00rz…

[that-dreaming-dragon]

To those that have different number of digits than the 5 on hand, how does it feel for you?

I have three, and sometimes it feels right and nice to display that in whatever configuration that feels right at that moment.

[thetadelta]

I don't often have a different number of hand digits, but during salamander shifts (4 digits) I instinctively ignore my pinkie fingers, I either bend them in so I can't use them or I group them with the finger next to it; the latter is generally more comfortable/practical :)

[aestherians]

The few times I've had a bison ph-shift, it was almost like I lost feeling in all fingers except the middle two (never mind that bison have dew claws - I sure didn't feel them). And the two remaining fingers lost dexterity. It took some effort to break out of it and be able to use my hands as usual.

[theplant-system]

I'm not a therian but pls reblog or something if youre an adult therian. I need to find more nonhuman blogs, a lot of people on here who identify as animals are children.

[theinternetarchive]

System wallpapers from Windows XP's RTM, Build 2600; Microsoft Co., August 24, 2001.

[calware]

spiritual successor to my email post

[calware]

ok this too

[evilwizard]

*moving expired potions from the shelf labeled Healing to the shelf labeled Poisons*

[evilwizard]

*moving expired Poisons to the shelf labeled Potential Mountain Dew Flavors*

[furryprovocateur]

sending anon hate is the ultimate losing game because like, what're you gonna do? refresh their blog every 3 minutes? fan behavior

[gottastim]

coloringxgirlx on ig

[diserbillyti]

Something that I always find confusing is when people arbitrarily set limits for what sounds like a believable disability to them. Especially when it's psychosocial, right. You see this commonly with a specific range of disabilities, imo most notably dissociative identity disorder.

OK so we do not know how the brain works really, we do not know how the chemicals we put into the brain to treat neurological conditions work in depth, human consciousness is one of the most complex things in existence and we do not have and perhaps never will have a complete grasp of the phenomenon. There are pervert freaks who have devoted their entire lives to understanding this shit, who have spent decades in education and communication with other pervert freaks, people who can actually explain you brain anatomy and chemistry in such depth and detail that you'd have be a pervert freak of a similar level of education to actually follow along, right.

And the first thing they'll tell you is, man we don't know. We don't know like 90% of this bullshit. Sometimes you Fred Flintstone a dude on the head and he wakes up believing he's a 1930s mafia don. Sometimes people are just born brainweird in a way that gives them a hyperactive nervous system that can't filter excessive stimuli and this makes them shit at parties. Sometimes a guy has a pipe in his brain and exhibits no outward signs of brain damage until he just abruptly dies one day. That's just something that happens.

Meanwhile, Morgan has decided he does not believe in dissociative identity disorder because it just sounds toooo wacky, right. But also, he does not put any kind of limitation on what schizophrenia can make somebody believe. So, if it's called "schizophrenia," it can be anything from the moon is pregnant to the Jews did 9/11 to I am living in a Truman Show and all of my family members have been replaced by actors, right. Because that's a familiar social script of "crazy" that he can reconcile and dismiss, I guess. But he hears a guy is five guys and he's like oh hold on nah. He has a high school diploma and has spent six years working at Outback Steakhouse, but he reckons his little cousin has autism so he can see through these DID peoples' bullshit hey.

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]